Purely Platonic
by Fawkes' Feather
Summary: An accident leaves Taichi severely injured, throwing him into the path of another young man about the same age. At first, their love is purely platonic but it eventually blossoms into something greater, causing both their lives to spiral out of control.
1. Introducing Taichi

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Digimon. Well, except for a love for Taito but that's about it…

A/N: My second Digimon fic! I was debating with myself if I should do a sequel or not (I decided not to) but, being high on coffee and chocolate, I came up with a plot for another story. If I seem to have "borrowed" the plot from someone else, I'm really sorry but, seeing as I am relatively new to the world of Taito and writing Digimon fictions, I, in no way shape or form, did or tried to do.

Note: Tai and Matt are in their early twenties in this fic. Not sure what their ages are on the show but I've decided to make them the same age. Also, I am not a doctor, not anything close so excuse me if I'm vague or make my characters say something that a normal doctor would not. This is a made-up world and in MY world, everything goes.

_"Hey Taichi, we're going to get some grub right now. Wanna come?" A young man with bright chocolate brown eyes and bushy brunette hair smiled politely and shook his head, declining the invitation._

_"Sorry, I've got to go home and finish my homework. Can't believe practice went overtime again. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" the boy turned and walked down the cement sidewalk. He hummed happily to himself, shifting his large black duffel bag to the other shoulder and bouncing the football he had with him. Stopping at a corner, he juggled the ball, eyes narrowed in concentration as the ball bounced from one foot to the other to his knee. Noticing the light had changed, he caught the ball and stowed it away in his bag. Shivering slightly, he pulled his coat closer to his body all the while wishing he was at home where it was warm. Intent on getting home as fast as possible, he stepped off the curb._

_"NO!" a blinding flash of white light, a horrible shrieking sound and then everything went black.

* * *

_

I groaned as I opened my eyes. The room was too bright, everything was too bright, why the hell were they flashing lights directly into my eyes? I tried to sit up but my body wouldn't listen. Confused and disoriented, I gave up any thought of movement and focused instead on blinking away the spots that formed in my vision.

"Oh good, you're awake. I was hoping you would be okay, Yagami Taichi." My eyes snapped to the source of sound and standing beside the bed was a tall, thin man in a lab coat, holding a clipboard. "Now, I must impress upon you the seriousness of your condition. Do not, whatsoever, try to sit up, or stand. You may move your arms or hands but that is about it." He was stern and I grunted to show that I understood. "I'll be back later but I'll send someone in with some food. I'm sure you're hungry, no?" I said nothing but I WAS hungry. The doctor nodded curtly then left the room. Fifteen minutes later, the door opened again and feeling lonely, I was glad to see someone who looked to be about my own age, give or take a few years.

"Hey." The newcomer said by way of greeting, tilting his head back in the purely manly way. He pressed a few buttons on the control panel by the bed and I had the strange sensation of being propped up and indeed, the bed had risen enough that I was given the impression of sitting upright. "There, should make it easier for you to eat." The tray he was carrying was set on a small tabletop that attached to the bed and I was given utensils. However, try as I might, I could not, for the life of me, manipulate my fingers to hold the silverware; they kept slipping from my fingers. "Need some help?" Could this guy talk in complete sentences? I wondered angrily and glared at him.

"No," I lifted my chin stubbornly although it was obvious that I did. I wasn't about to admit that to a complete stranger and half-expected the guy to sigh in frustration then help me despite any protestations.

"Suit yourself." Lithe shoulders shrugged and a slender body settled into the chair beside the bed. Bright eyes watched me with amusement and laughter as I continued to fumble with the fork and knife for a few more minutes before throwing them across the room in a fit of frustration.

"Shit!" I exploded and covered my eyes with shaking hands. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I manage the simple task of holding a fork and knife?

"Hey, it's okay. Here, let me help you." Pale hands picked up the utensils. I mustered my best "death" glare but the guy hardly seemed fazed. "Don't you think it's a bit too dark in here? Could I turn on the lights?" Those hands dropped the silverware onto the tray and then disappeared for a moment. Slowly, softly, the lights turned on but they stayed dim, low enough so that my tender eyes could stand it but enough so that my "helper" was satisfied. Again the hands picked up the fork and guided a piece of unknown substance toward my mouth which remained firmly closed. "Suit yourself." He said again and the hands abandoned their task.

I watched as this stranger settled once again into the chair. This person, this man sitting next to me was the most beautiful person I had ever seen. He had long blonde hair which hung lazily around his face, overgrown bangs hanging in eyes the color of the ocean, framing a thin, pale face. His body was lean and covered in a white uniform. He seemed to have noticed my lingering gaze, which I snapped away from his face when he looked up, and returned it with a look of his own.

"I'm Ishida Yamato, by the way." he informed, sounding bored. Those wide blue eyes boring right into my skin, seemingly looking at my very soul; his unblinking stare was getting uncomfortable and I squirmed slightly and immediately regretted the action. Stars popped in my eyes and I gasped from the pain that shot down my spine.

"That might not be the wisest thing to do. Don't you remember what your doctor just told you? Now will you let me help you or not?" I glanced back down at the food in front of me. Green mush, yellow mush, and brown mush separated in little compartments on the urine colored plastic tray. No way in hell.

"This isn't food," I grunted and poked distastefully at the green mush with my finger.

"Sure it is. It just doesn't look like food. There's a difference." Yamato's voice lost its bored tone and he cocked his head slightly to the left. "Well, it does look a bit disgusting, doesn't it?" I snorted and rolled my eyes.

"A bit disgusting?! It's loathsome."

"That's going a bit far, don't you think?" Yamato raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at me and I distinctly saw a twinkle hiding behind the nonchalant expression that masked his blue eyes. Since when did a male have to look so goddamned pretty? "You haven't even tried it yet? You know, looks can be deceiving." I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists knowing that Yamato was right and not willing to admit it. "At least take a bite." The blonde's tone switched from mocking to imploring and I made the mistake of looking at him. _Shit. How can I say no to THAT? _I sighed and reluctantly nodded, closing my eyes from the humiliation of having to be spoon-fed by an inhumanely beautiful stranger. The mush was tipped into my open mouth and almost immediately I spit it out, crossing my eyes as I did so.

"There, now I can honestly say that it's not only disgusting, it's loathsome and vile as well." I wiped my mouth and gulped down the glass of water that had been brought along with the meal. Yet the taste lingered in my mouth and I felt like gagging. Yamato made a funny noise and then he began to laugh. I made a face at him. "What the fucking hell is so funny?" I snapped, his amusement at the predicament I was in was doing nothing to improve my mood.

"Language, Yagami, language." Yamato wagged his index finger at me and in reply, I made a rude gesture with my middle finger. It only served to make Yamato laugh harder. "Well then, since you refuse to eat the food we provide for you, I guess I'll have to go and get you something you WILL eat."

"Wait—what?" I was confused. Why would this—come to think of it, what WAS Yamato's place at the hospital?—bother to go out of his way to get ME, a mere patient, food?

"I'm your therapist, you know." Yamato said suddenly and I jumped. '_Holy hell, how'd he know what I was thinking?_' "Oh bloody shit," Yamato cursed, overlooking the fact that just moments before, he had been lecturing ME about my language, "forget what I just said, okay?" He turned red and chewed on his lip. "I guess I'll go and get you some real food then. I'll be back soon." He spun around on his heel, the rubber of the perfectly white sneaker squeaking on the antiseptic floor. The door swung closed behind him, leaving me to some very confused thoughts.

_'Oh well. Might as well get some shut eye.'_ I leaned back and closed my eyes. I was just dozing off when a squeal shattered the tranquility that had developed as soon as Yamato had left. Groaning silently, I cracked open an eye and was engulfed in a choking hug.

"Oh baby, Tai, honey. You scared me half to death." A woman breathed into my ear as she squeezed the breath out of me. I smiled and returned the hug knowing she would let go once I responded. She was shaking and I felt guilty for worrying her.

"Hi mom," I managed to gasp before I was attacked with another hug. "Hey Kar. What's cookin'?"

"You—baka!" she cried tearfully and smacked me lightly on the forehead.

"Hey, I may be a baka but I'm YOUR idiot onii-chan so you'll have to live with me for the rest of your life." I winked jauntily at her and she rolled her hazel eyes affectionately at me, sighing exasperatedly. They chattered happily away to me, talking over each other until their words were so mixed together that I couldn't understand a word they were saying. Suddenly, I noticed that one member of the family was not there. "Where's dad?" I asked, cutting into their theatrics. Silence fell, cold and tense and suddenly I was gripped with a sense of foreboding.

"Taichi, sweetie, you have to understand that your father is a very busy man. He—well, he's at work right now and--" my mother stammered nervously and the apprehension was replaced with simmering anger.

"So he put his precious company and the money and all that fucking shit over his own son?!" My voice rose, drowning out his mother's stern warnings about the language that I'd used. "He'd rather see how much money that fucking company can make rather than see me? Screw that bastard," my voice broke and I turned away from my mother and sister, trying to hide the hot tears of hurt. "He cares more about money than his own flesh and blood. I don't need him." But as much as I wanted to convince myself of that fact, in the deep recesses of my heart, I still wished that my father was more involved in my life.

Deep inside the shell I had built around my soul to protect it, I still longed for a father who would be willing to kick a soccer ball around with me, or help me with homework, anything to be a part of my life instead of just in passing. I wanted him to earn the title of 'father,' wanted to see him, not as some stranger to be dealt with formally, but as a friend whom I could call 'dad.' Someone I could talk to about my problems. I was a little old to be thinking this way but I had grown up with a person who was gone half my life on some business trip or another. And the part of me that never grew up wanted a father to be a role model and to show him how to act in a society where impressions were the most important thing.

"Oh Tai," Kari put her hands on my shoulders. "I suppose he has his reasons." I turned to her, eyes flaring angrily but seeing her caring, understanding expression melted away the resentment and I sighed. She wrapped me in a hug, a tender one, and I accepted it gratefully.

"Thanks Kar," I said, breaking away from her. She beamed her thousand watt smile at me. Jokingly, I held up my hands in front of my eyes, as if shielding them from a blinding light and Kari laughed, smacked away my hands. It was our personal joke, ever since she confessed to me that the only reason she went out with the boy who would become her ex-boyfriend was that he told her she had a smile that outshone the sun. It was the cheesiest line I'd ever heard and I never could resist teasing Kari about it. Although I had to admit that she did have the ability to light up a room when she smiled.

"I suppose we'll go get something to eat now but we'll be back later, maybe tomorrow. Get some rest, ok?" Mom kissed me on my forehead but I pushed her away, laughing as a bright red blush crept up in my ears.

"Mom!" I complained but she only looked at me innocently.

"What? Afraid that the big bad bullies will tease you cuz you're a mama's boy?" she jeered good-naturedly and ruffled my hair. "Aww, I love you too, Tai."

"Love ya, mom, Kar. See you later." And they left, waving good-bye. When all was still again, I closed his eyes and drifted off into welcomed sleep, a sad smile playing around my lips. I slept soundly, tired and still hurting everywhere. Little did I know that this was going to be the last time I smiled for a long time.

A/N: Ta-da! So how'd you like the first chapter? Not angsty yet but I promise the despair will come! Bwahahaha. I shall make them suffer. Feedback and constructive criticism are always welcomed and very much appreciated. If you want to flame me, go right ahead. I'm not stopping you.


	2. Introducing Yamato

Disclaimer: I don't make money off this. Digimon's not mine.

A/N: This is Yamato's P.O.V. This story will be similar to my other one in the sense that each chapter will switch between Tai's and Yamato's POV's.

I was told to bring him food. The paralyzed patient: Yagami Taichi. I did as I was told, knowing my supervisor was trying to get me acquainted with the young man whom I would be working with for a while. I expected him to be young, around my age; what I didn't expect was for said person to be someone so handsome, even with the bruises and scratches marring the tanned skin. He was tall, I could tell, although he was lying down, and from the muscular build outlined in the hospital gown, I knew he was very athletic.

He was unresponsive and uncooperative at first so I sat back and allowed him to work himself into a sufficiently frustrated state before using my powerful persuasion skills to get him to open his mouth and allow me to feed him. Poor Taichi had such a violent reaction to the hospital food (not that I could blame him) that I took pity on him and went out to bring him something edible. When I returned, a pretty older woman with hazel eyes crinkled at the edges and Taichi's brown hair lined with streaks of gray came walking out of his room. Right behind her was a younger girl who had all the good looks of her mother with a younger, more tomboy-ish demeanor. They were talking quietly amongst themselves and the girl looked back over her shoulder.

"How are we going to tell him, mom?" she whispered, a serious look on her face. "He's going to be devastated. You know how Tai is."

"I know, Kari, but we have to." The woman sighed and a few tears leaked out the corners of her eyes. "What's his father going to say? You know your dad. To him, a useful child is a perfect one and he has no room in his heart for Taichi in this condition. He'll be furious. I doubt he'll even claim Tai as his own son from now on. What are we going to do?" She stopped walking and covered her face with her hands.

"Everything will work out in the end. I'm sure of it." Kari hugged her mom and they walked out of the building. I smiled to myself. Taichi was lucky to have a family, or at least part of a family, who cared about him, not to mention, worried about him. I pushed open his door, ready to flourish the burger, fries and drink I had bought for him at the restaurant across the street but he was fast asleep. I pressed a few buttons and slowly, the hospital bed lowered itself so he was lying flat. Setting the food and drink on the bedside table, I pulled the chair up and sat down, observing the man in sleep. His mouth was slightly open and he breathed heavily, his chest rising up and down. I smiled wryly at him.

"Sleep well, Taichi-san. Sleep without a worry or care because pretty soon, you'll be getting the news of your lifetime." He moved his head in response and I stood, ready to go home and get some sleep myself.

The next day passed slowly and tediously as I waited for the time I would be re-introduced to Taichi, only this time as Ishida Yamato, his therapist. I was called to his room in the evening, around the time I would normally have left and dropped whatever I was doing to head to his room. Taichi was sitting up, propped on the bed.

"You!" he said without maliciousness, only incredulity. "What're you doing here?" His eyes darted nervously from his mother to his sister, then back to the doctor and finally back at me. He seemed to be asking for an explanation to what was going on.

"Has he been told yet?" I asked the doctor quietly and the older man shook his head.

"You tell him what happened."

"Taichi?" I approached him and sat at the edge of his bed. He shrunk away from me but held my gaze. "Taichi, I have good news and I have bad news. Which would you like first?" He thought for a moment, once again glancing at his mother and sister for support. They smiled at him, silently encouraging him. I felt something stir in the pit of my stomach. How long had it been since I'd seen looks as kind as the ones they had just given him?

"The bad news," he said firmly—interrupting my rather unpleasant train of thought—and turned his eyes back at me.

"Well, you will be fine but the accident caused some damage to your spinal cord and some of your nerves. There is a high possibility, a high probability, that you are paralyzed from the waist down. How--,"

"WHAT?!" Taichi shouted, interrupting me, forgetting the good news I still had to deliver. "What the hell are you saying?" His mouth was open and he had a look of desperate disbelief.

"I'm saying, Taichi, that because of the accident, you might not be able to move from the waist down." I repeated. "But there is some good news." He snorted and rolled his eyes, staring out the window.

"Taichi!" his mother reprimanded.

"What, mother? What? You want me to listen and act like a nice little boy? You heard what he said?! I'm paralyzed! What news could he bring that could possibly take away this—this—whatever!" he snapped, waving a hand in the air as he was unable to find the proper word.

"The doctors did their best to repair those nerves and we are pretty sure that with lots of help and hard work, you will be able to walk once more. And if you're willing to push yourself extra hard, I have high hopes that you will be able to, one day, walk without the aid of a cane." I smiled at him but he did not reciprocate the action.

"Will I be able to play football?" he asked quietly, still looking out the window at the bright blue sky.

"I don't think so." I shook my head. "Not the way you used to. Nothing will ever be quite the same, I'm afraid." He nodded and bit his lip.

"So you're telling me that if I work my ass off I can walk again and that's the best I can do. I won't be able to play football or do sports ever again."

"Not ever again, Taichi. With some luck you will be able to play again but I would advise against playing _competitively_ as you might injure yourself even more. And this is providing you are even able to walk by yourself." I hated the way the words sounded in my mouth and the effect they had on this boy. He was quiet; the expressive brown eyes were suddenly overbright and shimmering unnaturally in the light. A choked sound rose in his throat but he muffled it and turned his head, determined not to let anyone see the tears that were threatening to spill—and determined to hide the furious expression rising on his face.

"Taichi, I'm so sorry but, you know--," Kari put a hand out but he shrugged it off.

"Just go. I—I need some time to think. Just leave me alone." He did not meet their eyes and the two women nodded and walked out, accompanied by the doctor. I sat in the chair and watched him. The sunlight played on his face and hair, accenting the fine angles and lines on his face. There was a hint of gold and orange amongst the darker colored strands of brown and his olive skin was flawless save for the cuts left over by the accident and those would fade with time.

"Should I leave too? Or can I have the great honor of staying with you?" I asked in a light tone, trying to leaven the sadness I could feel emanating from him. He turned to me with angry eyes.

"Why me?" he asked abruptly. "Why did that truck have to hit ME? Why, God? Is it because I don't go to church anymore? Is it because I play football instead of going to your goddamn church?" He was suddenly shouting in a hoarse, cracked tone. "ARE YOU PUNISHING ME, GOD? IS THAT IT? TRYING TO TEACH ME A LESSON, ARE YOU?"

"Taichi, Taichi, calm down." I reached out to him and put a hand on each of his shoulders but he pushed me away, a fist swinging from nowhere and hitting my jaw.

"God, I can't be paralyzed. It's not possible." He stopped fighting as suddenly as he had started yelling. "It's not possible. Please tell me this is just a sick joke." There was defeat on his face, a deep sadness reflected in his eyes and for once, I didn't know what to say. There was no witty remark, no sarcastic comment that I could think of so I did the next best thing; I pulled him into a hug.

"Gerroff me," Taichi grunted, pushing me away. "Look, I don't need your pity or whatever this is you're showing me."

"I'm not pitying you," I replied quickly, knowing how much I hated pity as well. "I—I—well, I know how you're feeling and I know that when I'd felt that way, a hug would've really helped."

"You?" Taichi let out a bitter laugh. "You? Know how I feel? Unless you've ever been paralyzed and completely helpless to help yourself, you have no idea what I'm going through. And seeing as how you can walk just fine, I don't think you've ever been in my situation."

"Maybe not your situation exactly but I do know what it's like to feel helpless, at someone else's mercy. I know what it feels like to want so badly to do something, anything, and knowing that you can't do anything at all just makes you want to scream or cry or both. I know that feeling, Taichi." _All too well,_ I added silently.

"How could you possibly know?" Taichi snapped.

"My brother, Takeru, died of cancer about two years ago. He had started complaining about headaches, massive ones that blinded him with the pain, and I got worried so I took him to the hospital. They X-rayed him and ran some tests and eventually found a mass in his brain about the size of a golf ball. At first they said the mass was nothing, that it was benign, and gave him some painkillers but the headaches got worse. They X-rayed him again and found that the mass had grown.

"He was subjected to chemotherapy radiation. You should have seen him, Taichi. He had always had this—this unconquerable spirit surrounding him and the treatment and futility of the treatment zapped him of all energy he possessed. He used to smile all the time and that smile was so infectious," I smiled sadly, remembering the way he could make anyone feel better, "and just by looking at him, you could see his passion for life. I watched him for two years. Two miserable years that robbed him of his health, strength, and smile. He wasted away right in front of me and there was not a damn thing I could do about it. He had always been there for me when I needed him and when he needed help, I was unable to give it to him. I loved him so much I begged God to make ME sick, anything but what was happening to him. then, one day, he collapsed and never woke up. He was in a coma for two months and I sat at his bedside, hoping, praying that he would wake up. But he never did. Eventually, I told him that if he was suffering, if the pain was just too much, to just—," my voice cracked slightly, "just let go. I wanted so badly to help that I would have gone through the fiery infernos of hell just to heal him but I couldn't.

"So, yes, Taichi, I do understand, to some extent, what you are feeling. But you have a choice. You CAN help yourself. You can choose to stop feeling sorry for yourself and work your ass off or you can sink into a depression. And you should consider yourself lucky that you have a family who cares about you and supports you. You have so many people around you, wanting to help. Your mom and your sister, for starters. And I'm here to help you. Let me."

"I'm sorry," Taichi muttered. "I must have sounded so stupid to you. I can't believe how selfish I was being."

"No, that's okay. Like I said, I understand how you feel. I asked the same thing. God, why Takeru? Why are you taking him away from me?" I smiled. "We've all asked similar questions at one point or another."

"Where were your parents?" he asked, curiously and I stared at him. The one question I couldn't answer, he had to ask.

"They were—busy," I replied shortly, not wishing to discuss the subject further. "Look, I have to go now but I'll be back tomorrow. I'll let you know what I expect of you in terms of effort and stuff like that and I'll explain what I have planned for your exercises. Sound good?"

"Yeah, but, Yamato? Will you be the only one working with me? Like, will you have assistants or things like that?"

"No. I'll be working with you solely. Unless something happens to me and I am unable to make it to the session but that is not likely. Of course, you'll have to wait until everything heals before I let you get off that bed. See you tomorrow, Taichi." I stood to leave when he called out.

"Hey, Yamato, call me Tai, okay?" I looked back and he was staring intently at his blanket, twiddling his thumbs. Was it me or was he blushing? "It's just that—when you call me Taichi, it sounds like my mother when she's angry." I couldn't help it so I laughed.

"Okay, Tai-san. Good-night."

The snow was swirling heavily by the time I got home and never had I been so glad to be inside. Holding a mug of hot tea, I made my way to my favorite part of the house: my library. It was located right behind my bedroom and accessed through a sliding wood panel which blended into the wall so well that one could hardly tell it was there. The room was medium in size, though floor space was very limited. It had a hexagonal shape and the two walls closest to the door were taken up by bookshelves which I had had installed. The three remaining walls were not walls but enormous bay windows going from the ceiling to about two feet off the floor with plushy window seats reaching the rest of the way. What remained of the floor was covered by a soft, fluffy rug. The room was hidden, covered from outside view by trees and plants, which shaded the room but allowed enough light to shine through during the day. I loved the room for its isolation from the world, a place where I could go and just think without a chance of being disturbed. A place I could run to when the world became too much to deal with. It was my safe haven.

I leaned my head against one of the windows and watched my breath mist the cool glass. Why had I told Taichi about my brother? Why had I allowed him to see that much of my emotions just one day after first meeting him? I always worked so hard to hide my feelings and there I was, practically pouring my life story to him.

Yet, he was the type of person that, like my brother, was always so damned happy, so passionate about life that should he be unhappy in any way, it was almost heart-breaking. I wrapped my arms around my knees and snuggled into the soft fabric of my sweater. I thought about his mother and sister and the love that shone in their eyes as they were watching him and the sadness that they felt seeing his reaction to the news. I may have lied a little in implying that with my help, he would definitely walk again but I had not lied when I told him that he was lucky his family cared about him.

I sighed. No wonder he was so happy. He had obviously grown up in an environment that screamed encouraging. His mother looked like someone who stayed home all day and set out a tray of cookies and milk when her children came home from school. His sister was your every-day, normal, run-of-the-mill kid sister who could be a pain in the ass but really was sweet and lovable. I bet Tai was very protective of her and she of him. In other words, his family was the family of whom all the neighbors were jealous and the families one would see in the park, laughing and having a jolly good time. His was the type of family that I hated with every ounce of my being, the ones that gave me a disgusted feeling in the pit of my stomach and whom I scorned and ridiculed in my head.

But this was different somehow. I usually laughed at those families and sneered at their familial traditions, the cozy habits of decorating Christmas trees and getting real presents and whatever those types of families did. Yet, when I watched Tai interact with his mother and sister, I did not feel disgusted nor was I overcome with the sudden violent urge to throw up or gag with the sugary sweetness of it all. No, I merely felt something stir in the pit of my stomach, an emotion I hadn't felt before and did not recognize.

It was only lying in bed hours later that I realized what I was feeling. Immersed as I was in my comparisons to Tai's life and mine, I realized what that feeling was. The feeling I hated with so much passion and tried so hard to suppress: envy. I was envious of Taichi.

A/N: Well, that's it, I suppose. Let me know what you think! I'll have the next chappie up soon… and don't worry… the angst is just beginning!


	3. A Growing Anxiety Taichi

Disclaimer: not mine. not making money off this.

"Argh!" I pounded the floor in frustration. My legs had collapsed under me for the hundredth time and despite Yamato's assurances, I did not seem to be making any progress. "God DAMMIT!" I crawled to the bar installed in the wall of the room we were using and attempted to raise myself up.

"Whoa, easy, Tai. This is going to take some time, I told you that, remember? Just calm down." He smiled and gently pried my fingers from the cold metal, catching me around the waist before I fell yet again. "You won't get anywhere if you get frustrated."

"Shut up." I looked away, feeling my face getting red. I HATED my dependency on him and the wheelchair given to me by the hospital. I hated the fact that my own body seemed to be working against me. I wanted so badly to walk, just stand up and walk but my goddamn legs wouldn't hold up my weight. "I hate this."

"This is only our third session, Tai. It would have been a miracle if you'd been able walk, not to mention, stand. It's not abnormal or a sign of weakness or anything like that." He set me on the floor so my back was leaning against the wall and sat down next to me. "Don't worry about it."

"I know, I know. You've spoon-fed me this shit ever since you met me." I looked him in the eye, something I found that I had trouble doing. "It's just that—my father won't even acknowledge me now. Not that he ever did but this is different. It's as if he thinks that, by ignoring me, he can pretend that this is just a bad dream and that I'm dead and gone, end of story, not alive and useless to him in a wheelchair, eating his food and wasting his money." I didn't even try to hide the bitterness in my voice. "His precious money." I lapsed into a brooding silence, thinking of the horrible things my father had said and done since I had returned home. The barely controlled disgust with which he addressed me was depressing but the way his eyes skipped past me every time I said something and the way he completely ignored my words was even worse.

"Well, that's it for today." Yamato rose suddenly, startling me out of my reverie. "Here, let me help you." Before I could do anything, he had put his arms under me and scooped me up.

"The FUCK!" I yelped and instinctively began flailing my arms, hitting him once or twice with my fist or elbow. This did not perturb him; he carried me, still struggling, to my wheelchair where he dropped me. "NO. We can't end yet. I'm not even tired. Look, I didn't even break a sweat. Come on, Yamato, come OOON."

"Sorry. No can do. I have something planned for today so our session has to end now," he said, cheerfully, smirking down at me. I glared. Damn him to hell. If it weren't for this stupid semi-paralysis shit, I would already have tackled him and given him a good punch to that pretty little face. Then again, if I WASN'T paralyzed, I wouldn't have any reason for knowing him and so, would not be in the predicament of wanting to punch him. Still, as he smiled down at me, I was overcome with the urge to get my hands around his throat and squeeze.

"You're supposed to be my therapist, damn you! You're supposed to put YOUR life on hold until I can wa—HEY! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!" I roared furiously, bringing my hands up to tear off the blindfold he had just placed around my eyes and throw my best glare at him.

"No, stop Tai, please?" He caught my wrists, arresting any movement on my part and I could feel his imploring gaze. "It's a surprise and I don't want you to know anything until we get there." I grumbled but desisted struggling, though I couldn't help it when he lifted off the t-shirt I was wearing.

"Isn't there a law against this?" I hissed through gritted teeth, rocking my body back and forth in the chair.

"Relax, will you?" he cried out, "I'm not doing anything to you. I just need to help you change your shirt as your present attire is not suitable. It's just your shirt, okay? Now lift your arms." Helpless and knowing full well that the stubborn son of a bitch would find a way to get the damn shirt on me whatever I tried, I did as I was told, sticking out my tongue at him in a futile gesture at defiance. He only chuckled.

"Quit being such a baby, Tai. It's not becoming in a fully grown young man like you."

"I am NOT a baby," I muttered, "you are." He laughed and I could imagine him shaking his head at me. He didn't reply and instead, I heard the rustling of a paper bag and felt him slide another shirt on me. It felt familiar but I couldn't quite place when I had felt it before.

"Now, if you're done pouting, I'm going to take you out on a little field trip. How would you like that?" The falsely cheery voice he was using was the same voice I remembered my kindergarten teacher talking to me. I scowled unhappily but getting out for a bit, even with the stupid bastard, was highly appealing.

"Yeah, yeah," I finally mumbled and he began to roll me away from the air-conditioned room into the sun. I heard him hail a cab and when it stopped, he helped me inside, along with my wheelchair. I could hear him whispering our destination to the driver but couldn't make out a single word that he said. When the half-hour drive was over, he pulled me out, paid the driver and wheeled me down an uneven path.

I could hear the sounds of cheering, the rustling of trees, and exciting shouting of young children. There was a faint scent of grass, moist dirt, and barbecue in the air and all of a sudden, I was struck with the notion that Yamato had brought me to a park. Presently, we stopped and here, the cheering was even louder.

"Ta-da!" He pulled off the blindfold with a flourish and as my eyes adjusted to the sudden light, I saw that we were indeed at a park. More specifically, we were at a grassy field with white lines painted on the grass and I realized we were at a football field. I looked up and in front of me was a group of people, wearing red and white jerseys, black shorts, and red socks pulled over bulky shin guards. They smiled at me and my mouth dropped open. My teammates were all there, people I hadn't seen for months. My shock gave way to ecstasy as my best friend and co-captain, Sora, raced over.

"Hi Taichi," she smiled, "good to see you." Her bright eyes skipped over the scar that ran from my right temple to my right ear, a lasting and visible testament to my near death experience. "How've you been? When can you play again? We need you."

"I dunno." I dodged the question and felt Yamato throw me a sharp look. An awkward silence descended upon us and Sora fidgeted.

"Well, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend here? How rude of you, Taichi." Despite the light tone of her voice, I knew she was only trying to change the subject to alleviate my discomfort and I was grateful.

"Him? He's Ishida Yamato." At the sound of his name, he looked up and smiled.

"Hello," he said, bowing his head.

"Oh, yes. I'm Sora," she replied. "Pleased to meet you, Ishida-san." I watched her closely and could see the color rising in her cheeks. She brought a hand to her ear and tucked an invisible strand of auburn hair behind it. Her toe ground into the dirt and her brown eyes darted everywhere but at Yamato's face. For the first time since I had known her, I was seeing her acting differently around a boy.

"Ooh. So-ra's got a cru-ush!" I teased happily in a sing-song tone. She turned a deep red and glared at me.

"Shut it, Taichi. I do not!" Her voice rose in pitch, making her statement completely unbelievable. Yamato's expression didn't change but I could see a smile twitching on his lips. "You are SUCH a bug, Tai!"

"Hey, Sora! Quit flirting with your boyfriend and get over here already! The match's about to start!" Kiro, our goalie, called out. She spun on her heel, digging up the grass with her cleats.

"I am not flirting!" she screeched at his direction but the rest of the guys just laughed.

"If you're not flirting then I'm the queen of England." Someone else called out.

"Guess I'd better go. See you, Taichi. Bye Yamato. You guys want to join us after the match?" I looked at Yamato and he nodded, causing Sora to beam. "Great! Well, just hang around, I guess. It's always nice to have some,"

"SORA!" Kiro yelled frantically. "Get your bum over here right now!" she jumped and jogged onto the field just as the whistle blew for play to begin. The opposing team immediately took control of the ball and began to dribble towards our goalie.

As the ball moved down the field and back again, I watched intently, staring hard so the feeling of crying would go away. Football was my life and the mere fact that I was physically unable to play was tearing at my guts. I had been injured numerous times before and forced to sit out but this was different. At least, with a sprained ankle or twisted knee, I knew that, as I sat at the sidelines, I would be playing in a matter of weeks. Now, there was no chance I would ever have of being out there again. A hand rested on my shoulder and a shadow blocked the wane winter light.

"Hey. So? What'd you think?" Yamato asked, kneeling in front of me with a hopeful smile on his face. I shook my head, still watching my teammates dribbling the ball away from our goalie. "Oh. Sorry if I offended you somehow."

"No, no. It's not that, Yamato. I mean, thanks. A lot. I really appreciate it. It's just that," I struggled to find the right words to convey all the emotions that were currently churning in my stomach.

"I just thought you'd like to see your friends, is all. I mean, seeing as they haven't been able to visit you at the hospital."

"Don't you mean, they just haven't bothered?" I mumbled resentfully, staring at my feet.

"What did you say?" Yamato's grip tightened on my shoulder. "Look, Tai, your friends came around every day for two weeks, asking if they could see you. The doctors told them they weren't allowed since you were hooked up to so many machines that were keeping you alive, they were afraid something might happen and you'd be hurt even more. When you woke up, your friends came by again but—er—your emotional state was deemed—unhealthy and, since you'd taken to chucking things at anyone who walked through the door, they felt it better that your mates not see you like that."

I didn't remember that. It seemed as if a chunk of time had vanished, leaving an empty space in my memories. The days from when I was told that I was partially paralyzed to the time I was released from the hospital and well enough to begin physical therapy was a big blur that was dark and black and forbidding. When I wheeled through the door to the place where I had grown up, I felt as if I had woken up from a dream. I began to wish that I couldn't remember what went on after that. My father did not take kindly to the fact that I was useless, that I had to depend on a metal chair on wheels to move. He was always tense, always too formal when I was around and, even when I addressed him directly, ignored my presence.

"Taichi! Taichi, we won!" Sora threw her arms around my neck, practically choking the life out of me. "Oh my God, we won!" She released me and did a little dance of victory, her face a picture of utter ecstasy. I laughed and congratulated her. "You CAN come with us afterwards, right? We're celebrating."

"Don't worry about it, Sora." Yamato assured her and she beamed. Following her and the rest of my somewhat shocked teammates, he wheeled me out to the parking lot. "You DO want to go, right, Tai?" I nodded, sharing in the excitement of my friends.

"Hurry up, guys. We're about to leave." Sora shouted from the door to a bus-like vehicle. When he reached the van, he scooped me out and placed me in the seat closest to the door. Everyone became silent as Yamato folded the wheelchair and climbed in, sitting in the center seat. The ride was silent as we were transported to the clubhouse which sponsored our team and provided showers to us after games. The van pulled into its designated parking space and everyone clambered out, everyone but me and Yamato.

"What's wrong?" he asked, sensing my disquiet. I leaned my head back against the seat and sighed.

"I want to be normal again. I want to be like everyone else. I wish this had never happened." I sighed again. "You said I threw stuff at people who walked into my room. Did I do that to my mom and Kari?"

"No. They were kept away also." I nodded, glad that I hadn't been able to do anything to hurt them. "The nurses who were allowed into your room were the ones who were especially adept at ducking. And they only entered to check up on you. Aside from them, I was the only one you saw during that period of time."

"Did I throw things at you?"

"Nope. You just went silent and stared out the window." I wondered why but didn't voice the question aloud. When I didn't say anything else, he took that to mean that I wasn't keen on continuing the conversation. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, he began to hum a song that I had never heard before. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye and watched him twiddling his thumbs. The weak sunlight shone through the windows and caught on the golden silk strands on his head, causing his hair to shine. Thinking back, I remembered our first session together, how he had insisted we ask each other questions for about ten minutes. I had asked if he had a girlfriend and he had smiled ruefully, shaking his head no. At the time, I hadn't thought anything of it. He had irritated me somewhat and I had chalked up his single status to the fact that no girl was willing to put up with his biting sarcasm. Looking at him carefully, though, I realized how illogical that seemed. He was the kind of guy who was wanted by every girl and envied by everyone else. Any girl in her right mind would put up with anything just to have the chance to be with him. Sora was the perfect example for my assumptions. She was suspicious and skeptical of any male who dared enter within her realm of existence. I had known her for as long as I could remember so she was fine with me but anyone else was treated with indifference and, more often than not, ignorance.

It wasn't that she hated males, really. No, it was more of the fact that she had a hard time trusting them. Her father had walked out on her when she was nine and, to this day, her face tightens when any mention of her father is made. Yet, I mused thoughtfully, with Yamato she seemed perfectly at ease. Or, not at ease at all. She went shy and giggly, blushing furiously and speaking in a high, breathy tone of voice I never thought I'd hear her use.

"It's nice, I suppose?" Yamato spoke up suddenly, looking out the window. "Having friends, I mean? Friends who give a shit?" This was a strange thing to say and I furrowed my brow at him. His easy smile and kind blue eyes, not to mention, his aura of cool confidence, seemed to me the kind to attract all sorts of friends. He seemed to me the type who was always surrounded by a group of friends, all like him in the sense that the world did nothing to affect them, that they were untouchable by all that was distasteful and ugly. Basically, the type of people you hated.

"What's that?" Yamato jumped and turned to look at me with his mouth half-open, looking mildly surprised.

"Your friends. They—," he paused and looked out the front windshield and gestured with a thin hand, "they actually give a damn about you. About what YOU want. How YOU'RE feeling. Must be nice." I followed his gaze and heard the excited laughter of my team. When I turned back to Yamato, he had twisted his body away. The door slid open and the team, freshly showered and exuberant, clambered aboard. Before we knew it, we were on the road; this time towards the over-twenty-one club a few blocks away.

"Excited, Taichi?" Sora asked breathlessly, turning around in the front seat and peering past the headrest. "You haven't been yet. Bleedin' hell, it's amazing."

There was a long line winding down the block by the time we found a parking space and had unloaded the van. Kiro groaned loudly, exclaiming that by the time we got to the entrance, the club would be too full. Sora shook her head, smiling mysteriously and beckoned us, not to the tail-end of the line, but to the front.

"Hold it, miss. And where do you think YOU'RE going?" the massive security guard loomed over her, muscular arms crossed at his chest.

"Shut it, Tom." Sora giggled and flipped her hair back. "Let us in, yeah?" Tom's frown broke into a grin and he rolled his eyes affectionately at her.

"Fine, fine. Say hi to your mother for me." Ignoring the various shouts and catcalls coming from the line, we pushed our way in. Yamato and I were the last of our group and as we passed the disgruntled crowd, someone called out,

"Look, boys! We've got a helpless little girl being pushed by her fella! What's a _cripple_ going into a dance club for?" Half-concealed chuckles and rib-elbowing ensued.

"Ignore them, Taichi." Yamato whispered urgently and, with one last shove, we were in the club. Deafening music was being played from the gigantic speakers in the corners of the room and already, there was a mass of bodies undulating and moving with the beat.

"Great, isn't it?" Sora yelled. I could barely hear her over the music and we fought our way to a quieter place. "Drinks, anyone?" Yamato sat beside me, sliding down in the chair so his shoulder blades were resting above the back of the chair. After everyone had had at least one alcoholic drink, I watched as one by one, they disappeared into the mass of sweat and humanity. Sora was pulled away by Kiro and, eventually, it was just me and Yamato.

"You alright?" he asked, watching me closely with a piercing gaze. I looked over his shoulder and saw two girls nudging each other and eyeing him, giggling to each other. Without meaning to, I shook my head. I wasn't okay. I was humiliated. And despite what he might say about not caring what others said, what the idiots of the world said, I did care. "Look, Tai—," he began but I cut him off.

"Drop it, alrigh'?" I snapped, fidgeting with my hands. "I don't want to talk about it." He edged closer but fell silent. We sat in companionable silence, just watching everyone and taking in the sounds and smells of the club. "Hey, if you want to dance, I won't mind. I'm not being the best company, after all." I spoke up, noticing something increasingly restless in his posture. He only shook his head.

"I'm fine. Besides, if I left, you'd be alone. And as your therapist, I'm not supposed to leave you alone. It's my job and if anything happened to you while I was gone, I would be fired, not to mention receive a hefty lawsuit from your parents. Wouldn't want that, now would I?"

"Fine then, suit yourself." I was slightly disappointed with his answer. I didn't know why and I didn't know what I was expecting but I suppose I wanted to hear that he was choosing to sit beside me rather than feeling it his duty. _God, Tai. At least he's not actually leaving. And since when did you WANT something like that! _

A/N: Ugh. Ugly place to leave off, eh? It's just that I want to get on with the next chapter and finish with this one already. It's one of my longest, aren't you all proud of me? —smiles expectantly at readers— Okay, I'll try and get the next one up soon… I already have something in mind…


	4. Revelations Yamato

Disclaimer: MUST I do this every time? This is not mine.

Note: the time frame that I have chosen to use for Yamato's pre-med classes is unrealistic but -shrugs- I'm really too tired to care.

I was watching him out of the corner of my eye. There was something distinctly mournful about him and he was slouched in his wheelchair, his lips turned into a slight frown as he watched couples dancing on the dance floor. I chuckled silently, wondering what was so wonderful about a place where dancing was nothing more than sex above clothes. The carnal passions and raging hormones were enough to drive someone mad and pressed against another hard body, everything dissolved into a blur of lust, sweat, and heat. It wasn't all it was cracked up to be, sex with a complete stranger always turned into regret the next morning, waking up in an unfamiliar place, one that was most likely dirty and dingy.

In a haze of passion and the dark of night, surroundings became completely irrelevant and all you wanted was a hot mouth around you, hands frantically caressing your skin, someone's ability to make you scream. Once the morning light shone through, dreamland was turned into a filthy motel room with water-cracked walls and sticky sheets clinging to your legs. More often than not, you awoke with a raging headache and protesting muscles, woke up to a strange man who looked at you through drooping eyes, who leered at you and told you how absolutely _fucking hot_ you were last night, let's do it again sometime with absolutely no love in his voice. More often than not, your stomach heaved and saliva filled your throat and you had to wonder how you could have caved into your desires so easily.

You would promise yourself, vow that you would never do that again but next weekend, you found yourself in the same predicament. Hazy lights, alcohol-induced dreams, lying under hard muscles and rough skin, and then the regret that attacked the next morning; the cycle repeated endlessly.

It had been a while since I had last been to a club. It had been a while since my last rendezvous with a man whose name I didn't even know. I had sworn them off when a dancing partner went farther and faster than I would have liked, even once I begged him to slow down and stop. I was scared that night, scared like I'd never been before, waiting for him to fall asleep. The next morning, crying silently and stumbling from the effects of the previous night's alcohol, I limped from the room and dragged my aching body to a hospital to be tested for any sexually transmitted diseases I might have encountered in my late night cavorting after my pre-med classes. The mortification I endured, completely starkers under the thin paper gown, sitting on the rickety hospital bed, answering question after question about my sex life.

_How many partners had I had in the past year? Too many to count. _

_When did I become sexually active? Too young. _

_Where did I usually have sex? Anywhere I could. _

_Did I only have sex with men or did I sleep with women too? Both. Anyone who would fuck me. _

To see the doctor raise his eyebrows at my answers and look at me over the top of his clipboard and know what he was thinking was embarrassing but I was too tired, too hurt, too hungover to care. Once the exam was over, he stood and handed me some paper, smiling grimly. I glanced at it, noting that it was a pamphlet for a rehab center. I pocketed it without giving it much thought. The nurse at the desk smiled at me and told me that my results would come within a week. I didn't even acknowledge her, such was my haste in getting away from the hospital.

I was one of the lucky ones. Staring at the paper telling me that I tested negative for any STDs was a catharsis; I felt relieved and giddy, like a weight had been lifted off me. I knew that my chances of being completely clean were slim to none and I took that as a sign to focus instead on my studies. I read the pamphlet, called the toll free number, signed up. That rehab center saved my life, my career, my body from the destructive path I had chosen once Takeru died. I went away, completely clean, feeling that I could start fresh. Instead of trying to drown the pain, I used it to throw myself full throttle into my studies. I managed to pull up my grades and did not fail out of any of my classes. I was lucky, too lucky and I was determined not to waste my second chance. I was able to acquire a job as a physical therapist assistant and my ability to work with patients to produce end results even greater than previously expected so impressed the administration that I was able to gain the authority to work with patients alone, as an official therapist.

A cough beside me and the clunk of glass on wood reminded me that I had someone sitting next to me and awakening to reality, I turned to Tai to ask him a question I that would no doubt have royally pissed him off if my train of thought hadn't been interrupted.

"Hello Yamato." A breathy, feminine voice purred in my ear. I jumped and turned to meet a redhead so close to me that our lips almost touched. Bloody hell. That was close. I leaned back, away from her putrid, alcoholic breath.

"How'd you know my name?" I demanded, already knowing the answer and feeling my stomach twist as I thought about it.

"Silly. I'd know you anywhere. I was your biggest fan after all." Shit. My eyes widened and I stared at her. How did she recognize me after all those years? "You're still fa," I jumped up so suddenly, I knocked over my chair, startling both the unfamiliar girl and Tai.

"Look, you! I am not anymore! I don't CARE if you were a fan or whatever. I'm not like that anymore. Go away and leave me alone!" I was completely overreacting and the girl was looking at me like I was crazy.

"Oh come on. I think it's hot," she lowered her voice and suddenly, she was too close. The club was too hot. I couldn't breathe. The feeling that walls were closing in on me was all too familiar but one that I hadn't felt in a long time. I stared down at her, unable to move because of the other chairs and tables crowded around but when I felt a hand snaking up my thigh, I couldn't help it.

"Get away from me!" I cried, pushing her away and jumping back, bumping into a man carrying two drinks which spilled all over his shirt. Luckily, he was too drunk to care and only laughed. "Leave me the fuck alone!" She stared at me and then her facial expression became icy. She sneered at me in utter disgust and then stalked away, no doubt to prey on some other hapless soul. I picked up my chair and sat down, breathing hard. My hand was trembling as I reached for the glass of water in front of me, though I tried to keep it steady.

"Are you okay?" Taichi asked, watching me with liquid brown eyes. "What was all that about?"

"F-fine," I stammered. Dammit. Closing my eyes, I concentrated on steadying my heart rate. "I'm fine. It was nothing. Just—some drunk girl, I guess."

"Sure? Because you don't _look_ okay," he sounded skeptical and I suddenly realized how he must feel when I constantly nagged him for an answer.

"Y-yeah. I'm perfectly alright." I flashed him a smile while not really seeing him. How had she known me? How had she recognized me after all those years? I swallowed, still feeling shaky. More importantly, how had she managed to find me?

It had been years since I had experienced such a bold invasion of my privacy. It had been years since I had finally gotten sick of being groped in public, with having screaming girls attempt to rip my clothes off, just to have a "souvenir." Since I had uprooted Takeru from the city where he was born and hauled both our asses to a town where no one knew my name, where there was not a single person who cared what Ishida Yamato did with his life, I had become invisible. I was just another nameless, faceless person living among the other average joes. And, fuck, I was happy with being a nameless, faceless, average joe.

Of course, I never did manage to escape the public eye. Takeru was always so jealous of me, I remembered, smiling. He complained endlessly about my "fan club" as he had dubbed the girls who followed me around at our school. When I teased him about the fact that the closest he ever got to a girl was just a platonic friendship, he would glare venomously at me and refuse to speak to me for however long he could stand the silence. The last time we talked about girls was a bit before he was diagnosed with cancer. He had come home that day looking upset, not at all like his usual self. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was to flash me the middle finger and slam his bedroom door shut in my face.

_Flashback_

_ "Come on, Takeru!" I shout through the door. "You can't hide in there FOREVER!"_

_ "Yes, I can! Leave me alone, will you! I don't wanna talk about it!" he screams back and I distinctly hear him sniffle._

_ "Okay, okay, I'll go away now. But I know you just got home from lacrosse practice and haven't had anything to eat. You'll starve in there."_

_ "No, I won't."_

_ "Okay then, you won't. Oh, just to let you know, I cleaned out your room. Seems there was a stash of junk food hidden under a loose floorboard in your room. It was attracting ants so I had to throw the lot away. See you tomorrow morning, Takeru." Smirking, I walk away, knowing full well that I have just won. As I am setting the dinner table for the two of us, with the wonderful aroma of food filling the apartment, I hear the cautious opening of his door._

_ "Onii-chan?" his face peeks out from around the corner and I know that he is wondering whether I will have a temper tantrum at him or if I will invite him to eat. I use a stern, brusque tone with him but there's a smile on my face that I can't stop from spreading across my face whenever I'm teasing him._

_ "Come on, baka, I figured you would be joining me eventually. Hurry up while the food's still hot." We sit at the dinner table and begin to eat. He puts down his fork and I look up, waiting for him to say something. He stabs at his food, pushing the contents around on his plate. The result is a disgusting mixture of food that not even a pig would eat but still, I say nothing. When talking about something personal about his life, he must always be the one to say something or else he won't say a word at all._

_ "How come—how come you ALWAYS get the girls?" he bursts out eventually. I refrain from laughing, since he looks dead serious. It's been awhile since we've talked like this. He's usually really happy, too happy sometimes so it's a rare occasion when he's this sulky._

_ "What makes you say that?" _

_ "I like this girl—only, she's too busy obsessing about you to even glance at me. And the only time she ever notices me is when she's asking me for something." He stabs angrily at his food. "She's smart and funny and, well, she's really pretty too but she's in love with you. I don't understand it. She doesn't know you. She doesn't know that you like to burp and fart and that you snore in your sleep. She doesn't even know what you're like and she's in love with you. I don't get it." I make a face and stick my tongue at him.  
"Oh, Tk," I laugh, using an old nickname, "I don't understand it either. I'm not worth it, especially since I don't plan to be with any of those girls in the first place. Go up to her, initiate a conversation, tell her about yourself. Ask her to the movies or to the mall or something. Of course, I forbid you to tell her that I'm your older brother." He nods thoughtfully and we finish the meal with relaxed conversation._

_ End Flashback_

That was the last time we ever mentioned girls. He came home the next day and, just by looking at his facial expression, I knew that he had taken my advice and had been completely rejected. After that, all thought of the female gender was pushed to the back burner in light of his tumor.

"Yamato? Yamato!" Something cold and wet hit the side of my face. "Jesus Christ, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"What!" I snapped back, wiping the wet spot the ice cube had left.

"I've been calling you for the past two minutes. Where did you go?" He rolled his eyes. "Anyways, it's getting pretty late. Think we should round up the gang?" I sighed and stood, a bit unwillingly.

"I suppose we should. They could be anywhere." I gripped the handles of his wheelchair and we made our way through the throngs of people that only seemed to grow as the hour grew later. It took much time and many apologies for crushed toes under Tai's wheelchair but we managed to gather up most of his team. Pretty soon, everyone was present and accounted for save for two.

"Damn those idiots!" Sora muttered bitterly after an hour's search. "I refuse to go back into that crowd." She scowled at the table and picked at a chip in the paint with her nail. She had been all alone when we found her, leaning against a wall with her shoulders hunched almost to her ears. Spotting us, she had hurried over, a look of utter relief dawning on her expression. Now, she was sitting at a table with me and Taichi, while the other boys were grouped around us, two or four boys to each table.

"What's up?" Tai asked, leaning closer to her. "What happened?" She looked at him with tired eyes and suddenly, her head dropped forward and fell onto his shoulder. He put an arm around her and pulled her towards him.

"Why do boys have to be so fucking STUPID?" she muttered into his shirt and he smiled tenderly into her hair. Sensing that the two would want to be left alone, I excused myself. Wandering aimlessly, I found a door marked "Private Entry" and, curious, pushed it open. It led to another hallway comprised of doors, all of which were closed. On the doorknobs of some were signs which read "Do Not Disturb." There were sounds coming from the doors with signs and I edged closer to one, already sensing what it was. Sure enough, getting closer, there was the unmistakable sound of moaning. I blushed deeply, guessing what was going on behind the door, and hurried back to the group.

"Where'd you go, eh?" Kiro looked up as I approached.

"I…think…I might have…found where the others…were." I panted. Everyone leaned in closer and, still trying to catch my breath, I pointed in the general direction of the hallway I had just visited.

"So? Show us." At their urgings, I stood and reluctantly lead the way. Their eyes got wide as they looked around at the many doors before us.

"Dammit. How're we going to find them?" Taichi cursed and I shrugged my shoulders.

"Guess we'll just knock on all of them until we find them." Kiro boldly knocked on one.

"What the fuck do you want!" two angry voices shouted, "Go the fuck away!" After our first few unsuccessful attempts, we decided to split up and began to call for our missing comrades.

Finally, we had checked all the doors and were grouped around the last one. No one seemed to want to knock so I stepped forward, feeling that the boys weren't worth the trouble and how much I just wanted to get home. I rapped on the door with my knuckles, almost hoping against hope that it was unoccupied. Unfortunately, my hope was for nothing as, apparently, the door hadn't been closed properly. It swung open to reveal two young men in the throes of wild passion.

"Jesus Bloody Christ!" one of them yelped as the other scrambled to cover himself. I stared, frozen, at Tai's teammates…

"What the fuck!" Tai's incredulous voice broke through my shock. I looked at him; his mouth was hanging open and his eyes are wide.

"Uh, hey there, Tai." The one who had shouted out before laughed nervously and raised a hand in greeting. He had reddish-hair and big, innocent eyes which were darting uncomfortably from one shocked face to another.

"Godammit, Dai." Tai sounded disgusted. "If you're going to fuck someone, at least do it someplace sanitary. Who knows who's been here before? You're mother'd kill me if she knew what you were doing, you know that?" Daisuke hung his head meekly and nodded.

"And you!" he turned on the other one. "Kevin, what the hell are you doing with this idiot over here?" He shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Get dressed, both of you. We're leaving." They obliged and pretty soon, we were on the road.

Tai was silent. I doubted that he had known about Daisuke or Kevin, since his voice sounded so surprised. Afterwards, he sounded playfully disgusted. I wasn't sure, however, if he had accepted them since his facial expression was stony and he was refusing to meet anyone's eyes. Once we stopped at the clubhouse and we were settled in my car, he began to talk.

"I had no idea he was gay. Daisuke, I mean. Kevin, I can kind of see it, but Dai? Shit. I had no idea."

"Do you have a problem with it?" I asked, looking at him out of the corner of my eye. I had come to terms with my bisexuality years ago but never got over my initial fear that anyone could come to hate me just because of that. He was silent for a minute, pondering, as he stared out the window at the lightening sky.

"I'm not really sure," he answered quietly. "My parents have always taught me that it was wrong and unnatural. They're—religious, I guess you could say. My dad thinks that someone's gay because they WANT to be, like they're rebelling against God's will or something. My mom disapproves of it, says it's immoral, but she doesn't really mind if someone she knows is gay."

"I see," I nodded, quite familiar with that way of thinking. My own father had held that being a homosexual was immoral. I had hid my sexuality from him, though it was hard, as he constantly asked me which girls I liked, who I was dating, things like that. I lied to him as best I could and even convinced one of my friends to pretend she was my girlfriend, just to make him happy. As a result, I was never able to tell him who I really was before he and my mother died in a plane crash.

"What about you?" Taichi asked suddenly.

"Me? I have no problem with it." _Yeah, because you're one of them._ "I say, just because they're different than everyone else doesn't give everyone else the right to discriminate against them." _Right.__ Too bad so few actually agree with you._

"That's true. But, don't you think it IS a bit unnatural?" I gripped the steering wheel tighter, not knowing how I was going to answer his question.

"It's different. Not unnatural." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him nod his head, looking thoughtful. Finally, we reached his apartment. I got him out and settled him into his wheelchair, then pushed him inside. Once at his door, I paused for a moment. "Look, Tai, being gay isn't something to be feared. It's not that big a deal. In fact, there might be many people out there who appear as normal as you but who, in fact, happen to be gay."

"Thanks, Yamato. For the whole thing. I really appreciate it." He knocked on the door and, when it opened, disappeared inside. I left as quickly as I could, shivering inside my skin.

"Well, that was without a doubt the tensest ride I have ever had," I said aloud in my car. I had no idea what to make of it. Tai sounded as if he agreed with his parents, that being gay was something bad. If he did, I wasn't sure what to do. If he did agree with his parents, he would want nothing to do with me and, much as I hated to admit it, I valued the time we spent together.

He was, to say the least, an interesting person to be with and I looked forward to our sessions, if not for his hilarious expressions as he concentrated, then his stubbornness and determination to walk again. I admired that he was so willful. _And intelligent too._I had realized, sometime since we had first met, that he wasn't your stereotypical jock. For some reason, I had always believed that athletes, especially football players, were big, dumb, and stupid since their heads got knocked around a lot. But Tai was different. He had a quirky sense of humor, somewhat different than mine, and he didn't think that sex jokes were the only thing in the world that deserved laughs. Occasionally, he brought homework to our sessions and I noticed that he had a good head for math, something that my own brain refused to process. He could do calculations at the speed of lightning and his ability to remember formulas was enviable. He enjoyed reading almost as much as I did, although, he admitted sheepishly, he hardly ever found the time to sit and relax with a good book. We quickly discovered that the both of us enjoyed reading books about other worlds, books like J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings and found ourselves one afternoon in the middle of a friendly debate about the symbolisms within the book.

I shook my head ruefully, knowing that, were he to find out about my sexual orientation, he would undoubtedly feel uncomfortable, if not disgusted or contemptuous.  
As I unlocked the door to my home, I mentally kicked myself in the ass. I had not felt such an affinity with anyone since Takeru had died. It wasn't that I was attracted to him but, in the short time that he had come into my life, I had come to see him as a friend and confidant. I had opened up to him about my brother's death, something I had never discussed with anyone before. It was stupid of me to become so comfortable with him so quickly and, that night, I swore that he wouldn't know of my bisexuality if I could help it. I wasn't going to lose another person in my life because of who I was.

A/N: I have been getting more and more time to write! Well, maybe that's just because it's a three day weekend, so I'm a bit more relaxed than I ought to be. Blowing off all my homework for now seems like a good idea but then again, my conscience is telling me that I should get a move on and begin. -sigh- oh well, I'll start in a while. This is my favorite chapter so far. But, that's just me.

Yes… I am a review junkie. Can't get enough of them. So, whether you liked this or not, feel free to tell me! REVIEW!

Oh, and I absolutely love Lord of the Rings though it took me a shitload of time to finish all of them. Such great books.


	5. Discomfort Taichi

Disclaimer: chants not mine. not mine. not mine.

Three a.m. I really should get to sleep. But all I could do was lie in bed and stare at the ceiling. The shadows were making strange shapes as they flitted to and fro above me and I couldn't help but try and make out what they were pretending to be. _Shit. I really should get to sleep. Just close your eyes, Tai. That's it. Close your eyes._

They snapped open, unwilling to close, my brain unwilling to allow itself to relax and sink into the peaceful darkness of slumber.

Four thirty a.m. I had tried everything, from counting sheep to getting out of bed and rolling myself into the kitchen for a warm glass of milk. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. It was hopeless. As I lay in bed, I resigned myself to the fact that I was not going to get any sleep whatsoever and that I would just have to make it through a day of lectures without a wink of rest. I kept going over that scene in my mind. I returned over and over to the moment in the club when my perceived thoughts about a boy, whom I thought I knew quite well, had crashed and caved in. I kept seeing it in my head.

_Dai was on top._

I shuddered. It was more than a little disgusting to witness something like that.

_Kevin was kneeling. His head was tilted back and his mouth was open. He was panting._

I wish I had never seen it. I wish I could erase the memory from my mind. I didn't need to think of Daisuke like that. After all, he was my little sister's best friend. I didn't need to see him fucking another boy every time I thought of his name. I don't know why I wasn't as surprised about Kevin. He was one of our best players, after Sora and me, but there had always been something about him that was a bit _off_. I had never thought he would be gay, though. A smirk quirked on my lips and I thought how ironic it was that he and Daisuke were lovers. If they were lovers. If the whole thing hadn't just been a drunken debauchery. Ironic that they were together, in that sense, as Daisuke had initially loathed the other boy. They fought like cats and dogs outside of practice and off the field. They HATED each other. Guess there really was a fine line between hate and love. Maybe their hatred was just a show. Maybe they had just been trying to keep it low.

I groaned. _Ok Tai, getting a bit worked up about this, don't you think? _But was I, really? The whole thing was screwed. Literally.

_Daisuke had both arms around Kevin's waist. One hand was splayed on his stomach. The other one…_

_ Stop it, Tai. Stop thinking about it. Leave it. You don't need to be thinking about it. Think of something else._

So I did. My mind wandered to my conversation with Yamato, in the car. I asked him what he thought about the whole thing and he answered in a way my dad would've spit on. But I guess, to a certain degree, I agreed with him. If my father knew about Dai, he'd forbid me to ever have any contact with him again.

It was weird to think of Daisuke as gay and the scene in the nightclub was just gross. But then again, there was something that was actually a bit—and here, I blushed to even be _thinking_ this way—beautiful about it all.

_Wow, Tai. Since when did you become a woman?_

Honestly, though, it must be hard to be someone whom most of society disapproved. Dai and Kev, well, they were willing to do something that intimate in such a private place, which was risking exposure, quite obviously. It could have just been a one-night stand with each using the other equally. But, I saw the way they said their good nights and there was nothing platonic. Nothing at all. This, again, brought up the question of how I had so abysmally failed to notice the way the two of them behaved with each other.

_Their foreheads touched. Dai was taller. When Kevin walked away into his apartment, Dai had a smile on his face. A gentle, peaceful smile._

So maybe they really were lovers after all. I turned over in bed. It was too hot in here. I really should try and fall asleep. But I was too wound up. Finally giving up, I began to get ready for school.

Five thirty. My father came out of the bathroom, freshly shaven and washed. He saw me sitting at the table, reading a book and snorted. Looking up, I gave him a tired smile which he ignored.

"Good morning, Dad," I said. There was no response. Since I didn't have any classes until the afternoon, I lounged around the house, watching cartoons. Deciding that I wasn't feeling up to going to classes, I called a friend and asked him to tape the lectures for me. At about two-thirty, the phone rang. I picked it up, being the only one in the house.

"I heard you weren't going to your classes today." Yamato's voice crackled over the line, punctured occasionally by bursts of static. I rolled my eyes.

"You sound like my mother," I grumbled to him, "but, no, I'm not. Don't really feel like it." He paused and, in the background, I could hear the sounds of traffic.

"Well, I was thinking—would you like to do something? I mean, it's really a pity that you stay home all day long doing absolutely nothing." He sounded pensive about the suggestion but I was grateful.

"Sure. I'm ready so you can come get me anytime. And how did you know about my skiving classes?"

"I have my ways. Besides, your friend is an acquaintance of mine and we were having a friendly debate about some such topics when you contacted him. I don't have anything today, my professor is sick and the school was unable to find a substitute. I just figured, if I was going to be bored, I might as well have company. I'll be there in a half-hour. See you then." He hung up and the line went dead. So we were going to do something and I wondered vaguely if he had something planned. I shrugged, it didn't really matter. His company was welcomed and, at least, the loneliness that plagued me evaporated somewhat while I was with him.

I regarded him as my friend since I had come to meet him but then again, as Kari liked to joke, I was friends with half of Odaiba. She was a little more cautious with who she spent her time with as did Yamato. I smirked; he should have lots of friends but thinking back, he also seemed to be quite aloof as well. Unbidden, a comment he had posed flashed through my mind. _'They actually give a damn about you. About what YOU want. How YOU'RE feeling. Must be nice.'_ It was a strange statement to say the least, surely he had had friends who cared. I had thought him to be a bit of a "pretty boy" at first, marveling that someone with his looks would want to be anything other than a model or actor or singer. As we began to talk, he revealed himself to be someone who was quite different than his outward appearance. His face was innocent and his handsomeness was simple enough but his personality was multi-faceted. He could be calm and aloof one moment then caustic and bitter the next. I had learned, somehow in the short time I had known him, that, pushed too hard, he closed off completely.

_Flashback_

_ "So tell me about yourself, Tai," he asks lazily, sitting on the floor beside my wheelchair. He has just deemed our training finished but we still have another hour or so left. He leans against the wall and wraps his arms around his knees._

_ "No. Tell me about YOU." I snap, in no mood to tell him about my life. He looks up at me with his clear blue eyes and smiles._

_ "Ok, then. My name is Ishida Yamato. I am 6 feet tall and I warrant that you're a good two inches taller than I am. My brother died of cancer, as I'm sure you know. When I was sixteen, I ran away from home with my brother."_

_ "Why?" I ask. He jumps to his feet, eyes darkening to an indigo hue. With one word, I am able to anger him but I don't now the cause._

_ "That is not for you to know, Taichi," he answers coldly. All good humor that was in his face moments before has vanished and his features are accentuated in his anger. He towers above me and I am surprised at his vehemence._

_ "Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you." I shrug my shoulders. He sighs and sits back down. We remain quiet for the rest of the session and he doesn't say a word when my mother comes to pick me up._

_ End Flashback_

I shook my head. His biting wit and sarcastic remarks were only a part of his personality. Sometimes, I found myself wondering if he had Multiple Personality Disorder but I didn't think so. It was just that he could go from laughing to bitter in a split second. He was cold at times, his eyes two chips of hard ocean blue ice and his face would become rigid. I angered him once and he fixed that piercing gaze at me, two diamond drills boring into my head. It was times like those that I thought him capable of murder.

When he came to pick me up, the day was sunny and he was in a good mood. As he pushed me through the building, he chatted happily about the weather, his classes, and the girls that mobbed him.

"So Tai, where to?" he asked cheerfully. I shrugged my shoulders, having no idea, and he answered for me. "Park it is then. Mind if we walk?"

"No, since you're the one doing all the walking," I replied, laughing. He looked at me with a sheepish expression. As we set off, I tilted my head back with my eyes closed and relished the feeling of the sun hitting my face. I always loved being outdoors and my mom constantly nagged me about getting so dark during the summer.

"I'll show you someplace, 'kay, Tai? It's a secret so you can't show anyone what I'm about to show you." He threw me a look so unforgiving that I could do nothing but gulp and nod. At my reassurance, his face brightened once more and he quickened his pace. He pushed me to a tangle of trees and then paused, looking from my wheelchair to the little forest. Maneuvering me carefully, he managed to wheel me into a small clearing, just barely large enough to fit him and me. The trees blocked out most of the sunlight and what filtered through left spots of sunlight in the shadowy glen. He sat on the floor and leaned against a tree, smiling contentedly. His hair shimmered, as iridescent as his personality and the color of his eyes. Everything about him was fluid, changing with the slightest movement or provocation.

"Where are we?" I tensed when Yamato placed his arms around my waist and lowered me from the chair onto the ground. He arranged my legs straight out in front of me and made sure I was comfortable before he sat down himself.

"This is mine, Taichi. This little place is mine. I found it and no one else knows about it. I love it here. It's so quiet and beautiful and, best of all, no one can find me here. I don't think I've ever shown anyone where this is, save for Takeru. And you, of course."

"Why are you here?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me. He had mentioned to me that he was not native of Odaiba and that he had moved here from somewhere else. "What makes you stay here? Why move HERE?"

"Here, in Odaiba?" he leaned back on the grass and stared at the ceiling of emerald leaves, arms under his head. "I like it here. I like that it's someplace quiet, average. It's peaceful." I stared at him.

All my life I had wanted to get away. All my life I had longed to be in a city, a real city where the shopkeepers hadn't seen me grow up and didn't act like they were part of my family. I wanted to live in a place where I was anonymous and a big city was just the thing. There, I could get away from my father, from his critical eye and his silent judgments. But maybe Yamato was just running from something; the memories of his past, perhaps. Maybe that's why he liked it here. Because he grew up someplace else, everything with association to whatever it was that was so horrible was left behind.

"Is something wrong?" he piped up, giving me a strange look. I shook my head.

"Yamato, what are your parents like?" The question slipped out before I could stop it and he sat up sharply, eyes narrowing.

"What makes you ask that?" he hissed.

"Well, you've told me all about your brother, how you found out he was sick, what he was like before but you haven't said anything about your parents."

"You want to know? Fine. My parents were workaholics who didn't give a shit about me or my brother. I raised myself and my brother since I was old enough to think. They owned an affluent company in the city we lived before and were always gone for business trips. When they were home, they argued so fiercely, I think my mom got quite a few black eyes as a result. When they paid attention, it was to reprimand me and Takeru for being stupid, worthless kids who didn't know shit. At the dinner table, they ate quickly, usually talking on their own cell phones to different people. They forbade us to look them in the eye because we weren't worthy of that. My dad liked to drink. I remember he got drunk once and my mother got on his case. He slapped her and called her a stupid whore who couldn't keep her legs closed. Needless to say, she was so angry that she took off for the office. He watched her go and had a tantrum. I tried to calm him down but he got even madder and threw me against the wall. I woke up the next day with my face in a pool of blood. He cleaned it off my face and my hair and took me to the hospital, told me I'd tripped and hit my head against a table." He was quiet. "That was my adolescence. That was what I dealt with when I was younger. THAT'S why I left home and took my brother with me."

"Wow. I'm—I didn't know. I'm sorry."

"What about you, Tai? You never want to talk about your family. You say you love them, or at least you act like you do and yet, you can't wait to get away from them."

"My sister and I are really close. We're not very far apart, age-wise, and she knows when I need company and when I just want to be left alone. We have our fights and she's really stubborn. Once you get her going, she won't stop until you give in and admit that she's right. The sad thing is, she IS right most of the time." I laughed sheepishly. "Mom's mom, I guess. She does her best but I don't think she really understands me."

"What do you mean?"

"I've always wanted to play professional football. It's been a dream of mine since—oh, I dunno, before I could get a comprehensible sentence out of my mouth. But my mom wants me to be a doctor or a lawyer or something like that. I can't tell you how many times I've argued with her that football's my passion. I don't want to be a doctor or a lawyer or a corporate businessman. I want to be a football player. But no matter how many times I've told her, she just doesn't understand."

"Moms are like that. Well, the mothers on television are, at least. I wouldn't know." Yamato shrugged carelessly but, as I watched him, I couldn't help but feel as if he was hiding his true feelings. Then again, so was I.

"I used to wish that she would just leave me alone. Just leave me the fuck alone. Guess fate took care of that for me." I looked down at my legs, lying useless in front of me. "I'll never be able to play professionally now. Maybe this is all for the best. Yeah, maybe I can use this and follow a different path of life." I sounded stupid, even to myself.

"Shut up, Tai. Don't give up now. Don't. That's the worst thing you can do and you'll regret it for the rest of your life. I would know." Yamato's eyes were bright as he glared at me. "Don't you make the same mistake so many of us make. Don't tell yourself you can't do it. Who knows? Maybe someday I'll turn on the telly and you'll be there, smiling into the camera, sweaty and dirty from playing so hard."

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't place any bets on that."

"Tai." Yamato pinned me with his gaze and I couldn't help but stare back. "Tai, if you give up those dreams now, there won't be any point in continuing our therapy sessions. I don't know about you, but I would hate to have that happen. Oh, and you really should get moving and start going back to your classes. Everyone misses you."

I shrugged noncommittally, "I guess I'll go tomorrow. I didn't get any sleep and I didn't want my first day back to be one where I was the living equivalent of a zombie."

"Our classes start at the same time, yeah? I'll pick you up on my way." Yamato stood, brushing himself off. "It's getting late. I should be getting you home." In the car, he was relaxed, more relaxed than I had ever seen him before. It just so happened that we liked the same type of music so I wasn't afraid to turn up the radio and sing along. He joined in and I fell silent, listening to his clear, smooth voice. He was good, really good, and I wondered why he hadn't chosen to sing professionally. Not knowing if the question was an off-limit topic, I decided to keep quiet and let him reveal that himself.

Once the elevator opened, I could hear the sounds of enraged shouting and glass breaking. The knowledge that it was coming from my apartment made my heart sink and I covered my face in my hands. Yamato whistled softly, "Brings back old memories." It was not going to be a good night.

A/N: Okay, I'm going to leave it there. Tell me what you think, I live for reviews! My updates are probably going to be longer and longer in between since I have all this stuff going on: drama, history (we have a huge project due soon), English (we're always doing something big), and etc. It sucks but that's life, I guess.


	6. An Uncomfortable Night Yamato

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon.

I could feel Tai tensing as we got off the elevator. I didn't know why, at first, but I soon realized that there was a great deal of noise coming from one of the apartments. Ahh. So that was his apartment. Oddly enough, the sounds reminded me of the time back when I was still at home. When I would get off the bus from school, I would strain my ears to hear if all was well or if I should turn and walk down the block to the park for a few hours. I was reluctant to bring him to his door, knowing what was in store for him once he went through the threshold but, seeing as I shouldn't have the audacity to suggest he stay at my house for the night, I took him home.

"Look, Tai, if you need it, here's my number and address, okay?" I handed him a card with the information and he took it with a look of grateful apprehension. "Well, see you tomorrow morning," I forced a jaunty smile and walked away, although it was against my better judgment. I was worried for him. If his parents were anything like mine, he was in for a rough night, physically if not mentally.

At home, I went through my usual routine but it was with half-hearted effort. All of a sudden, I was plagued with memories which I had tried to keep tucked away in the back of my mind.

_Flashback_

_ "Stop it! Stop struggling, you little cretin! Stop, I say! Takeru!" Mother's voice slices through the air, shrill and piercing. She has one hand clamped firmly on Takeru's wrist though he's doing his best to wriggle away, whimpering as he does so. I watch from the shadows in the hall, hesitant to interfere since Mother's in one of her vindictive moods, but unwilling to leave my brother in her clutches. He looks so small compared to her and the position his arm is twisted looks painful. She's snarling now, even angrier than she was a minute ago. "Do as I say, Takeru." Her voice, a warning, is now low and dangerous. _

_Takeru__ refuses to listen, his body straining in the opposite direction of where Mother wants him to go. I don't know why he's being like this, he knows better, especially since Mother's been in a bad mood lately. Then I see that he's wearing his "special uniform." The one he wears when he has to visit other relatives. He's terrified of them for reasons to which I am not privy. Every time he sees the robe coming his way, he runs and hides though I daresay that this time Mother was able to catch him before he locked himself in his closet._

_"I'll hit you! I will!" Mother's hand comes down and a loud smacking sound erupts. I clench my fists in anger. The right side of Takeru's face is the color of a boiled lobster and he's crying now, I can hear his whimpering just above Mother's shouting. "Do as I say!" She raises a hand again and—_

_End Flashback_

Knock knock- A sound echoed in my ears and I shook my head as if I'd just come up from under water. I stared at my hands and realized that they were shaking, the packet of tea clenched in one of them and the mug of hot water turning cold sat, forgotten, on the counter in front of me.

Knock knock- I glanced at the clock above the doorway and cursed. It was twelve midnight and I wondered who was calling at such a bloody hour? I flung open the door, ready to give the person on the other side a verbal beating. The sight of bushy brunette hair stopped me, however, and I was even more surprised.

"Tai? What—What are you doing here?" I asked, making an effort to close my mouth.

"Sorry, it's just that—you were the only person I could think of who would be awake right now." His voice sounded strange but I couldn't quite place the difference.

"Come in, come in." I opened the door wider and stepped back so he could wheel himself in, something which took him a bit of time. "Are you okay, Tai?" He looked up and I gasped. He was sporting a bloody nose and there was a gash above his right eye.

"Ah, shit. Okay, come on, let's get you cleaned up." In my agitation, I turned and headed straight to the bathroom, completely forgetting to wheel Tai ahead of me. He didn't follow me, however, and I went back out to the foyer, where he was sitting in his wheelchair, looking nervous and pained. "What's wrong? You haven't forgotten how to use your chair, have you?" He shook his head, clenching his jaw. "What happened? What's wrong, Taichi?"

"I can't. Wheel my chair. It hurts—a lot." I tilted my head to the side and studied him just a little bit closer. On closer inspection, he was holding himself too rigidly. His back was stick-straight and his head was down. It was then that I noticed that one of his arms was dangling at the side of his chair, bent at a funny angle.

"Taichi? Who did this to you?" When he didn't answer right away, I walked over quickly and ran my fingers over the arm, barely touching the skin. He yelped, then jumped, then yelped again, this time punctuating his cry of pain with a curse and a glare aimed at me. "It's broken, Tai. You've got to get to a hospital so it can be set."

"No. Please, don't." he protested quietly, with no real conviction.

"Tai. Taichi. Look at me. Please?" He made no move to do anything of the sort. "I'm getting you to a hospital whether you like it or not. That injury could be really serious and if it's not treated now, that arm could be permanently damaged. Now, we can do this the easy way, with you cooperating with me, or we can do it the hard way, with me bringing you in by force. Your choice." I waited for his decision and by the way the look of defeat passed quickly over his face, I knew that I'd won.

"Fine. But I'm not answering any questions," he mumbled and I wheeled him back out the door, careful not to bump his injured arm. As I walked him to the car, I chattered inanely. He was sullen, completely unlike anything I had seen from him so far.

At the hospital, we sat in the waiting area and I tried, once again, to pry a bit of information from him. I needed to know what had happened just so the doctor wouldn't be suspicious.

"Yagami Taichi, if you don't give me even a hint, I'm going to be forced to lie to the doctor and I refuse to do that," I hissed in his ear. He didn't even flinch and I groaned inwardly. _Well, Yamato, this is what YOU'RE like when YOU'RE in a bad mood._ "C'mon Tai, just a hint."

"I fell," he said, his voice flat. Satisfied, I nodded. It took a while, but Taichi was finally seen by a doctor. His arm was splintered by a medical student who flashed him bright smiles in the hopes that he would notice her. Given his current state, I figured he was more likely to strangle the poor girl than ask for her number. She left us when she was finished, telling us that Taichi would be fine if he didn't move the arm too much and that he should see his doctor within a few weeks.

"So Tai, I'll be the first one to sign it, okay?" I was trying my hardest to be cheerful, get him to smile but he wasn't taking the bait. It was in unspoken agreement that Taichi would divulge the night's events to me once we were alone and he had been given enough time to calm down.

"Hey, Yamato? Could I—could I stay at your place tonight? I-I-I know it's last minute notice and I'm sorry if I'm a burden or anything but--,"

"Tai, I would be glad to have you stay over. The house gets a bit lonely at night so I'd gladly welcome company." I gave him a smile to reassure him and a bit of the sparkle in his eyes returned. He seemed to be feeling better by the time we arrived at my home but I was still hesitant to question him. If he was anything like me, he would clamp up the moment he was pushed too far and that was the last thing I wanted to happen that night. Noticing that he was still wearing the same shirt from earlier, I asked if he wanted to freshen up and then warned him that he would have tell me what was going on.

"Well, okay, yeah, I guess I'd like that," he mumbled so I brought him to the bathroom and then looked sideways at him.

"Er, Tai? I suppose you'd rather use the bathtub, since you can't very well stand, right?"

"Must you remind me?" he snapped but nodded. "Yeah, I suppose." I filled the bathtub and then left him but not before I had made sure that there was a towel within his reach.

"You sure you can get in and out by yourself?" I asked, already knowing that he wouldn't let me help him. Sure enough, he just flipped me off so I closed the door and left him. Ten minutes later, he came out with a cloud of steam and a slightly more content expression. I waved him over from my position on the couch in front of the television and he slowly rolled over to join me. There wasn't much to watch on television in the early morning but I settled on something that looked vaguely interesting, just to give Taichi an excuse to be quiet until he was ready to talk.

"Sometimes my father gets really angry," he spoke up during a commercial that we'd already seen a million times. I muted the sound and turned to give him my full attention but he was staring intently at the television screen. "It was my fault. I-I got in his way. He'd had a bad day already and I didn't help because I rolled over his foot with my wheelchair. I guess that was just the last straw. It was my fault. I should have been watching where I was going."

"What'd he do to you, Taichi?"

"He called me a bastard and then he tipped the chair over. I tried to get out of the way but I wasn't fast enough. He jumped on my arm, as punishment for hurting his foot. I was just too slow. It wouldn't have been broken if I had been a bit faster."

"Tai--,"

"It was all my fault. I'm always messing up around him. I'M the one that makes him angry. He was arguing with Mom about me before I got home. It's all—," his voice hitched horribly and he gulped to keep his voice from cracking, "my fault." I scooted over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Tai, it was an accident that you rolled over his foot. It's not your fault. These things happen. Why are you blaming yourself?"

"Yamato, he would have killed me tonight if Mom hadn't distracted him," he looked up at the ceiling, biting his lip in an effort to keep from crying. "It's hard enough to know that I can't walk and that I can't play football. But it's even harder to know that my father hates me for it. Mom's been getting hell from him and Kari's worried that he might try and off me in the middle of the night. I'm useless to him now, so he doesn't want anything to do with me. Before, I could have been a famous football player, someone he'd be proud to say was his son. Now, I'm a wound to his good name, his fortune. I'm the leper you see on the streets and avoid." He looked at me then, desperation in his eyes. "I just want to make him proud of me. Just for once to have him look at me and tell me that I did a good job. To call me son. HIS son."

"But you don't need that confirmation. You shouldn't need it, Tai. So what if you can't be a famous and make loads of money? You're alive and that's all that should matter." I put my arm around him and he leaned his head on my shoulder, which took me by surprise.

"I just wish I didn't need his approval. It's sick the way I always look to him to see what his reaction is."

"It'll be okay. You'll see." I pulled him closer and he hid his face in my shirt. "It's okay to cry, Taichi. I won't think any less of you if you do." And he didn't hold it in any longer. I held him, whispering into his ear and rubbing circles in his back. As we sat there, I could feel him trembling against me, muscles stretched taut from pent up fear and anger. His fists and my shirt muffled his sobs but his whole body shook with their force.

It was a while before he quieted and until then, I sat still, allowing him to let everything out in the open. His breathing evened out though he hiccupped occasionally and pretty soon, I looked down to discover that he was asleep. Figuring that he would rather sleep on a bed than on the couch, I picked him up with one arm supporting his back and the other positioned under his knees. His head lolled against my neck and I could feel his breath tickling my skin. When I stood up, I staggered under his weight and wondered briefly if I would be able to carry him all the way to the bedroom. Once I had started moving, however, I found that he wasn't as heavy as I had initially expected. I lay him on the bed and started to extricate myself from his grasp but he whimpered, tightening his grip around my shoulders.

"Oh, come on, Taichi. I really need to take a shower," I whispered exasperatedly. _Yeah, that and the fact that you really don't want to sleep in the same bed with a guy. Don't want that again, eh? _Shut it.

"Please? Yamato? Just…this…once?" he mumbled in his sleep and he looked so cute and peaceful that I couldn't resist, so I scooted in beside him. His face was relaxed and calm, despite the telltale signs of puffy eyes from crying so hard. I smiled at him, knowing that he couldn't see me.

_He really is a beautiful person._

_Shut up, Yamato.__ Stop thinking about that. Stop it! You're going to get your hopes up again and then you'll be hurt and it'll start all over again. Do you really want that to happen? Well? Do you? You remember what happened the last time you started to like someone, right? You don't want a repeat performance of THAT debacle._

I groaned, knowing that the annoying little voices in my head were absolutely right. I had been hurt too many times by too many people to allow one beautiful man to ruin the well-built wall that I'd placed around my heart. I lay in bed, contemplating everything, knowing that I couldn't do anything, that I shouldn't do anything. I had gone so long without any real friends for whom I genuinely cared that I was excited, exhilarated, and terrified all at once that I had made friends with Taichi. I was happiest when I was around him and my mind whirled with all the reasons why I WAS so damn HAPPY when I was with him, why I couldn't help but smile when I saw his face.

His smile had always come so easily, he grinned without a care in the world and when he did, his eyes lit up. I could almost literally feel the joy emanating from him and filling me with his happiness. Now, I realized that he wasn't always so carefree. And it only caused me to like him so much more, as a friend and person. There was always something so comforting in seeing raw humanity from someone that had previously seemed so strong and unconquerable. It only made me feel like I could connect with him so much more so now that I saw that he could feel fear. I couldn't explain it. Not then. But I was so adamant in trying to convince myself that those feelings were platonic in the sense that I only wanted to be his friend (which I genuinely wanted to do) that I didn't hear the sheets rustling.

So I received quite a surprise when his arms wrapped around my waist and his head moved to rest on my chest. _Dear Lord._ I stiffened and instinctively move away but he held tight. With nowhere to go and resigning myself to be in such close proximity to him, I took the opportunity to study him more closely than I would never have dared. His hair, which looked coarse and unruly on first glance, was really very soft. His skin had the look of a well-tanned person confined to staying inside for too long but it was smooth and without blemish, save for the occasional scar received from god-knows-what mischief.

"Tai? Uh, Tai? You're choking me." I whispered but he didn't move, except to curl up even closer to me. _Ah shit._ I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, forcing myself to breathe evenly, though it was hard since my heart was pounding. It seemed to take forever but eventually, the sound of his breathing and the comforting darkness of my room lulled me into an uneasy slumber.

A/N: Well…? I love reviews and I love criticism! Any at all? Don't be shy. Come on now!

Okay, and for the first time, I'm going to answer reviews… hahahaha. I've never done this before and I'm not going to do this very often but I felt like it today, so whatever.

LuV2Writ3: wow… O.o I have never received a more flattering review. Thanks so much! Guess the pressure's on to keep it up…

Lazy person: oh no! I did! Hmmm, gotta go find those. Thanks for the notice!


	7. Surprises and Trust Taichi

Disclaimer: I OWN Digimon! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA. -- pay no heed to that. That was merely wishful thinking. Of COURSE I don't own Digimon…

A/N: I'm ba-a-aaack. It's such a relief to finally be in summer vacation! Haha. Thanks for all the encouragement and everything!

The sun was shining and the sounds of happily shrieking children reached my ears and I groaned, burying my face deeper into my pillow which was unusually comfortable and soft. I was in no mood to deal with the world today and, as it was a class-free day, I was going to make the most of it by lounging in bed until I damn well pleased.

"Mmmgghfff." My pillow jerked violently under me and was still again. I closed my eyes once more, about to fall back asleep when… _Wait a minute! Pillows aren't supposed to move!_ Horrified, I opened my eyes and, instead of my pillow, came face-to-face with a still deeply slumbering Ishida Yamato.

"The fuck!" I shouted, jerking upright so fast that I fell off the bed. "Ah shit, that didn't feel too good." I lay on the floor and looked around me. It was definitely not my room. _Repeat, Taichi, this is not your room. Okay, so whose is it, then?_ Half-asleep, my brain raced to come up with a decent answer as to why I was NOT in my room and why I WAS lying in an uncomfortably close position with another guy. Then it hit me: Father's anger, my injury (which would explain the dull clunking sound my arm made on the carpet when I fell off the bed), the hospital, Yamato. I sighed with relief. _Okay, at least you know where you are. Yamato's place. Right. So what the hell were you doing in his bed! What the hell were you doing in his bed, sleeping on his stomach! With your arms around him, no less—and vice versa! Taichi… what the hell did you do last night!_ I groaned and brought my hands to my face, which only succeeded in clonking my forehead, intensifying my growing headache. Gasping and seeing stars, I tried to calm myself.

"Tai?" Yamato's face appeared unexpectedly over the edge of the bed and two inches from mine. I jerked away, shouting as I did so and my head came in contact with the edge of his desk. "Tai, are you okay? What happened? Why are you on the floor?" He looked amused and I glared.

"This isn't funny, Yamato," I snarled, doing my best to sound threatening when I was lying on the floor with a broken arm and near-useless legs. I couldn't have hurt him even if I had wanted. "I want to know what I was doing in your bed—with you!" I jabbed an accusatory finger in his direction and he sat up quickly to avoid being poked in the eye.

"Aha, well, it's funny you should ask, Tai." He smiled nervously and the blush that spread across his face was only too noticeable.

"What the fuck was I doing in your bed, Ishida Yamato!" _Ouch. Okay, maybe I shouldn't yell. Not yet anyway._ All traces of sheepishness disappeared and the subsequent look of unease wasn't any better.

"Okay, okay. Calm your nuts, Tai. And watch your language." He ran a hand through his hair and looked at me. "Well, you fell asleep on the couch last night and I figured that you would rather sleep in the bed so—,"

"You slept in the same bed with me without my permission?" I screeched. "What are you some sort of pervert or something? Geez. I want a lawyer, Ishida, I want a lawyer right now!"

"No! It wasn't like that, Tai, I swear. I would never do that." Yamato shook his head vehemently although the blush didn't go away. "See, well, I didn't want to wake you, since you'd had such a rough night so I carried you here," he gestured vaguely around the room, "and I was going to sleep on the couch but—well," he laughed sheepishly, shrugging as he did so, "you wouldn't let me."

"**I** wouldn't let YOU!" I was getting more and more hysterical and the dull throbbing behind my eyes turned into full-fledged hammering. "Let me get this straight: I came over here, fell asleep on the couch, you carried me to the bed and then I wouldn't let you leave so you slept with me? Is that it?"

"Yeah, pretty much," he nodded, oddly calm about the whole situation, "Look, Tai, this is as awkward for me as it is for you but you DID ask me."

I froze. That was just in my head, wasn't it? _Oh kami-sama, tell me I didn't actually say that aloud!_

"Oh. Right. Well, er," I was at a loss for words and was having particular trouble meeting his eyes. "Sorry about—well, you know."

"It's okay. I kind of figured you just weren't really in your right mind since you'd been having such a bad day. Are you feeling better?" I shook my head. The night's events were flooding back to me and I was so humiliated, I wanted to crawl into a hole and never have to face Yamato again. "Oh, come on, Tai. It's excusable. Takeru used to do that all the time after—," he stopped abruptly and shook his head, his mouth creasing into a frown, "after he'd had a particularly rough time of it. I don't care. Really. Besides, it really isn't healthy for you to keep all those emotions bottled up inside. It'll only build up until you can no longer keep it in and then where would you be?"

"Well, then…" I trailed off then started again, "Thanks, Yamato. For—for everything." I swallowed hard and, somewhere above me, I caught sight of him nodding.

"It was nothing. Now, do you want me to help you up or do you want to lie on the floor all day?" Without waiting for an answer, he picked me up with surprising ease and put me in the wheelchair, which was lying open and ready beside his desk. He stopped in front of me and seemed to be trying to look into my eyes but I was still too embarrassed to meet his gaze. Despite his reassuring words, I was hesitant to see if there was any hint of disgust or damnation in his eyes. I had been weak last night, had shown my emotions to someone other than the darkness of my room.

My friends always told me that I was too happy. I was the most energetic of my class and, quite obviously, the class clown. I smiled often, showing the world that Yagami Taichi was a normal, teenage boy with a perfect family. Or at least, that's what I tried to prove to myself every time I smiled. In some subconscious way, I told myself that by smiling so much, I would actually start to feel the same as my outward appearances attested. It failed miserably every single time. I was always reminded that underneath the warm exterior that I presented, was a lonely coward who was scared of life and of his father.

Since the accident, those feelings of loneliness had grown. None of my friends could possibly know what it was like to have their whole futures wiped away with one split second. They couldn't possibly understand the feeling of unfairness that welled inside of me when I watched them running around on the soccer field or walking home from class. Just the simple act of standing was more than my own legs could handle and none of them had ever had to experience that feeling of helplessness. Oh, sure, they were sympathetic and, to their credit, they did try to understand but I knew that they couldn't. Not really. Not ever. No one would ever know exactly what I was going through. Yet, the smile remained. I was, as I had always been, the ever-optimistic, reckless, loveable teenager that they had known. I laughed at the jokes, smiled when I was supposed to but the feeling of true happiness was something that I couldn't grasp.

But I couldn't let that show. I couldn't. My father hated weakness, hated tears. He would snort with disgust if he saw tears or a hint of sadness, even when I was a child. I had learned, early on, that I would only receive scorn rather than sympathy if I dared to show my weaknesses. So I swallowed those emotions. I bit back the fear that rose like bile into my throat, blinked away the tears that threatened to spill over. I learned to hold it in until I couldn't stand it any longer, until I was filled to the brim with such an intense feeling of—everything that I had to empty myself. It was only in a dark room late at night when I dared to cry. Even then, I muffled the near silent sounds with my pillow, terrified that my father would hear. I would empty myself and the mask would stay, as happy and carefree as always.

"Tai? Hello-o? I'm talking to you, you know." Yamato's fingers snapped in front of my eyes and I blinked, startled out of a trance. I had forgotten he was there.

"Huh? Oh, sorry, Yamato. I was—I was just thinking. What were you saying?"

"I was asking if you would like some breakfast," he repeated, rolling his eyes. "So? What'll it be?" He raised a perfectly shaped golden eyebrow at me and put his hands on his hips, giving me a look that told me I would have to answer.

"I'll eat whatever you have here," I mumbled, as my stomach gave a particularly loud growl.

"Right then, pancakes it is." He stopped and tilted his head at me. "Or do you prefer waffles? Oh come ON, Tai. I know you're hungry so you might as well tell me what you prefer to eat in the morning. Come on, spit it out!"

"I-well-UGH!" I threw my hands up into the air out of sheer exasperation, "Fine then! I like bacon, eggs and pancakes. OH-KAY!" The look of impatience vanished from his face and he beamed cheekily at me.

"Gotcha. Now, come on, I can't very well leave you in here all by yourself. 'Specially since you couldn't wheel yourself out of a paper bag with that arm of yours." He laughed cheerfully and pushed me out of the room. "Oops, sorry, Tai," he chuckled when I was jostled against a table.

"Watch it, bastard." I twisted around in my seat and narrowed my eyes at him. "You know," I yelped again when he'd run the chair into a wall, "I've half a mind to think that you're bumping me against everything on purpose."

"What on earth gave you that impression, Taichi? YOU might do something like that if our places were switched but I certainly wouldn't. How dare you suggest such a thing?" His voice was supremely disdainful with a practiced edge of mocking. "But you know, I must give you credit. Your half a mind CAN think after all. Even if it is extremely paranoid, cynical and horribly malfunctioning, it works somewhat. I'm proud of you, Taichi."

"YAMATO!" I roared, turning so hard that a sharp pain shot up my spine. He giggled at me, flashing those perfect teeth at me and I glared. Under any other circumstances, I would have lunged at him and hit him so hard his teeth would have been knocked down his throat. But, as I was completely at his mercy, I wasn't in any position to retaliate with my fists.

"Now, now, Taichi, temper, temper," he wagged a hand at me, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. Once he had settled me at the kitchen table, he turned his full attention to the stove. Bored, I propped my head up on the wood and watched him as he cooked. He moved in a sort of intricate dance around the small kitchen, making the most of the limited space made available to him. As he chopped, stirred, tasted and cooked, he hummed lightly to himself, lips moving soundlessly to words which were only heard in his brain. In a matter of ten minutes, he had produced enough food to feed a family, much less two people. Everything smelled so good that my mouth watered as he set the platters full of food onto the table with a flourish.

"Wow, Yamato, you really know how to cook," I mumbled through a mouthful of pancakes. "No one in MY family can, except for my mother and she tends to make such strange things that they don't really agree with our stomachs." We ate in silence and I savored every home-made bite.

"So, what do you want to do today, Taichi? Classes are cancelled so we have the whole day ahead of us. You pick," Yamato stood and cleared the table, rinsing the plates in the sink before he placed them into the dishwasher.

"Well, I was wondering if we could go to the pool. I heard somewhere that it helps with therapy patients and other things. Is that true?" He turned to me with a slight frown before answering hesitantly.

"It is true, Taichi, but you have to understand that your case is somewhat different. I would prefer that you make more improvement in being able to control your muscles before we started on water therapy." I must have been looking rather upset because he tilted his head to the side and appeared to be thinking about the situation. "However, I don't see why we can't go to the pool today. Just to hang out, mind you. In any case, we should probably get a move on; it's already noon and the pool closes at two today." Yamato wheeled me back to his room, which was quite neat and rummaged through drawers before finding his swim trunks. He threw me a pair and I eyed it, holding it up to my waist to make sure that it would fit. Yamato was so slender that I was worried his trunks would be too tight. Fortunately, they fit me perfectly and I managed to pull them on, though with some difficulty.

At the pool, he changed while I fidgeted impatiently. He took his time, knowing that I was anxious to be out of the cold, damp changing room and into the pool. As he brought me outside, his expression tightened and I caught him glancing at me worriedly every few moments.

"Look, Tai, be forewarned that there will be people staring." Since it was policy, we took showers and then disinfected our feet before we were actually allowed in the pool.

The pool hall was the pride and joy of our little town. Fundraiser after fundraiser had taken place just to be able to build the place. The fees we paid, while inconvenient, were nevertheless necessary to keep the pool in pristine condition. I loved it here. When I had the time, especially during summer holiday, I would come after soccer practice, take a quick rinse and dive in. Of course, I usually came to swim in the competition pool, which was of Olympic size, depth, and proportions. Divers were constantly jumping off ridiculous heights and perfecting their techniques so it was important to remember to avoid the far end of the pool if one wished to avoid being crushed.

This time, Yamato brought me to the other pool. About as big as the competition pool, this one was shaped like a lopsided oval. The larger end had a depth of about eight feet and the shallow end was approximately four feet. I rarely came to this half of the hall; I was usually too busy working muscles that couldn't be exercised on land to bother with that pool, which was always too full of lounging fools who would rather sunbathe than swim. I had to admit, though, that it was a work of art. The cement floor had been inlaid with colorful tiles of all different sizes and, when seen from afar, they seemed to ripple together to form a mosaic of nonsensical, yet rather artistic, shapes. At the very center of the pool was a small island where two fake palm trees stood at either ends of the foam island. There were benches, which were heated from the seat, surrounding the pool and many people enjoyed coming just to rest on those benches. Rubber palm trees stood everywhere, giving this half a very relaxed, tropical feel. Colorful plastic rafts and foam noodles were made available to those who enjoyed being in the water but not actually in the water.

Yamato grabbed a few of the foam noodles and then wheeled me to a bench near the edge of the shallow end. Upon his handing the noodles to me, I gave him a quizzical look which turned to one of shock when he scooped me up, bridal-style, and padded to the stone steps leading into the water. I could feel the eyes of dozens of people boring into me, wondering why I was being carried, half-naked, into a pool by another boy in a similar state of dress.

"Um, Yamato, would you PLEASE put me down? People are—er—starting to stare," I growled, inches from his face. He laughed and stopped dead, staring into my eyes, tightening his arms around me. There was a definite hint of—something in those beautiful blue orbs and I could feel his breath lightly hitting my face. I could feel myself being pulled under, deep into his eyes and, even though I wanted to, I couldn't bring myself to look away. His mouth twitched slightly and then he allowed himself to grin fully before he laughed aloud.

"C'mon Tai, quit fooling around and let's go already." The words were completely useless, since I wasn't the one controlling our movements, but at that moment, I was too bewildered by what had just taken place to even find room for a witty retort. He trotted quickly to the pool and slid in. As soon as the water hit me, I could feel myself relaxing. I loved soccer, but there was always something about water that allowed me to just dispense of all the tension from the day. Yamato waded in further, never letting go of my waist and staying close to the side of the pool. Once the water was about waist-high, Yamato stopped and let go of me. Completely taken by surprise, I panicked slightly and grabbed onto the nearest thing that I could, which just happened to be Yamato's shoulder.

"Uh, Yamato, this isn't cool. What am I supposed to do?" I scrabbled for control but the water threatened to drag me away and I was helpless to stop it. "This isn't funny, Yamato!" He seemed startled by the sharp tone of my voice but grabbed my hands and guided me to the edge.

"Relax, Tai. You weren't going anywhere; it was just in your imagination." he said, firmly holding me in place. "I won't let you drown." I snorted, clinging to the wall. "I promise." With his hands on mine, he gently led me away from the wall and for once, to my utter astonishment, I wasn't fighting him.

A/N: I wish my city had a pool like THAT. But I guess that's the beauty of writing fiction, eh? You can make anything a reality for your characters. D


	8. Disturbing News Yamato

Disclaimer: this doesn't belong to me…

"Alright, Taichi, I think we should get out now, don't you?" I asked with a smile. He was relaxed, not at all like he was earlier when we first got into the pool. The fear in his brown eyes was shocking and I couldn't figure out the reason for it. He hadn't gone anywhere; the pool was quite still despite the many loungers. However, he seemed to find something quite terrifying since he grabbed hold of me and wouldn't let go. When I finally persuaded him to let go and allow me to pull him to the center of the pool, he was beginning to get used to the ebb and flow of the water, the feeling that he was moving when he really wasn't. He began to enjoy himself and his muscles visibly loosened, a content smile plastered on his face and he sighed, loving every moment we were in the pool. I stayed near him, always in reach, should he panic once more.

"Yeah, I think so, too. The staring is starting to annoy me," he replied, languidly, with ease, from where he was floating on the water. A tanned arm lifted and motioned, just barely visibly, to an old couple sitting at the other end of the pool. I chanced a glance and saw the way they watched us, their faces contorted with disgust and apprehension. I had seen looks like those too many times in the past to be surprised or even upset. I helped him sit up and he shook his head, spraying droplets of water everywhere. "You would think they had never seen two people swimming together and enjoying each other's company before."

"No, you would think they hadn't," I mused thoughtfully to myself. "Come on, let's get you dried." I towed him behind me as I made my way to the steps and then picked him up.

"Really," I heard the old woman say to her husband, "those gay people ought to refrain from rubbing their affection in other people's faces!" Her husband nodded in agreement. I made a face once my back was turned to them. It was ironic, really, how people hated the idea that a person could be attracted to someone of the same sex so much and yet jumped straight to that conclusion, without any prior knowledge of who we were and how we behaved

"Where shall we head next?" I asked once we had dried ourselves and changed into proper clothing.

"Let's see if we can find Sora, she always has something interesting going on." I agreed and soon, we were on our way.

"Where d'you think she is? You must have some idea, right?" I asked, walking outside into the sun. Taichi shrugged stupidly.

"Well, she could be—I really don't know. Let's try the park?" Taichi's tanned arm lifted in a vague gesture.

I followed its gesticulations, squinting, unused to the sunlight from being inside. Asking myself how I had gotten stuck wheeling an invalid around while searching for a girl who could have been anywhere in Odaiba, I pushed him down the street, toward the tennis courts. Fortunately, for Tai's bodily well-being and my sanity, we found her playing a pretty competitive game of tennis with another friend. When the game had ended and Sora had argued sufficiently enough with her male companion about who had won, she jogged over to us, wiping her sweaty forehead on her arm.

"Hey, what's up, guys?" she bent down and gave Tai a kiss on the cheek. "Come to watch me rule the courts?" At this, her friend gave a shout of dissent and a yellow-green ball was chucked at the back of her head. She turned to face him, smiling sweetly and he waved happily as he gathered his things and left.

"Never. We were just wondering if you had any plans because we can't think of anything to do." She made a face at Tai and then knelt beside him.

"You know, Kari phoned me in the middle of the night, sobbing about how you got into a nasty fight with your father and left the house afterward. I'm assuming you got that cast on your arm as a result of said fight. She hasn't seen you since, Tai. You should call her; she's really worried about you." In an instant, the whole day seemed to darken. Tai tensed visibly and his jaw clenched; the muscles in his neck stood out and he had to close his eyes to regain his composure before he spoke again.

"Look, Sora, it's none of your business," Taichi said, his voice surly. She stood, put her hands on her hips and towered over him.

"None of my business? I'm one of your best mates, Yagami Taichi, and I would have you know that it entitles me to be in your business!" Taichi cowered under her glare, and I didn't blame him. Sora gave the impression of being one who, when truly riled, could take on the toughest of opponents and win.

"Whatever. I'll call her. Happy?" he was still not looking at her and his voice was still resentful. A look of hurt flashed in her eyes and she bit her lip, unsure at the change in Tai's behavior. He looked up and as he did, the hurt disappeared and a bright smile was plastered in an instant.

"Tai, let's go watch a movie, yeah? There's a new film that just came out and I thought we could watch it together?" Her voice was cheery but I could still hear the worry and fear that was laced underneath. "What do you say to that?"

"Hm, no, I don't think so. I'm going to go home and see how Kari and mum are doing." Somehow, he managed to turn the wheelchair away from Sora so he didn't see the way her face fell at the obvious snub.

"Oh, come on, Tai. I'll take you home right after the movies. It'll be fun," I said, nodding at Sora.

"No. I'll just get a taxi to take me home." I sighed at him.

"If you really want to go home so badly, I would be more than happy to drive you."

"Does the fact that I want to be alone right now ring a bell? What's so hard about that? I'll call a taxi right now." Tai wheeled away from us, fumbling as the cast hindered him. "Don't bother to come with me." Sora froze in mid-step; she had just started to stride forward in an attempt to change his mind and, should that fail, see him safely home.

We watched him clamber into a taxi, with the aid of the driver, and as the vehicle rode away, Sora heaved a sigh. It was full of sadness, frustration, anger, and hurt, and I could only imagine how she felt at the moment.

"Yamato, do you mind terribly if you stayed a bit? I—I need to speak with you." We sat down on a park bench and she was quiet for a moment before she spoke again. "He's changed. And I know that I'm basically stating the obvious but he has. You haven't known him for that long but I've known him since we were really little. He used to be so—oh, I don't know," she sighed, "so happy, I guess. And it may seem as if he's happy now, or at least was before the accident, but he never really was. Everything changed when we were around ten years old. To everyone else, he was just maturing but I knew that something was wrong. I don't know what it is but I think Taichi's depressed. Like, seriously depressed."

"Sora, he just found out that he'll never be able to play professional football. Hell, he might not even be able to walk ever again. I think that would make anyone a little depressed, wouldn't it?"

"No, it's not that. You don't understand. Oh, I don't even know why I'm telling this to you but I needed to get it out. I'm worried about him, Yamato. Really, seriously worried for him. It's not that he's been depressed since the accident, I don't deny that, but something's been going on for a long time now and I don't know what it is. I want to help him but I don't think he wants my help. I don't know what to do and—it's killing me." She bent over her lap, twisting her fingers and sniffing forlornly. I put my arm around her and pulled her closer.

"I'm sorry, Sora. I'm just as in the dark as you are and I wouldn't know what to do even if I did know. If your suspicions are correct, but he hasn't said anything to us, chances are that he's scared. The best thing we can do is just to be there for him and let him know what we will be there for him no matter what happens. He's a strong person, and I'm sure that when he's ready, he'll tell you."

"Thanks, Yamato. God, I wish all guys were like you. If they listened half as well as you did, they wouldn't end up breaking so many girls' hearts." She wiped away a tear.

"You really care about him, don't you?" I asked. She nodded, smiling softly.

"I've known him ever since I can remember. We met when he spilled chocolate milk on a painting that I'd set down to dry. I punched him and he ran away, laughing, and I ended up chasing him for half an hour trying to get him to apologize. We've been friends ever since. And—now—now, I don't know what to think." Sighing heavily, she buried her face in her hands as tears began to leak out of her eyes.

"Hey, hey, don't—don't cry. It's going to be okay." I swallowed uncomfortably, not knowing what to say. "Sora, I really don't know what to say or do but I promise, if it makes you feel any better, I'll do my best to help Tai. But, you know, you should talk to him yourself. Get it out. It can't be easy keeping it inside."

"I've tried, believe me, Yamato, I've tried. And thanks. I really appreciate it." She wiped her face with a handkerchief. "It's getting late and I have to get home. I'll see you around sometime. Bye." Looking slightly more cheerful, she stood and walked away, waving at me over her shoulder.

I stayed on the bench for a little longer, mulling over everything that she had told me. Tai was obviously devastated since learning that he may never walk again. His depression was to be expected. However, if what Sora had said was true, he had been depressed for quite a while. I had promised her that I would do what I could and I meant it. Tai had become a good friend and, if I knew anything about friendship, helping each other in times of need was a requirement of friendship.

It was getting dark so I figured I had best get going. Once I had reached home, I took a nice, hot shower and relaxed in my room with a cup of cocoa and a book I had wanted to read for a while. Just as I was snuggling into my favorite thick sweater and getting comfortable, there was a knock on the door and I opened it to find a young, pretty girl standing before me. She looked worried and was scrutinizing a card that I recognized to be mine.

"Um, hi, can I help you?" I asked, more puzzled than annoyed, though I did feel a bit impatient that I'd been interrupted.

"Beg your pardon, sir, but are you Ishida Yamato?" she asked timidly. "I'm afraid I got a bit lost and—and I'm sorry if I woke you or anything."

"No, you've got the right house. I was just reading. Come in, come in." I stepped out of the way and she entered the house, looking relieved that she had knocked on the right door.

"I'm sorry to be calling at such a late hour but—I was wondering if you could help me." She shook her head at my wordless offer for some cocoa. "My name is Yagami Kari and—well, I found your card in my brother's pocket. Do you know him?"

"Oh, yes, he's a patient of mine. I'm his physical therapist. You're his younger sister, right?" she nodded an affirmation. "So, how can I help you?" I settled on the couch and gestured for her to sit down. She perched a bit stiffly on the armchair beside the couch and took a deep breath.

"He's disappeared, you see. I was talking to him and we got into a bit of an argument and he stormed off. I heard him mutter something about 'Yamato's place' so I went through his things. The card said you lived here and—and, well, is he here? I need to speak with him."

"No, Kari, he's not here. I haven't seen him since this afternoon, before he spoke with you." She looked crestfallen and extremely anxious.

"It's getting cold outside and he wasn't wearing the proper clothing. He's been so downhearted lately, even more than usual, and I'm worried about him. We used to be really close and now—now, he's so distant."

"You know what; I think I might know where he is. It's a spot I showed him awhile ago and he seemed to take to it. Would you like to come with me?" I stood, grabbing a scarf, and she followed me out the door, her eyes hopeful. We trooped to my secret place in silence and, when we spotted the familiar silhouette of Taichi, Kari gave a tremendous shriek and ran toward him. I stayed behind, just to give them some private time but Kari called me over almost immediately. She had her arms crossed and was giving Tai such a glare that if I had been on the receiving end, I would have turned and run the other way.

"Yamato, _you_ speak with him. He's being absolutely stupid and pigheaded. He won't listen to me, maybe he'll listen to you." Muttering darkly to herself, she strode a few feet away and slumped against another tree. Even from there, I could feel her burning reproach aimed toward her older brother.

"Taichi, what is up with you? Kari's been worried sick about you. You can't just—just run away like that and not expect her to try and find you."

"I'm sick of it," he mumbled to his lap. "I'm just sick of everything. I want to run but I can't. I just feel so useless." A single tear dripped onto his knee and he made a sound in his throat, halfway between a sob and a snort of disgust. I sighed and put a hand on his shoulder, leaning closer.

"Tai, there's something going on with you, something beyond your physical disabilities. No one can help you if you keep it bottled up. Sora was talking with me today and she's worried about you. Kari's worried about you. We want to help but we can't unless you tell us what it is." I leaned as close as I dared, until I could feel his breath on my face, "_let _us help you. Let us show you that we care about you. Please." He looked up, liquid brown eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "There's no shame in admitting fear or weakness or anything. It's unhealthy not to let everything out. It rots your insides." I smiled winningly and Taichi gave a shaky laugh.

"Tai-chan?" Kari had trotted up, apparently taking his laugh as a signal that he was in a better mood, though she spoke timidly, still afraid of unleashing Taichi's ire upon her. "Can you come home?"

"If it really means that much to you, Kar," he sighed. "I'll go home and stop Mum and you worrying but I'm not saying a word to that bastard!"

"How can you say that about your own father?" Kari asked. He gave her a scathing look.

"He broke my arm, Kari. D'you think a real father would do that to his kid? He hates me now, or is that not obvious to you? Tell me, what kind of father would hate his own child just because said child was in an accident and paralyzed through incidents not his fault!"

"Okay, Tai, calm down," I intervened as tears sprang once more into Kari's eyes and she opened her mouth to retort. I heard a faint clacking sound and realized it was the sound of Taichi's teeth chattering from the cold. "Come on, you two, why don't we go to my place first and work it out? Now isn't really the best time to be standing about arguing."

Inside the house, I turned up the heat and dispensed with the thick sweater and scarf I was wearing. I noted with amusement how Kari's eyes became wide when she saw the tight-fitting black shirt I was wearing underneath.

"Alright, get to it," I smiled at the brother and sister sitting opposite each other. "Go on, work it out. Shout, scream, yell…I don't care. Neighbors can't hear you anyway. Just don't break anything," I paused, "and don't hit each other, please."

"Taichi, you have to come home," Kari was quiet but firm and she set her jaw in a way that said she would not face her mother and father without her big brother in tow.

"I already told you I would go home with you, didn't I? But I'm not talking to _him_." Taichi spat the word with contempt, though I noted the fear that flashed in his eyes before disappearing.

"Tai, couldn't you control your temper? He's stressed enough as it is and when you mouth off to him, it only makes him madder."

"You want me to control _my_ temper? What about asking _him_? Everything I say or do is either ignored or criticized. I can't do anything right and when I do, he fucking loses his temper. What do you want me to do? I hate him and he hates me. It's a mutual feeling. All I have to do is stay out of his way. And I aim to get pretty damn good at it, too."

"Fine," Kari sighed, looking as if she wished she could reconcile father and son but was too tired to try. "Fine. Can we just—go home, now?"

"Whatever," Taichi wheeled toward the door, bumping clumsily into a coffee table with his cast. "FUCK!" he yelped, his face contorted with anger. "Fuck you!"

"Watch your language, Tai," I sang, wagging my finger teasingly at him, wanting desperately for his sister's sake to lighten the mood.

"Fuck you, Ya-ma-to," he snarled in an equally sing-song tone with a nasty expression. "Well? You want to go home, right? Let's go home, then. Let's get this shit over and done with." He was out of the door, flicking a hand over his shoulder in, what I assumed to be, a goodbye wave.

"Thanks Yamato," Kari hugged me tightly, "he listens to you. I don't know why but he does."

"It's not a problem, Kari. Just give him some space and time. He'll open up, eventually." She buried her head in my neck for a moment before letting go. "So, I suppose I'll see you sometime. It was nice meeting you, Kari." A watery smile appeared on her face and she hurried out the door after her brother.

Going back to my book, I found that I could not concentrate; my thoughts kept returning to the continuing saga (and growing mystery) that was Yagami Taichi. I wanted to help him, not just as a physical therapist but as a friend. I thought of Kari and how she had said he listened to me. Ignoring the flattered feeling that arose in my stomach, I waved it off as a byproduct of being his therapist, a figure of authority, in a sense. After all, it made perfect sense that Taichi would listen to his physical therapist rather than his little sister, no matter how close they were.

Then there was the fact that both Kari and Sora, lifelong figures in Taichi's life, had come to me to talk about Taichi. Both had claimed that Taichi was different than the boy he used to be when he was younger. I wondered why I should be the one to whom they went to vent their spleen. I hadn't known Taichi for very long and, although we were developing a sort of tentative friendship, I still had lots to learn about who he was as a person. We certainly spent a lot of time in physical contact than most boys but that was just part of the job description. Despite my efforts to suppress it though, my hope rose that Tai was indeed trusting me or beginning to trust me. At the very least, I hoped he would be completely open to our therapy sessions, thus allowing himself to progress further. The very most that I dared hope was that he would regard me as a close friend, without the icy, professional barrier that now separated us.

I would see Taichi tomorrow at our therapy session. I promised myself that I would talk to him then, see if I could open the tightly locked lid of his inner thoughts to peek at the raw emotions that I knew were lurking behind the carefully constructed façade that masked him from the world.

And, though I promised myself that I wouldn't, I began to think of Taichi as a person who would be in my life, if not permanently, then for a very long time to come.

A/N: Ahahaha, I really shouldn't be updating but… oh well. Tell me what you think!


	9. Leaps and Bounds Taichi

Disclaimer: guess what? I don't own Digimon.

I didn't want to go home. I didn't even know if I could call that place a home. It was a house, a roof over my head, but it wasn't my home. I lived there but I felt no attachments to it. If it weren't for Kari, I would have disappeared from that place a long time ago. As soon as Kari and I walked, or in my case, rolled, through the door, I could tell that I was not in for a pleasant night. _But since when is it ever pleasant?_

"Where have you been, Kari? Dinner started fifteen minutes ago!" my father glared at her from over the newspaper. She rushed to his side and kissed him on the cheek.

"Sorry dad. I was caught—um, in traffic. Yes! I was caught in traffic." I groaned under my breath; she was a lousy liar.

"Hmph. Probably because you were wheeling that useless brother of yours around," he snorted. Kari fixed a reproachful look at him.

"Dad! He's not useless. How can you say that about him? He's your son."

"Yeah, unfortunately." He rolled his eyes and put away the paper, turning his attention to the food in front of him. I rolled cautiously to my place across from Kari and began to eat, slowly, though I hardly tasted the food. I was too preoccupied with the anger and the hurt that was surging through me, causing my stomach to roll unpleasantly.

I said nothing, keeping my eyes to my plate, and was rewarded with no explosions over dinner. As soon as I'd rinsed my plate and stuck it into the dishwasher, I disappeared into my room, letting out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. Kari was too naïve. She thought that my relationship with my father could be repaired but she didn't see the hate or maliciousness with which he looked at me. I wanted to run from the house, run from him and his control over my life. Sighing, I crawled into bed, using my arms to pull myself from the chair. I was becoming used to having limited use of my legs and, as Yamato said, I was getting better all the time.

Yamato. The name made me smile, conjuring up images of a smiling, self-confident man and ghosts of encouragement that kept me company in the dark. It seemed as if he truly cared about me, about what happened to me. He was only my therapist but he was quickly becoming so much more. I was beginning to see him as my friend, though I was hesitant to verbally reiterate that to him. I had no idea how much professional distance he wanted to keep and wasn't willing to embarrass myself by calling him my friend. He acted like my friend so, although it wasn't "official," I was content with that.

"I don't want that boy in my house!" Dimly, I resurfaced to the sound of yet another heated argument. "If I've said it once, I've said it a million times!"

"You're being unreasonable. It's not his fault. He didn't ask to be hurt. He didn't want to be a burden. And, if you ask me, he isn't!" There was the harsh sound of a slap and I closed my eyes wearily.

"Don't you talk back to me, woman," I heard him snarl before angry footsteps came closer and my bedroom door burst open. "You! It's all your fault, you fucking piece of shit! You're a disappointment, a blight on the family name! I'm ashamed to call you my son." His anger bore into me and I was filled with an overwhelming sense of injustice, though I bit my tongue and said nothing. My arm was still throbbing and I knew that it would only harm me more should I say anything to incur his wrath upon me. I swallowed the biting retorts that were fighting to leave my mouth and felt them burning, white-hot, in my chest, which was constricting tightly, making it quite difficult to breathe. It registered vaguely that my father had stomped from the room and I heard the front door slam loudly. An eerie tension filled the house, magnified ten-fold in the absence of noise and argument.

"Oh, Taichi, I am so sorry you had to hear that!" my mother rushed into the room in tears, throwing her arm around me and squeezing me tightly. "I don't know what's wrong with him. I really don't. I'm so sorry." Her voice gave way to weak tears and she began to murmur apologies over and over. A strange burning erupted behind my eyes and a lump had wedged its way into my throat; the room was blurry and distorted, all I could make out were shapes.

"It's okay, mum. It's not your fault," I choked past the lump. Patting her awkwardly on the back, I blinked furiously until the burning numbed and the room cleared. She stopped crying after a few minutes and sat up, breaking away from me and wiping her eyes. "I'm fine, mum. Don't worry about me." I smiled to make my point and she sniffed loudly, kissed me on the forehead, and then left the room, whispering 'good night' and another apology before she closed my door softly behind her.

Alone in the dark, again, I stared at the shadows dancing across the ceiling, trying futilely to master the tears that threatened to fall. I would not show weakness. I couldn't. But no matter what I said, no matter how much I smiled and claimed that I was fine, my father's words hurt me more than I could ever explain. They left me feeling empty and cold and numb. As I bit my lip until I tasted blood, I wondered how much more verbal abuse I could take, wondered if I could once again find the will and the strength to smile. Kari and Sora were already noticing and Yamato was questioning. They couldn't find out that my seemingly perfect family was white on the outside and filthy on the inside, full of secrets and hidden dirt. I couldn't let them know of my grief, I had to be strong. Weakness was not allowed. Weakness was not tolerated…

I woke the next day with a stiff neck from the strange position in which I had allowed myself to fall asleep. Knowing that today I had classes, I dressed slowly and laboriously, my mind not really following what I was doing. I was about to leave when a voice rang out.

"Yagami Taichi, you are not going to leave this house without eating something first!" my mother marched toward me, a bowl of rice in her outstretched hand.

"Hmph. 'M not hungry," I mumbled, even as I took the food. "I'm not hungry."

"Well, you're going to eat whether you like it or not." She fixed me with a glare that was impossible to ignore so I shoveled a few bites into my mouth and then handed the half-empty bowl back to her, wiping my mouth on my sleeve and forcing myself to swallow. With a half-hearted wave, I began my trek to the bus stop which would then take me to the college I attended.

The classes were too easy for me and I listened only with wavering attention. Once the professor had dismissed us, I left as inconspicuously as I could, considering I was the only one in the class with a wheelchair. I caught several of my female peers shaking their heads sadly and peeking at me with pitying eyes and hastened my departure, now staring only ahead of me and not looking left or right.

"Well well well, what do we have here?" Yamato's deep, melodic voice wafted over and he approached me with a smile. His golden hair glinted in the weak sunlight, brightening his blue eyes and emphasizing the paleness of his skin. He looked almost ethereal and, from my vantage point, the sun made a halo of light around his head. "So you finally decided to grace us with your presence, eh, Tai?" he laughed, adjusting the bookbag on his shoulder.

"Yeah, sure," I stared at his shoes, wondering how he could be so damn cheerful, how the world could be so fucking happy when I felt like shit.

"Is everything okay? Something bothering you?" the laughter had disappeared from his face and he was looking at me with such a caring, understanding expression in those big blue eyes that the prickling behind my eyes returned with a vengeance, determined to humiliate me.

"No, I'm okay," I lied, unable to meet his gaze. He had a way about looking at me that made me compelled to tell the truth; it was as if he could see right through me.

"Okay," he said, still sounding skeptical, though not questioning me, for which I was extremely grateful. "So, you want to walk around for a while or should we just head over to our therapy session?"

"Therapy," I said automatically. The harder I worked, the more likely I was going to get better. "Think you could give me a ride?"

"Yes, Taichi, that's why I said hello." He moved behind me and grasped the handles of the wheelchair, chattering about something or other.

"Do you think it gets easier after awhile?" I asked suddenly, interrupting his detailed description of his favorite classes.

"Eh?" he stopped walking and his face appeared over my shoulder, peering closely into my face. "What are you talking about?"

"Does it get easier to endure the stares? And the whispers? And the pity?" My fists clenched involuntarily as I remembered the way my teacher had looked at me at the beginning of the class.

"Ohh," he murmured. His eyes widened in comprehension and softened in sympathy. "Oh, Tai, you just have to learn to tune it all out. It gets a lot easier after that."

"How would you know?" I asked sullenly, glaring at the blonde visible in my peripheral vision.

"Let me guess," he smiled wryly, "they either stare outright, with their mouths open and drooling, as if you're a zoo animal and they're watching you do circus tricks. Or they whisper to each other behind their hands, giggling and hissing, all the while, throwing these looks at you. You feel like you're on display, like you're a freak and all you want to do is shout 'Is there something on my teeth? What about on my face? Stop staring at me!' Is that right?"

He had hit the proverbial nail right on its head and, though I didn't answer, he seemed to understand. It felt funny to have someone know, with such accuracy, how I felt.

"How do you know that?" I asked incredulously, more than a little bit uncomfortable at the ease with which he could look right through me.

"Let's just say that there's more to my past than you know," he smiled wistfully, his eyes looking neither at me nor at something behind me but at a moment that was lost in the muddied sands of time. "You can't let it get to you. Just—try and ignore it. Remember that they can't help it. You're different so they stare. It's a natural reaction to what makes them uncomfortable. They pity you, sure, but keep it mind that they have no reason to pity you. Does that make sense?" I shook my head.

"Hmm, okay," he began after a thoughtful silence, "these people who stare, they don't really know you like your friends know you, am I right? Well, none of your friends stare at you, do they? They don't pity you because they know that you have hope, that if you work hard enough, you can walk again. Instead of pitying you, they put their energies into encouraging you, whether silently or aloud. But strangers on the street, acquaintances in the classroom, they don't have a personal relationship with you in the sense that they don't know the whole story. They think that you'll be like this forever, but you won't. If you remember that, it doesn't feel so horrible. Or uncomfortable."

"They don't have to stare," I whispered.

"No, no they don't. It's rude first of all and it doesn't do any good but make everyone feel uncomfortable. But they do it anyway and there's really nothing you can do about it. I know it sounds harsh but—just get used to it. Believe me, after awhile, you don't even notice it unless you make a conscious effort to _keep_ noticing it. It's annoying at first but you learn to tune it out." After a short silence during which I mulled everything over, he said brightly, "Let's get going, shall we?"

"Yeah, let's."

We entered the dimly lit room and I made to grasp one of the bars but Yamato stopped me. He brought me, instead, to a corner of the room and set me down on a mat, smiling self-consciously at my questioning gaze.

"I thought we'd do something different. It's something I came across recently and I thought we could give it a try?" He looked at me expectantly, hands hovering above me, as though he was waiting for my permission before he did anything.

"Yeah, sure, I suppose," I shrugged, utterly bewildered._ Anything that'll make me get better faster._ Yamato beamed at me, eyes lighting up, and he set his hands on my leg. I tensed at the uncomfortable implications that it had, thinking that others would look at the two of us and once again think that we were romantically involved.

"Don't worry, Taichi. I won't attack you or attempt to seduce you or whatever you might be thinking at this very moment. I am your therapist first and foremost and am, as a result, expected to keep a certain amount of professionalism in our relationship." His haughty tone gave way to an amused chuckle, "Besides, Taichi, don't you think you should give me some credit? It's not like I'm going to _pounce_ on you or anything. You can barely move your legs as it is. Geez, what kind of person would I be if I took advantage of that?"

"Uh," I could only imitate his laughter, though I was somewhat uneasy. "So what exactly are you going to be doing?" I was suddenly aware that his hands had not left my leg and were resting gently upon my knee and the area on my thigh right above it.

"Right, sorry. Well, it's a new method and I must admit that I'm still learning about it myself but it looks safe and relatively easy, with the added bonus that it relaxes you. Which, if you don't mind my saying, is something that you need right at this moment." Yamato paused, and then, "This method is referred to as Feldenkrais(1), named for its creator. Its main purpose is to develop your sensitivity to your body and awaken quote-and-quote 'unused areas' of your body. Hopefully, this will allow you once again to regain full control and use of your legs. Now, it's a bit strange at first, but just trust me, okay?"

Still slightly apprehensive about the whole thing, I nodded, deciding that he was, after all, trustworthy. Still, it was hard to relax as he began to work with me in a way that was not altogether comfortable. He was patient, coaxing me with his soft voice to allow my muscles to loosen and, once I had gotten used to what he was doing, I was surprised at the positive effects it was having on me.

As he moved first my right leg then my left leg in small circles and then in gentle up-and-down movements(2), he told me to concentrate hard on what the muscles were doing, how they contracted and loosened simultaneously. It felt rather nice and I found the effects to be like I was weightless. For the first time in ages, I felt as though I could move if I really wanted to and when Yamato let go of my limb, I tried to imitate the contractions that I had felt earlier: the results of which, I was ecstatic to note, was a small jerk of my right leg. Concentrating hard, I tried to do the same with my left leg and was equally pleased to see that, again, there was a small jerk. The movements were almost imperceptible. While they may have been inconsequential and tiny to anyone else, to me, they were massive steps in the right direction. I had moved without any help from Yamato, moved using dependency upon my muscles and not my hands to lift the near-useless limbs.

"Well, would you look at that," Yamato breathed, beaming wider than I had ever seen before. I knew that, likewise, I had a stupid grin on my face. Then he sobered slightly, "It's a step in the right direction but don't expect that kind of improvement every time, okay? Sometimes you'll get it and sometimes you won't. We'll still be working on getting you to stand by yourself, in addition to this. I'm guessing that you wouldn't mind?"

"Not at all. This is the first time I've ever really felt as though there were hope, Yamato. Thanks."

"Oh, come on, Tai, you don't have to thank me. Just—just be happy again."

"Yamato? Are you busy tonight? There's a great restaurant that I found a while ago and I was thinking of going. Care to join me?" _Stupid stupid stupid, Taichi.__ He's going to think this is a date! **Is** this a date? No! No, it's just—_

"Sure, but you're not by any chance asking me on a date, are you?" There was a mischievous twinkle in his eye and he winked as he said it.

"No!" I replied, with more force than I intended, and as I protested, I could feel my face heating up. "No, it's just that I don't like eating alone. I could use the company." Yamato brightened considerably.

"So I take it that we're going as two _friends_ hanging out?" _Wait, did he just call me his friend? So he considers me his friend! Well, answer him then!_

"Yes, as friends." I smiled, feeling considerably happier that I could now regard him as a real friend and not just an associate who acted as if he was my friend. _Taichi__, baka, you're way too happy about this, you know. Wayyyy too happy. _"Let's go, friend, and eat."

A/N: Whew. It's late and I'm tired. Hope you enjoyed!

(1): Feldenkrais is a real method. It alleviates stress, improves posture as well as flexibility, coordination, and all that good stuff. It _is_ named after a physician, Moshe Feldenkrais, who sustained a serious injury which meant, he was told, that he had a 50 chance of recovering and a 50 chance of never walking again. (sound familiar, anyone?) So, no, it's not mine. I just wanted to give credit where credit was due.

(2): I am not sure whether or not this is exactly what the Feldenkrais practitioners do (so don't quote me on it, research it for yourself). My aunt took it and that's pretty much how she described it, so I figured I'd go for broke and add it.


	10. Questionable Changes Yamato

Disclaimer: guess what? I don't own Digimon/gasp/ oh dear oh dear oh dear, whatever shall we do?

"Come on, Tai, you can do it… come onnn," I encouraged, sweating almost as much as Taichi himself. He grunted and strained and panted until finally, _finally_, he lifted his left leg. It trembled in the air for only a moment before he had to let it fall but it was something. The triumph in his eyes shone and he turned his head, grinning.

"I did it, didn't I?" he asked breathlessly, "I really did it."

"Yep, you sure did and before you know it, you'll be walking again." I clapped him on the back and allowed him another few moments to savor his victory. "Now, for your other leg."

"Aw, come on, Yamato," he whined rather unattractively, "we've done quite enough for the day. I swear you worked me harder today than you ever have. I'm exhausted, not to mention starving."

"Well, you've come so far, you might as well work on your other leg too. We wouldn't want to be lopsided, would we?" I quirked an eyebrow at him and he shook his head, acquiescing defeat. "Look, I promise I'll take you to that new restaurant down the block if you can make the same progress with your right leg. My treat."

"Ooh, the Thai place?" his eyes lit up and he broke eye contact with me to stare hard at his leg, as if willing it to move. Within thirty minutes, he was moving both legs and whooping raucously over his victory.

"You know, I swear, I ought to just bribe you with food every time I want you to do something. Don't you think of anything else?" I asked, placing him back in his chair.

"Hmph," he pouted, "I just like eating, that's all."

"Gotta watch out, Tai. If you keep eating so much, you'll wake up one day and find that you've swelled like a great balloon."

"Very funny, Yamato. Now can we go eat? I'm starving," he shifted anxiously in his wheelchair and I shook my head at his one-track thinking but walked him outside into the cool night. We had established a comfortable camaraderie and were slowly inching forward into a real friendship. I liked to think of it as a…cautious meeting of two wounded animals, each wondering whether the other would be harm or help. Ecstatic as I was to have actually _made_ a friend on my own, I was more than a bit wary about what it might mean for me. I had been hurt more than once before and was not in a real rush to feel that again.

At the restaurant, we laughed and made small talk but mostly tried to ignore the gaggle of waitresses who appeared to be extremely interested in the both of us. They whispered, pointed, stared, and giggled whenever we did or said anything. When one of them approached us to take our orders, she blushed deeply when I opened my mouth and scurried away before Taichi could even say a word. He waved rather sarcastically at them and, turning an even brighter shade of red, the same waitress walked over to take his order.

"Geez, you would think they'd never seen a guy before," I whispered, leaning closer over the table to avoid being overheard. He did the same and nodded, grinning conspiratorially. "Obviously they've never met anyone as good looking as me," he said, waggling his eyebrows. I laughed and pretended to blush, fluttering my eyelashes.

"Oh, gods, I've never seen such a hot, handsome football player in my life," I said, mimicking a fan I'd once encountered. Taichi responded in the same breathy tones.

"And you are the sexiest physical therapist that I've ever had the fortune to meet." We caught each other's eye and then burst into fits of hysterical laughter. I had never laughed so hard before and, for some reason, I knew it had nothing to do with our jokes being funny and everything to do with Tai. Our food came at that moment and we both dug in with a voracity that only males can possess. Once, we both paused and, at the same exact moment, went for the other person's plate with our chopsticks to steal food.

"Hey! Leave my food alone!" Taichi swatted at my chopsticks with his free hand, while trying to snag a piece of shrimp with his own pair.

"Shut up and take your own advice," I smiled smugly as I popped some of his noodles into my mouth. He made a face at me but it brightened to a smile when I held up the shrimp he'd been attempting to steal. "Here, open your mouth." He obeyed and I dropped it in. He chewed thoughtfully, then choked and spluttered, spraying the table with bits of half-chewed shrimp.

"Shit, that's—spicy!" he yelped, gulping down his glass of water and then reaching for mine.

"Tai, drinking water won't help. It only dilutes the taste. Here," I summoned a waiter and requested a soda, which was brought almost immediately, "drink this. Sugar cuts the burning." His eyes watering, he gulped down the soda and let out a stifled belch. "Better?"

"How the hell can you stand that stuff?" he asked, wrinkling his nose in distaste as I mopped up the mess he'd made.

"It's good, Tai. _You're_ just a wuss," I raised an eyebrow in challenge and his mouth dropped open in outrage.

"I am not!" he protested, voice rising alarmingly to a shrill squeak.

"Whatever you say, Tai, whatever you say." His face turned a bright cherry red and he opened his mouth again to retort, then decided better and closed it. "Ah, you're learning, I see. Good, good, you're getting smarter." I knew I was being a smartass but it was fun and he took it all in good humor. After we had paid our bill and as we were heading out the door, I distinctly heard one of the waitresses sigh to another,

"Oh, if only they weren't so in love. Too bad all the cute ones have to be gay." Apparently, Taichi heard it too because he turned around and glared at them. Knowing that she'd been heard, the waitress rushed to appease him, "I mean, it's not that I have a problem with—your love for one another. Not at all, in fact, I think it's really cute." He laughed suddenly and then looked at me, an impish grin on his face.

"Yamato, darling, can you hurry? I have a new chocolate sauce I want you to try—on. You're going to look absolutely scrumptious in it!" His warm hand grabbed mine and he winked almost imperceptibly. Catching onto his game, I grinned and ruffled his hair.

"You are so naughty!" I giggled and then knelt beside him to breathe in his ear, "But you know, all that chocolate's gonna be messy. You're gonna help me—_lick_ it all up, right?" I stood quickly, noting with pleasure that the waitress now looked as if she was about to implode, and we hurried away, both of us shaking with silent laughter.

"Do we really look like a couple?" he asked once we'd calmed down. "It doesn't make sense. We're just friends, after all."

"I know, Tai, but what we did back there certainly didn't help your image of being completely straight, you know."

"_My_ image? What about _your_ image? Don't you care if people think you're gay?" He tilted his head to the side, as he always did when he was thinking hard about something. "I mean, doesn't it bother you when someone mistakes you as being a homosexual?"

I froze, not knowing what to say. Of course it didn't bother me if someone thought I was gay because I was. Well, bisexual, but still… Taichi's friendship meant a lot to me but I didn't want to risk scaring him away.

"Uh, why should I be bothered?" I asked, hoping he wouldn't notice the way I'd dodged the question.

"I dunno," he shrugged, "I guess it's just a blow to my pride when someone thinks I'm gay. I mean, come on, if they think I'm gay, that means I act—feminine and whatever."

"That's not true, it's just a stereotype. But, this is a subject for a different day. You up for some ice cream?"

"Hm, much as I would love that, my dad will kill me if I'm late. He's been in a bad mood for the past few days and I'm not doing anything to piss him off even more."

"Okay, let's go." I helped him inside the car and then we were off. He was brooding on the road, his good mood from earlier just evaporated. "Tai? Something bothering you?" He looked up and I was struck by the muted pain in those deep brown eyes.

"It's nothing new," he muttered sadly. "Just the same old shit." I pulled over and parked the car in order to give him my full attention.

"You know that you can talk to me if you need to, right? I'm always willing to listen."

"No, it's okay, Yamato. Thanks, though." He sighed heavily and bowed his head. Knowing when to back off, I restarted the car and pulled into the driveway of the apartment complex in which he lived. "G'night. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Um, hey, can I come with you?" It worried me to see him looking so down, especially after another day of successful therapy. He looked grateful but said nothing, which I took as consent, and got into the elevator with him. When the doors slid open, I heard a distinct shouting.

"How dare you say that about your own child? He's not useless! He's your child, that should be fucking good enough for you!"

"Shut up, you little bitch. I gave you this beautiful apartment, those clothes on your back… hell, I even fucking provided for the hospital bills of that little bastard and _this_ is how you repay me? Is that the thanks I get?" The dull sound of flesh on flesh and then the door swung open to reveal the pretty woman I had seen at the hospital. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy and her face was streaked with tears, her right cheek a bright red from the slap.

"Taichi!" she gasped, and stopped in her tracks. "I—I didn't know you would be coming home so early. Your father and I were just having a little discussion. Nothing to worry about," she forced a smile and, with some effort, turned and went to stand in the doorway, beckoning him inside. "Come in then. Have you eaten?" He shook his head silently and I was amazed at the restraint his mother was showing in her attempt to shield Tai from her troubles.

"Hi Mum. Don't worry about me, I've eaten already," Taichi's tone was flat though I could tell that he was desperately trying to keep in his anger.

"I should go, Tai, I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" I smiled encouragingly and then left, hearing the door close. It wasn't very dark yet and the night was warm so I headed to the park and wandered through the trees until I'd found my haven. Kicking off my shoes, I climbed the biggest tree as far as I could, relishing the way the wind tickled my face. The whole place was just as still and as peaceful as when I'd last visited it, as if it was waiting specifically for me. Taichi had liked it and I made a mental note to myself to bring him out here again.

Taichi. My brain clicked into overdrive and I shook my head. His was a formidable burden and I saw what it cost him to reign in his hot-headed temper in the effort to protect his sister and mother. I had done the same with Takeru and, though at times it was nearly physically impossible to control my anger, my protectiveness had given me something to hold on to, a goal that I had to keep pursuing, no matter the cost. I was not unhappy that my parents were no longer in my life and I would be lying if I said that I wished my relationship with them had been on better terms. It amazed me, sometimes, when I looked back to the miserable days I spent living under their roof, that they could possibly be my parents. I had my mother's light coloring and the shape of her eyes but the shape of my features were my father's, if somewhat softened on me. That was all the similarity that was noticeable to me; I was their biological child but they were not my parents. Takeru was my younger brother but I raised him to the best of my abilities, even as I was still trying to sort out my own shit. I watched my parents and hated the way they conducted themselves, the way they treated us, their children, and I learned from that. I was the opposite of everything they represented (or at least I hoped I was) and I was damned if I wasn't able to raise my brother with those morals. Taichi seemed to have a similar relationship with his sister, if not for the fact that he was not raising her as I had my brother. I grinned suddenly, imagining what he would do if Kari found herself a boyfriend. His temper and his care for her, demonstrated in the few interactions I had witnessed, would not make a good combination, should she decide to introduce him to any boy. I saw myself reflected in him and I didn't know if it scared me or if that only made me want to be there for him as no one had been there for me.

The next day, he refused to look up when I arrived to bring him to his classes. In the car, I snuck a glance and noticed a conspicuous bruise on the left side of his face. It spread from around his eye, to his nose and cheek, almost to his chin.

"Where'd you get that bruise, Tai?" I asked quietly, knowing that the answer he gave would not be the truth.

"I—I ran into a door. It's nothing," he whispered, sounding almost in tears.

"I'm not a fool, Tai. You didn't run into a door." There was a sudden sound, as if he had choked back a sob. "What really happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it," he mumbled.

"Taichi, I can't help you if you won't talk to me. I want to help, I really do. But I need you to tell me what happened. You know that you can get out of that house, right?"

"Yamato, I have nowhere else to go! I can't get a job because no employer wants to deal with a cripple, and I can't afford to pay rent on an apartment! My father would disown me and—that would cut me off from Kari and my mother and—it's not that bad, anyway."

"He's broken your arm, Taichi! And, you don't have to move out by yourself. If you need, you can stay with me. I've got a good-sized house and it gets lonely at night. The spare bedroom is huge and comfortable and—that way, you'd be closer to school and we could work longer and more privately on your therapy. It's a good arrangement if you can put up with me but, then again, I'm not that bad of a housemate."

"No, Yamato. Thanks for the offer but I'll be fine." He paused fearfully, then turned to look at me. "Please don't tell anyone, Yamato. Please? He would kill me if he found out I'd told you. Just pretend that I ran into a door. I'm clumsy with this cast and the wheelchair and everything. Just—don't tell anybody."

"It goes against my better judgment, Tai, but—if you say so, then that's that. I guess I'll just have to worry about you." I attempted a grin but it fell flat. "Anyway, Tai, if you're up to it, we could have an extra session tonight? I'm not doing anything and frankly, I'd rather be helping you than writing my term paper."

"Yeah, I'd like that."

After class, I was rushing to meet him ten minutes after his class ended. As I stuffed my books into the already-filled bag slung on my shoulder, I looked up to see him waiting for me, craning his neck. I was going toward him from the side, so he hadn't seen me yet when a burly man approached him, his face a mask of disgust and anger. I slowed my pace, not knowing whether this was a personal issue or not and if he wanted to handle it alone or not. Somewhere deep inside of me, a feeling told me that I should at least be close by, in case anything got out of hand; the man looked like he meant business.

"You little bastard!" He backhanded Tai across the face. "I have done nothing but care for you since the day you were born, I have provided you with a roof over your head, clothes on your back, and everything that you own. And this is how you repay me? By becoming a fucking faggot? I might've known, you were always a bit strange. No, I refuse to have a homosexual for a son. If you ever set foot in my house again, I will not hesitate to call the police for trespassing and breaking-and-entering." He slapped Taichi again, so hard, this time, that he fell from the wheelchair. Tai looked up and I could see, from my vantage point, the look of abject terror on his face. Not stopping to think, I dropped my bag and rushed in front of him, between him and the man, who had just raised a fist to hit Tai again.

"Hello. Is there anything the matter? Perhaps I should call a security guard to assist you?" I asked, with a bright smile. He stared at me and then curled his lip.

"No, I was just having a few words with this—creature. I'm through with him now." Turning briskly on his heel, the man marched away and disappeared into the crowd. With him gone, I turned my attention to Tai but not before I caught sight of the curious crowd that had gathered.

"What're you all looking at?" I growled. "Come to stare at someone else's humiliation? How would you like to have something like that happen to you?" Looking somewhat shamed, the onlookers turned and hurried away. When everyone had gone, I turned to Tai and kneeled down.

"Tai? Tai-chan? Are you alright? He didn't break anything, did he?" I put my hand to his chin and gently lifted his face.

"No. No, I'm fine. He's done worse before," Tai whispered. He looked up suddenly and leaned forward urgently, his hands clutching my shirt. "What am I gonna do now, Yamato? Where am I gonna go? What—how am I gonna afford a place?"

"Well, my offer didn't go away in the last few hours. You can just stay with me."

"Are—are you sure? I won't be too much trouble?"

"Of course not, what're friends for? Come on, let's go home, shall we?"

"Thank you," the whisper was barely heard but I smiled and squeezed his shoulder before gathering up our books and beginning to head home, all thought of the extra therapy session gone. At the house, I got him situated in his new room, the size of which seemed to awe him. Leaving him to explore his new surroundings, I went to the kitchen to prepare something for us to eat when I heard a crash and a thud, followed by what sounded like a cry of pain.

Upon entering the room, I stopped immediately; millions of tiny shards of glass were strewn on the floor and, judging from the puddle of water and flowers, had come from a glass vase that a friend had once given me. Tai was kneeling awkwardly on the floor with his legs sprawled out beneath him. He was muttering frantically, trying to sweep up the shards with his hand, seeming not to notice the cuts he was subsequently causing himself and the blood that he was smearing on the wood. I tip-toed my way through the hazardous maze of glass and grabbed his wrists to stop him from doing any more harm. It was then that he noticed me but he didn't put up a fight. He just let me pick him up, bring him to the bathroom, and clean his wounds. He didn't even flinch when I was forced to dig pieces of glass from his flesh.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked quietly, as I tended to his hands.

"I'm sorry, I bumped into the bureau and the vase tipped over and—I'm really sorry, Yamato. I didn't mean to break it or anything. And—it's not even been thirty minutes in your home and I've already gone and made a mess of things."

"Ah, don't worry about it. I break things all the time. It happens, Tai. But, next time you break glass, ask me for a dustpan and broom so you don't cut yourself like this, okay?" I held up his hand and examined the palm. The skin had all but been shredded and I hadn't even gotten all the glass out. Once I'd gotten him completely bandaged, I decided to forgo cooking and ordered out instead. Tai was quiet and didn't eat much; neither of us did.

"Yamato," he began, setting his food down on the table. "Why—why does he hate me so much?" He swallowed audibly and I scooted closer to him. "Why can't he just love me for who I am? Why—why—why can't I just p-please h-im?" his voice hitched painfully and he began to sob. Looking at him, I was almost overwhelmed with the urge to cry with him so I wrapped my arms around him, bringing him close, and rocked him gently.

No more words were spoken. The silence that fell down around us was broken only by his sobs and I held him to me until he had cried out all his pain. Both of us were exhausted and I noticed that his eyes were drooping before I, again, picked him up. This time, he snuggled closer to me and his arms wrapped around my neck, his face burying itself into my shoulder. I brought him to his room and lay him in his bed, unbuckling his belt and taking it off since it couldn't be comfortable to sleep with a belt on. As I left the room and turned off the light, I barely heard his last words to me before he fell asleep, words that caused my stomach to clench and my heart to flutter with hope, a feeling I hadn't felt for a very long time.

"G'night, Yama. I…love…you."

A/N: Good? Bad? Review please/looks at readers with a big smile/ I've established my favorite nickname for Yama-chan (Yay!) so REVIEW!


	11. New Nicknames and Bad Memories Taichi

Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine… unfortunately.

When I woke up the next morning, it was as if sand had been dumped under my eyelids. Groaning, I sat up in bed when I was startled by an unexpected noise at the door.

"Hey sleepyhead, so you're finally awake, eh?" Yamato was leaning against the doorframe, wearing a tight black shirt and a pair of gray sweatpants that were hanging at his hips, exposing about two inches of pale flesh. "Feeling slightly better?" He came in to sit at the edge of the bed and I shrugged, turning away from the (strangely) tantalizing sight.

"I suppose I am. It's nice to wake up to a friendly face, you know?" At this, he laughed slightly, the sound twinkling in the air. It was a nice sound, his laugh.

"It's always a good feeling. Come on then, out of bed. I'm making pancakes." He jumped off the bed and sashayed gracefully to the door, humming an unfamiliar tune to himself.

"Hey," I called and he turned with an inquisitive look, "Yamato, thanks." It was strange but I thought that I saw a look of sorrow flash on his face when I said his name before he grinned so happily that I thought I had imagined the whole thing.

"No thanks needed, Tai-chan. You're not a guest so none of that, okay? I'm happy to do it. Friends, remember?" he left and ten minutes later, I joined him at the table where a heaping stack of pancakes was waiting for me.

"Smells good, Yamato," I said, digging in.

"Uh, Tai?" he spoke up suddenly and I noticed that he wasn't eating, just watching me eat. When I acknowledged him, he went on, "It's a stupid question but—do you remember if you said anything last night? I mean, you called me something and I wasn't sure if maybe you were just dreaming or—it's nothing really. I was just wondering…" he trailed off and ran his hand through that stylishly messy blonde hair of his. He was making no sense and apparently, my confusion showed because he said hurriedly, "Never mind, Tai. Just forget about it."

We ate in silence and, when we were finished, tried to come to a conclusion about what to do for the rest of the day. In the end, we stayed at home, watching stupid movies and laughing. In the afternoon, the doorbell rang. Yamato paused the old black-and-white movie we had been watching and ran to get the door, pulling at the hem of his shirt to cover those two inches of skin.

"Hello, Yamato," I heard that familiar voice and smiled. Soon after, Kari came into the room, a shy look on her face. "Hey, Tai."

"Kari." It took only a second before she had flung herself at me, clinging to my neck.

"Oh, Tai, I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. He was so angry. He kept screaming that he'd seen you with another guy—that you had been on a _date_ with another guy. I—I tried to tell him that—," she gasped suddenly, pulling away from me, "Oh god, Tai, did he hurt you?"

"Nothing so bad that I couldn't take it." She gave me a horrified look and I scoffed, "Come on, Kar. You can't honestly believe that he's never hit me before. How do you think I broke my arm?" I looked ruefully at the appendage, glad that the cast had been taken off some days before.

"Are you okay, Tai?" Without waiting for an answer, she turned to Yamato, who was standing by the door, looking uncomfortable. "Is he okay, Yamato?" His blue eyes looked thoughtful for a moment and he tilted his head, watching us through the locks that tumbled over his forehead.

"He should be just fine, Miss Kari," he smiled reassuringly. That was enough for her and she nodded.

"I should go now, Tai. It's his day off and I snuck out of the house to find you. He'll be looking for me soon," she inched toward the door, obviously reluctant to leave. "I'll be back whenever I can manage it, okay?" I waved at her, forcing a smile for her benefit and she left. The two of us were quiet and Yamato hesitantly approached me, perching himself at the other end of the couch. I looked down, unable to meet that penetrating stare.

"Yamato, do you ever get—I mean, do you ever feel like—like you want something but you know you can't have it?" I fiddled with the edge of the afghan that was draped over the back of the couch. He turned to look at me, a thoughtful look in his eyes. I studied him closer and realized that there was ill-veiled sadness behind that look.

"Yes, Tai, I do." A rueful smile appeared on his face. "All the time." He stared into space for a moment, lost in a memory of something that I could not imagine.

"Like what?" I asked, knowing that I was prying and wondering if he would shut me out, as he was so capable of doing at a moment's notice. He chuckled at me and I took that to be a good sign, watching him hopefully.

"Ah, well, that's for me to know and for you not to…" he trailed off and sobered up, the laugh disappearing from his face. "Seriously, though, there are things that I wish I could take back, do over, never experience, or experience again," he shrugged, "but it's futile to feel that way about things that will never happen. Don't dwell on it. I made that mistake a while past and—it's not pretty, trust me."

"Yamato, have you ever been in love?" It was a random question and Ivoiced it without thinking. As soon as it was out, I could have hit myself; it was a personal question and I had no right to ask anything of that nature. Yamato had done so much for me already and I was in no mood to make him upset. Attempting to pry too far into his personal life was a surefire way to direct his temper toward me, that beast that flared up so suddenly and without warning that its attack left one completely stunned.

"I don't know," he replied, guardedly. "I may have been but—it ended," a pained expression flashed across his face, "rather badly." His voice dropped to a whisper and he put a hand to his left shoulder, rubbing distractedly. I watched him apprehensively for a moment, not saying anything, waiting for him to speak. "Have you?" he asked, his voice normal.

"Nope," I said, "there hasn't been anyone right for me. Not yet, anyway."

"Ah, so you don't like Sora?" he elbowed me in the ribs and grinned. "I would have thought you would. You two seem to know each other. And she certainly cares about you a lot."

"We've grown up together!" I retorted, making a face. "I care about her but I wouldn't even think of her that way. She's like my sister." Yamato nodded, a knowing twinkle in his eye and a smirk hovering around his lips. "I'm serious!" I argued, knowing that the more vehemently I denied it, the less he was going to believe me. So I huffed and sat back on the couch, sulking. He said something and I turned a deaf ear to him. My indignation was somewhat curbed when my stomach growled, and he laughed outright.

"Guess it's time to eat, eh? I'll be right back, we can eat and finish the movie at the same time." He disappeared into the kitchen, leaving me to think about how nice of a sound his laugh was. To my relief, Yamato returned quickly, holding the phone.

"Chinese takeout on the way," he announced, throwing himself onto the couch again though, this time, he was considerably closer. "So, what say you to finishing this movie?"

"Ok, just to clear it up—he's renting out his apartment to his bosses so they can fuck their mistresses?"

"Must you put it so crassly?" Yamato sighed. "But yes, it's so they can continue their illegal—oh don't look so surprised, Tai, being an adulterer in those days was illegal." The doorbell rang and he went to answer it, bringing a bag full to bursting with greasy Chinese food. We divided it up and began to eat as the movie played. The room was littered with Styrofoam boxes, some with half-eaten contents by the time the movie ended.

"Shut up and deal (1)," Yamato giggled, mimicking the last line of the movie. "God, I love it. It's romantic without all the slobber."

"You're such a girl." I laughed when he stuck out his tongue at methen yawned and he jumped to his feet.

"Oh, I'm sorry, you're tired."

"Yeah, I'm so tired that I can't _possibly_ wheel myself to my room," I replied, draping languorously over the arm of the couch. "I suppose I'll have to sleep here tonight."

"No, we can't have that, you'll be sore and then we won't be able to get an early start tomorrow. Here, lemme help you there," Yamato scooped me up without a moment's thought and carried me to my room. "Good night, Tai," he said, as he walked out the door, his slim fingers trailing against the doorframe.

"Good night, Yama," I yawned. His smile widened slightly and he left the room humming, closing the door behind him and plunging me in utter darkness. It took a few moments for it to sink in that I had unconsciously shortened his name. I rolled it around on my tongue and figured that, since he didn't protest, I was more comfortable calling him by a nickname rather than his full name. Besides, Yama had a nice ring to it. Somehow, the nickname suited him perfectly, in a way that I couldn't explain.

The next day, we were taking a walk—well, he was walking and I was rolling—around the park when an unfamiliar voice called out his name.

"Yamato-chan!"

"Nagasaki-sensei," he replied stiffly, bowing his head. "I'm sorry for rushing off this way but I have an appointment and I must get going. Good bye, sensei." After the encounter, he led me to his hideout where he set me down on a rock then curled up in a ball on the grass. He stayed that way for a while and I was beginning to wonder if he had fallen asleep when I heard a sniffle and a hiccup.

"Yama?" I asked, leaning over and touching his shoulder. He jerked away from me, looking up with blue eyes as tempestuous as a stormy sea. "Yama? What's—what's wrong?" He shook his head at me but one tear rolled down his face. "Hey," I said, sliding off the rock to sit by him, "you can tell me."

"Seeing him brings back bad memories," he gulped, wiping at the tear. "I hate him!" He burst out vehemently, pounding a hand on a rock as he curled back into his ball. I put a hand on his shoulder and felt him shaking violently.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, at a loss. He turned to me and smiled sadly, wiping away the tears that left shiny trails down his face. Without warning, he leaned forward and buried his face in my chest, snuggling close. Instinctively, if not awkwardly, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly, anything to stop that awful shaking. He was the one who was strong, who was cheerful, who had already learned so much from life and I hated to see him act that way, so vulnerable. A rush of anger filled me and I found myself hoping fiercely that we never run into that Nagasaki-sensei because I didn't like what he did to Yama.

"He was my father's friend," he mumbled suddenly, "and he liked to come over to our apartment and drink. I suppose he was always really interested in me but—when I was about fifteen, he convinced my dad to let him sign me up with the record company where he worked. He wanted me to be their next big star—especially since he said I was talented and 'exotic,' whatever that means. At first I thought it was really cool, you know? I was fifteen and famous, with all these girls—not to mention guys—running around after me, wanting me. They screamed my name and made me feel as though I was something. And at first, Nagasaki-sensei was pretty cool too. After all, he'd gotten me the job, right?" He paused andtook a deep breath, then began again.

"It wasn't long before he—started to get more controlling. He wanted me to do everything he wanted so I wouldn't ruin my image or hurt my voice or whatever. He used to get so mad at me if I did something wrong. He would scream at me and tell me that I was worthless and that he was doing me a huge favor. I was miserable but my parents enjoyed the luxury and I wanted to keep them happy. We went on tour so often I was barely there for Takeru when he was younger and when I was there, I was hardly ever able to see him. Nagasaki-sensei started—started pressuring me to do things I didn't want to do, with other people, with girls. He said that it would make—oh god, Taichi. I felt so ashamed. I was nothing to him—a money-making _thing_. And I went along with it until my parents died and I had to grow up so I could take care of my brother. He made me feel so worthless for so LONG." I hugged him tighter, burying my face in his soft, golden hair as he cried into my shirt. _But you're not worthless, Yama. Not by a long shot._

"Gah," he said after awhile, "I can't believe I just did that. I should apologize, Tai, I've probably ruined your whole afternoon," he gave me a wry smile.

"No, don't apologize. It's what friends are for, right?" He grinned broadly, a nice change from his previous mood. "But, Yama, you're okay, right? I mean—," I broke off awkwardly.

"Yeah, I saw a therapist when I was a teenager and she helped me get past a lot of my issues. I got past that awhile ago but—seeing him," he shrugged, "I can't help but remember, you know?" I nodded and he leaned into me again, sighing. "It's getting freakishly cold, don't you think?"

"I'm not cold," I sniffed haughtily, "but I'll keep you warm."

"Oh, would you?" he asked, pitching his voice ridiculously high and batting his eyelashes. "Arigato, sir." I laughed but, despite the joking, we made no effort to move from our position. We talked about less intense subjects and our conversation took on a more lighthearted tone when it started to rain heavily. Yamato cursed, jumped up, and hastily dumped me into my chair. We left the clearing, into torrents of rain. Yamato walked leisurely and, within a few minutes, we were both soaked to the bone.

"I love the rain, don't you?" he asked, grinning through the sheets of water.

"Yeah, but now I'm cold, so hurry up, will you?" I shivered. He complied and we reached home, shivering as we hurried through the door.

"Ah shit, I'm going to drip water all over the place," he muttered. Sure enough, we had already managed to create a large puddle near the door. "Oh well, you'll just have to help me mop up the water." I protested but he shrugged. "Come on, lazy bum, it's the least you could do." Once we had dried off and changed, I met him in the hall and he held out a mop, which I took reluctantly.

"It's not my fault we got soaking wet," I grumbled. He laughed and hit me upside the head with a sponge.

"Here," he said, ignoring me completely, "I'll push you around the house with the mop and you'll mop up all the water and then I'll go back with a towel and make sure everything's dry. See? You're not really doing anything besides holding the mop, so stop complaining."

"Then why do I have to help?"

"Because I said so, Yagami Taichi," he replied in mock anger, his hands on his slender hips. "Besides, it's more fun if I push you around with the mop than if I just do it by myself. At least I'll have someone to talk to while we do chores. And then I'll cook something and we can eat, how's that?" As we got down to cleaning up the water, we chatted about nothing in particular and, even when my part was finished, I followed him around and talked some more. And as I did so, I couldn't help but notice the way he moved his arms and changed his facial expressions to match the story he was telling. I noticed a whole lot of things about him that night but I pushed them to the back of my mind in panic and fear and hesitation.

(1): The line was taken from one of my favorite old movies in the world! Kudos and a cookie /holds up cookie/ to anyone who can guess what movie

A/N: So it's SPRING BREAK! And I have a ton of homework…but I suppose that's what I get for taking AP and Honors classes… UGH. Oh well, at least I'm updating. So you guys better do YOUR job and review. Cuz reviews make me happy. And the end of this chapter surprised me somewhat… Tai and Yama's relationship is moving faster than I thought… tsk tsk, both of them. But you can't really blame them. Such emotionally-unhappy childhoods… /sigh/ what I do to my Tai-chan and Yama-chan. Not exactly my greatest chapter and not my longest either… but I think Yama needs his turn to speak. With that said, good day to all of you and review!


	12. Hopeful Zeal Yamato

Disclaimer: these characters aren't mine. Except the ones who weren't in the original anime. Haha.

It was three in the morning and I couldn't sleep. I lay tossing and turning in the dark room until I'd had enough. I slid back the wood panel and walked into my library, figuring that, since I couldn't sleep, I might as well read and do something productive while I was at it. I could hear the wind against the window outside and watched as the trees beat gently against the glass, swaying to the breeze. Tai had a therapy session later on in the day and I wanted to be at my best so I _had_ to get to sleep. He was making progress and I knew that we were actually getting somewhere. Not just by the tiny little steps we had taken earlier on but by actual leaps and bounds. He was almost to the point where he could stand by himself for a short period of time and once his legs could support his weight, I knew it would only be a matter of time before he'd be able to walk again. He was so close and I was so proud of him for refusing to give up.

And then the thought occurred to me that he would move out, once he'd be able to walk on his own. After all, one of the reasons he'd moved in was that he couldn't afford an apartment, owing to the fact that it was hard for a man in a wheelchair to find a well-paying job. I was used to having him in the house, to not being alone in the morning or in the night, the witching hours of the day when the world seems so large and I seemed so small. There was comfort in knowing that there was a living human on the other side of the wall, that I wasn't alone and that the ghosts of my past couldn't come to haunt me so long as I was not alone. In any case, happy as I was that he was getting to the point of actually being able to walk again, I was also unwilling to face the fact that I'd have to get used to an empty house again.

"Aaarrgghh!" the yell and the loud bang that followed startled me out of my selfish reveries and I hurried to Tai's room to see what was wrong. He was on the floor, tangled in his sheets, fighting tooth and nail against an unseen assailant. His eyes were screwed shut and he was shouting at the top of his lungs and the whole sight was so unexpected and comical that I would have laughed if he didn't look so frightened, and I was instantly reminded of the late nights I used to spend, trying to get my younger brother to calm down after having another one of his infamously terrifying nightmares.

"_Takeru," I soothe, sitting on the bed, ever wary of his kicking legs. "Keru, wake up. Come on, it's me. It's Yama-chan." I reach out to him and rub his back; his eyes open and he looks at me with so much terror in his wide eyes that I cringe. For a moment, he is still trapped in his nightmare and he whimpers, shrinking away fro me when I lean in to give him a hug. "Hey kiddo, what's the matter?" I stop reaching for him and give him a wide smile instead._

"_Yama-chan?" he breathes softly as tears well in his eyes. Before I know it, his head is beneath my chin and his face is buried in my chest as he sobs away the fear. I don't say a word, simply hold him and rub his back and whisper his song to him, a song that I wrote especially for my little brother. We sit there, on his bed in the dark, and I hold him until he's no longer crying, until his breathing is calm and until he has slipped back into a dream. "Love you, Yama-chan." I kiss him on the forehead and lay him back down on the bed, making sure he is covered with his blankets. At least he can escape in his dreams._

"Tai! Tai, calm down!" I bent over him, half-unwilling to get any closer since his arms were still flailing wildly. I thought he was just being difficult until it dawned on me that he was probably still asleep. "Hey! Wake up!" His eyes snapped opened and his arms fell to his sides and he looked at me in bewilderment until he was able to take in his surroundings. It didn't register to him that he was half on the bed and half on the floor for a moment and when it did, he jerked his body so that he was flat on the floor, though still tangled in the sheets.

"Yama?" he panted, still trying to catch his bearings. "Whoa, what the hell am I doing on the floor?" He looked around him wildly, as if expecting to see a monster emerge from the depths of the shadows, come to eat him or hurt him. "What happened?"

"Beats me," I shrugged. "I just heard a loud thump, some yelling and, there you were. Want some help?" He didn't say anything so I gripped him under the armpits and hauled him into a sitting position on the bed. It was then that I realized he wasn't wearing anything and that, in his entanglement in the sheets, I had completely missed that fact. "Do you always sleep in the nude?" I asked, raising an eyebrow and desperately trying to keep my eyes from wandering over the sight of his naked body. He made a noncommittal noise in his throat and shrugged, his face turning bright red.

"No!" he insisted. "I—well—shit. I guess I was just so tired that I didn't want to get my clothes on." He ran his fingers through his hair, still avoiding my eyes. I chuckled and he turned, if possible, an even brighter red. "I don't normally sleep like that, Yama," he added, almost like an afterthought. He eyed me, waiting to see if I believed him.

"Right," I drawled, giving him a skeptical look.

"I don't!" he cried, clutching the sheets around him. "I just fell asleep like that. I don't know why and I don't know how." I laughed but it turned into a yawn and I figured I'd drop it for the time being, though I couldn't resist adding one last comment.

"In any case, go back to sleep, ye who sleep with no clothes on, and I shall try hard to gouge out my eyes in a desperate attempt to forget what I just saw." I went back to bed and lay down again. I was, if it was possible, even more awake than I had been before.

I woke up to the sound of my alarm and glared at the damn contraption. Of course, waking up meant that I had actually gotten to sleep and managed to ignore the picture of my patient naked in bed. In one of MY beds. Dammit, I had to keep reminding myself that he was a patient and that patient-therapist relationships were forbidden. I had never done it before and wasn't about to start now. Of course, I reasoned to myself as I stood, I hadn't even seen it coming. So it was probably because I had overestimated my willpower that I hadn't taken precautions to keep from liking Taichi. But it was really too easy.

"Uhm, hey, Yama? Could you come help me?" Taichi called from the other room, using his whiney tone which I knew meant that he was being too lazy to do something on his own.

"No!" I shouted back, sounding groggier than I really was. "Leave me alone, Tai. Do it yourself."

"But—but YAMA!" he wheedled, and I could practically hear the pout forming on his lips. "PWEASE, Yama-chan? PWEEEAAASSSEE?"

"God. Damn. It." I growled and flung away my bedcovers, completely unable to resist that voice and the thought of that puppy-dog look he was so damn good at doing. "What is it that you want, you little pussy? It had better be something good or else I'll—what the hell?" I stopped in the doorway and found him in his wheelchair, which was lying on its back. The chair itself was closed partway on his legs, keeping him in place. He looked at me, his face red from being in such an awkward position and I wondered how he'd managed to get himself into such a situation.

"I—think I sat down wrong and it kind of fell over on me," he explained, sheepishly, his voice slightly strangled. "Could—could you help me up?" He sounded overly polite as he struggled to maintain the last vestiges of his dignity. I stood in the doorway, not moving, and he shot me a glare that certainly would have killed me should looks be able to kill. I smothered a laugh and then sauntered over to him, maddeningly slow. He fidgeted some more and gave up with a groan.

"You look like a turtle, Tai," I chuckled.

"This isn't funny, Yamato!" he gasped, the strain of being in the strange position beginning to show on his face and voice. I burst out laughing but hastily flipped him upright. Once I had done so, he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths as the blood drained from his head.

"You okay?" I asked and his eyes flew open.

"Just a bit dizzy," he answered, grinning. "I'm fine." He turned the chair and headed for the bathroom, leaving me to shake my head and wonder after him.

* * *

"Hey, take it easy, Tai. You don't want to strain anything," I cautioned as he hoisted himself off the floor for the tenth time in a row. He glared at me, beads of sweat dripping from his brow. His arms quivered from the exertion of lifting all his weight from the floor. 

"Dammit, Yama, I can do this!" he snarled. Once he was in a standing position, he let go of the bar and stood on his own, swaying slightly. His legs began to shake after a few seconds before they gave way. He shouted as he fell, grabbing for the bar, but I caught him before he could hit the ground.

"Be careful, will you?" I grunted. I set him gently on the ground and flopped down beside him. "You're going to end up killing yourself at the rate you're going."

"Stop telling me to be careful! No pain no gain, that's my philosophy. If I have to push myself past my limits, then so be it. I can take it, Yama, I _can_." The look in those wide eyes was pleading and desperate. As though, somehow, by making me believe that he was capable that he could be capable. He was trembling and I was sure that some of the sweat running down his face was not sweat but tears. I shook my head, not calling him on it, and reached down to massage his cramping leg muscles.

"I know that. I'm fully aware of your boundless energy and your limitless zeal to reach your goal but you have to listen to me." I took his chin in my hands and forced him to look me in the eye, "You're not the athlete you were before and you have to be careful. Before, if your body was in pain, it was a sign that you were improving, that you _were_ reaching your goal. Now, that pain is your body's way of telling you to stop and rest for a bit. Got it?" I asked, gently shaking his face. He whined and pulled away from me but I saw the smile that tugged at his lips before he turned away. "Okay, come on. We'll keep going for just a bit. If you start cramping though, that's it. We're done for today. Deal?"

"Yeah. Sounds good, Yama," he nodded, smiling brightly and reminding me of a child told he could stay out five minutes more. I stood apart from him, near enough to catch him before he hit the ground but far enough that he felt he was standing on his own.

"Ready?" he didn't answer me, merely nodded and grunted as he prepared to stand. Once he took his hands away from the bar and was standing completely on his own, I tensed, ready to catch him if he should fall. He swayed but steadied himself against the bar before letting go again. The seconds ticked by and I was sweating almost as much as he was, though from nerves rather than physical exertion.

"Ten seconds, Tai," I whispered, more to myself than to him. "Ten seconds down." After thirty more seconds, he let out a half-moan, half-whimper and allowed himself to fall. I was ready, though I only just managed to catch him and lost my balance in the process so that I landed hard on my ass, with him on top of me.

"Ow," he groaned and I detected tears on his voice. "That hurt."

"Tell me about it. You must weight twice as much as I do." I sat up as he sputtered in protest at my comment and shifted his weight from my chest to my lap, my arms automatically encircling his body. "That was great, though. Almost a minute. We'll probably start readying your muscles for walking." I chuckled, "You think this is hard? Wait'll we get to that." He leaned into my chest, either too tired to care or not even noticing what position we were currently in. I rested my chin against his shoulder and spoke into his ear. "You'll get there, Tai. I promise."

"So I'm really doing it?" The hope and wonder in his voice were evident and my heart almost broke to hear it. "I'm really doing it?"

"Yes, Yagami Taichi," I breathed, my lips almost brushing his ear, "you're really doing it." He made a funny noise deep in his throat, like a purr, and I felt his muscles relax.

"Thank you, Yama. Thanks," he said with such sincerity that I smiled, my eyes closed.

And I memorized the smell of his hair and the smell of his skin, grass and sweat and soap. I memorized the feel of his hair tickling the side of my face, my ear, and my nose. We sat there, in the sun that filtered through the windows, and I memorized his presence in my arms. And I realized that, much as I wasn't supposed to, much as I was bound by rules and codes, much as I had sworn I wouldn't, I realized that it felt right. No matter that I couldn't allow myself to get used to it: I realized that I already had.

A/N: so this chapter wasn't as long as I wanted it to be. Sorry it's been SUCH a long time since I last updated. Life kind of ran away with me and there was NO time for me to sit down and write anything. At all. A fact that was quite painful. I probably won't update very much over the summer… as I think I've been banned from relaxation (since my grades took a nosedive…stupid calculus and physics classes) and I've got a lot of summer homework for my Advanced Placement classes. Gah.


	13. Confessions Taichi

Disclaimer: So this isn't mine. Hehe.

"Hey Sora," I called and she left the park bench to meet me, her smile so wide that her eyes crinkled at the corners. "Thanks for meeting me here." She shook her head, indicating that there was no trouble.

"Um, Tai? Just call me when you guys are done and I'll come get you." Yama patted me on the shoulder and gave Sora a smile before wandering away, whistling a tune that seemed vaguely familiar. There was a short pause and we stared awkwardly at each other.

"So, is there any—reason why you called?" Sora asked, finally. "I thought you were upset with me." I cringed. The last time we'd met was months ago, and I'd ended up abruptly hailing a taxi, leaving her in the park with Yamato.

"That's why I called you." I took a deep breath before plunging forward, "I didn't mean to—um, I really—ah shit," I cursed as I tried to form an acceptable apology. She laughed quietly and laid a hand on mine.

"You suck at apologies, Tai," she teased, "but I accept it anyway." Her smile grew sad and she tilted her head, as though studying me from a different angle. "I understand. Just—try not to push me away again, okay? I've really missed you lately. _And_ I've been really worried about you." She brought me to the bench and sat beside it, smiling at me all the while. "So? What's up?"

"Yama's been bugging me to make amends lately and I know that I should have apologized awhile ago but since the accident, I've become really good at holding grudges. But I know that I was wrong and well, I decided to listen to him. And well—I'm living with him now."

"What? Since when?"

"Since that father of mine kicked me out of the house. Apparently, he saw me with Yama and jumped to the conclusion that I was secretly dating him. You know how he is about those things. Damn bastard," I muttered angrily.

"He didn't break anything else, did he?" Sora asked and, when I looked up, she had a murderous expression on her face. Funny how Yama had asked the same thing. I shook my head, thinking to myself that I was extremely lucky to have found friends who cared so much for me.

"No. He just hit me. I'm fine though, the bruises faded awhile ago." I shrugged and she stared at me, mouth open and eyes flashing angrily. "I'm _fine_," I whispered urgently. "Don't worry about me." She seemed to consider protesting for a moment but shook her head, her lips curling into a smile despite herself. The anger had faded but I knew she was simply suppressing it for my sake. She had a way of doing that and I was grateful when she let a subject drop. She knew when to press a matter and, conversely, when to let it go. We had known each other for so long, been friends for so long, that we had learned how to read each other. When it came to touchy subjects, such as my father's abuse and her mother's drunken spells, we knew, as if by instinct, when it was okay to talk about it. Previously, I had always taken it for granted that she wouldn't run to social services when I showed up at her door with a split lip or yet another black eye but now—now I was immensely grateful that I could trust her not to bring in any outside forces to worsen the situation.

"How long has he been 'Yama,' huh, Tai?" she teased, elbowing me.

"Shut up, it's simpler to just say Yama instead of Yamato. And I feel less formal." I made a face at her, though I felt a blush rising on my cheeks.

"Aww. I think it's cute, Tai," she laughed, winking at me, and I knew she noticed the blush. "You simply felt _so_ grateful to him for letting you live with him that you _had_ to give him a cute nickname, didn't you?"

"It's not like that!" I burst out, embarrassed beyond reason. "It just kind of happened. I dunno, it was unconscious and he didn't say anything."

"Well, of course not. He probably really likes it," she poked me, her eyes glinting with amusement at my discomfort. I glared knives at her but she took no notice and continued to tease me as I sputtered protests, finally throwing my hands up into the air. I turned away from her in a mock temper. "Oh come on, you know I'm just kidding, right?" she asked, poking me in the back. I grunted and she continued to poke me, her fingers tripping lightly to my side. I moved away from them; she knew _damn_ well that I was ticklish.

"Tai!" Both our heads turned at the sound of the familiar voice. "Hey! Long time no see!" I was suddenly tackled by a bush of reddish-brown hair and, before I knew it, I was being choked to death.

"Nice to see you too, Dai. Now, if you would be so kind," I pushed him away gently, "you're choking me." He let go of my neck, smiling sheepishly but widely nonetheless. "So, how have you been, Dai? Living up to my expectations on the soccer field?"

"Tch," he scoffed, "more than that." We heard the sound of his name and turned; I saw Kevin running toward us, a water gun in his hand. Dai shrieked and ducked behind me, and I was hit in the face with a splash of water.

"You are _dead_, Kevin," I shouted, once I'd pushed my bangs out of the way. He laughed loudly then ran back the way he came, looking over his shoulder as he did so. "Hey Dai, are you guys still, you know, together?" He smiled wistfully and then looked away, in the direction Kevin had run.

"Yeah," he nodded. "We have to hide it though. His parents know and they're pretty cool about it but if his aunts and uncles ever found out, there would be hell to pay." He sat down in front of me, his legs crossed, resting his elbows on his knees and his head on his hands. "God, what I'd give if I could just—just hold his hand out in public." Dai sighed deeply and looked up at me and Sora.

I didn't know quite what to say, since I was still deciding how I felt about the whole issue. Yama's perspective and his openness made perfect sense. They were people too and they deserved to be treated as such. However, the notion that they were disgusting and unnatural had been pounded into my brain since I could remember. My father's intolerance of them was evident; after all, he _had_ kicked me out of the house without so much as a warning, simply because he suspected that I was gay. And I hadn't even been doing anything. Any, and every, time we saw a gay couple walking down the street, he would curl his lip in disgust and treat us to a long rant about what he would like to do to "those faggots" and for a long time, probably due to childish adoration for his views, I agreed with him.

Once I reached puberty and I started seeing him for who he truly was, I began to rebel against his ideals. We argued heatedly about the subject of gay marriage, his views stubbornly staying the same and mine completely the opposite of his. Every time he said something, I countered with the opposite, if only to piss him off. Since I'd found out about Daisuke and Kevin, I began to realize that the stereotypes I'd held in my head didn't tell the whole truth. Daisuke was still the same hyperactive kid I'd always known and Kevin was still a rough-and-tumble defense player.

"Well bud, at least your parents are completely fine with it and his parents are getting there," Sora reached down and ruffled his hair. He whined and lay back, out of her reach.

"You know, Yagami Taichi, we've all been really worried about you. How come you haven't called us back? We've all been trying to get a hold of you for a while."

"Sorry about that, kiddo," I said, sighing. "Since I haven't been living at home lately, your messages haven't been getting to me. And I've been caught up in my own little world of," I paused, looking for the right world, "turmoil."

"And you couldn't have told us?" he asked, his voice accusing and hurt.

"I'm sorry. It just didn't occur to me that you would care so much." He sat up at those words and looked at me, his eyes wide and hurt, his mouth open.

"Didn't think that we'd care so much? That _I _wouldn't care that much?" he hissed. "Of _course_ we'd care. How _dare_ you, Tai! We're your _friends_, dammit! That's what friends fucking do. You'd worry about any of us if we'd been the ones hurt, right?"

"I'm _sorry_," I pleaded, "I really am. But you have to understand that I haven't been living at home. Hell, I was kicked out, okay? My father disowned me and I'm sorry if it didn't occur to me to tell you guys because I was still trying to deal with it. I really _am_ sorry." He studied me for a second and then sighed, his anger visibly dissipating as obviously as a balloon losing its air.

"Damn you to hell, Yagami Taichi. Why the fuck can't I stay mad at you?"

"Because you love me too much," I laughed. "But seriously, you guys are the best friends a guy could have. Sorry if I haven't exactly been appreciative." Daisuke chuckled and launched at me, hugging me yet again.

"Apology accepted, but next time something big like getting kicked out of your house happens, you had better let us know."

"So Tai," Sora turned to me, a glitter in her eyes that I couldn't decipher, "how's Yama?" Before I could even open my mouth to remind her that she'd just seen him and that only I was allowed to call him by that nickname, I was interrupted by a triumphant shout.

"You call him '_Yama_'?" Daisuke asked, an incredulous ring to his tone. "Is that your little lover's name for him?" he winked suggestively. Before I could answer, he whooped and then hollered, "Sora, you owe me twenty bucks."

"Not yet," she protested. "We don't know if Yamato has gotten into Tai's pants yet or vice versa. Has he?" she turned on me. My mouth dropped open and I was struck dumb for a few seconds before I exploded.

"You guys have been placing _bets_ on whether or not I'm going to have sex with my physical therapist?" I shouted, waving my arms around. Sora hid an amused smile behind her hand and I could tell that her shoulders were shaking from the laughter she was trying to hold in. Daisuke was just laughing outright.

"Well, it's not just us, Tai. It's the whole team," he informed me, laughter shaking every syllable. "They all think you guys are going to: a)end up with each other, eventually, b)end up with each other, soon, or c)are already together. There's only one person who thinks your completely and totally and unshakably straight. And that's Sora. But in _my_ personal opinion and everyone else's for that matter, it's just wishful thinking." He winked at her and she opened her mouth in outrage.

"Dammit, you guys! What the hell is wrong with you?" I asked, though with no real venom in my voice.

"Oh come on, lighten up, Tai. Besides, I think you guys would make a cute couple," Dai said.

"Who would make a cute couple?" I jumped when Yama appeared from behind me. His eyes flickered between me and Sora. A grin grew on his face, though I noticed that his eyes grew stormy and just a bit sad.

"We were just talking about Taichi's love life, Yama—to," Dai replied slyly, winking at me. "And we were just saying how he'd make a cute couple with," he paused and glanced at me meaningfully.

"No one of concern to you, Yama," I cut in nervously. If he were to find out they thought we'd end up together, I didn't know what I'd do; probably die of embarrassment or develop brain damage from all the blood rushing to my face. "Can we go eat now?"

"Only if you tell me what's going on," he said, smiling wickedly at me. Daisuke's grin widened and Sora laughed out loud. I hid my face in my hands and moaned, shaking my head.

"Well, Yamato, we were just saying how we think that you and Tai would make a really cute couple. You know, because both of you are so alike and yet so different." I glared daggers at them through my fingers and I knew that my head would explode any minute now from the heat my blush was generating.

"Damn you all to hell," I muttered quietly to myself; no one heard. There was a short silence and then Yama began to chuckle good-naturedly. I looked at him in horror and he was shaking his head and laughing.

"You guys think so, do you?" he asked, still shaking his head; whether from disbelief, incredulity, or amusement, I couldn't tell. Daisuke nodded meaningfully, seeming to communicate something to Yama through that look. I heard a harsh intake of breath and looked over to see that, though Yama was paler than usual, he was as cheerful as ever. "Alright then, Tai, let's go, shall we?"

"Finally!" I sighed in relief, ready to go. "I'll see you guys later, okay?"

"Sure, see you guys later," Sora said, giving me a hug and Yamato a peck on the cheek. "Thank you for knocking some sense into him."

"It was no problem, I assure you," he laughed, brushing off the thanks. "Couldn't let a great friendship go to waste."

"Hey, Yamato?" Daisuke called as we walked away. He stopped in his tracks and looked over his shoulder at my younger friend. "You really ought to say something. The sooner the better, don't you think?" I didn't understand the message and, from the looks of it, neither did Yama, who tilted his head as if confused. Daisuke moved his head and, again, I had the feeling that he was trying to tell Yama _something, _though, what that something was, I didn't know. We decided to eat at a tiny, mom-and-pop Italian restaurant that Yamato had apparently wanted to try for a long time. Once we were seated and settled with our drinks and utensils, Yama looked at me, the corners of his lips tugging upward, though he maintained a serious expression.

"What's this, Tai? You were discussing the possibilities of a sexual relationship with me? I didn't know you had it in you."

"Excuse me?" I spluttered. "It wasn't _me_. It was Sora and Daisuke and the rest of the team. _Not_ me," I shook my head vehemently. He sat back and took a drink of his soda, raising his eyebrows. My mouth opened angrily but I closed it, not quite knowing what to say. He looked away from me then, and I took the opportunity to study him for a moment. There was a slight blush coloring his cheeks and his mouth was pulled in, as though he were biting the inside of cheek. His eyes were still stormy; they had gone a dark, brooding grey-blue. He looked up and caught me watching him. Instead of throwing me one of his glares, as he did often enough, he flushed a darker red and looked away. And a thought suddenly hit me.

"You know, Yama, you don't seem as bothered by their speculations as I would think you'd be. I mean, any _other_ guy would be pissed that someone would dare suggest he'd get in bed with another guy but you just chuckle and tease _me_ about it."

"I've got to use the restroom, Tai. I'll be right back." He stood suddenly, almost knocking his soda over and was already halfway to the bathroom before he was finished with his sentence. I didn't say anything, simply sat back and waited for him to come back. A few minutes later, he sat down and began fiddling with his straw, refusing to meet my eyes.

"You know, this afternoon, I got the feeling that Sora and Daisuke knew something that I didn't. And I kinda would like to know what it is, seeing as you're my roommate and all." I watched as a flurry of emotions played across his face; first irritation, then anger, and finally, something I couldn't quite place. He looked up and locked gazes with me and I saw a look of dread in those blue orbs. He sighed and sat back, arms crossed over his chest defensively.

"I should have told you this before, I think," he said quietly, hanging his head, "so, I'm really sorry."

"Just _tell_ me already!" I said, exasperated.

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"_YES_," I nodded my head vehemently. He opened his mouth, and then closed it, focusing his gaze on a minute speck on the table. "Yama." He looked up at me and his eyes welled with tears.

"Tai, I'm bisexual."

A/N: So that's in the air (finally). How will Taichi react…I'm still not sure. Review and I will GLOMP you (in a good way).


	14. Mistakes and Consequences Yamato

Disclaimer: Not mine.

For a long, heart-wrenching moment, he simply stared at me. His mouth was open and he sat, frozen where he was, as he stared at me. I bit my lip and prayed, silently, that he would suddenly smile and all would be well. I reached out to him. He leaned away from me, and then I was the one who froze, my hand in mid-air, still in the motion of reaching. My heart dropped and my stomach clenched. We stared at each other for that long moment before he spoke.

"Yamato," he paused, took a breath, opened his mouth, and paused again, "why—why didn't you tell me this before?" The accusation in his voice stabbed and I had to close my eyes and compose myself before I could answer him.

"I—I don't know," I whispered, nearly in tears. "I just—I thought that if you knew about—about me—about my lifestyle, you wouldn't want to be my—my friend." A flurry of emotions passed through his face and I saw anger, betrayal, and, for the slightest moment, disgust. "I'm so," I began, wanting to apologize, reaching out again.

"Don't. Just—don't." His command stopped my hand and my heart and I bit down on my tongue so hard that I tasted blood, nearly choking on the coppery taste that I loathed.

"Right," I nodded, dropping my hand to my lap.

"I'm going to call Sora and see if I can stay at her place tonight," he said, a tone to his voice that I didn't understand. "Just leave me alone for now," he paused for a second, "Yamato." I nodded again, my heart constricting painfully. He said something else but all I heard was the echo of my full name, pounding my ears and in my chest, mocking and taunting me. All I could bring myself to notice was the harsh formality that he used, the ice in his voice as he dismissed me from his life, from the warmth that was his friendship. I was amazed at how quickly things had gone wrong; just hours before, we were friends, roommates and I looked forward to getting to know him even better.

"Right." My voice came out in a harsh whisper and I stood, biting my lip to keep myself from crying. The effort was futile; as I opened my mouth to say goodbye, the first of many tears splashed down my face. "I guess I'll—see you." He made a disinterested sound in his throat and I walked away so quickly that I almost bumped into the waitress who was bringing our food. As I passed the front, I slipped a wad of bills to the hostess and indicated that it was sufficient enough to cover our bill as well as a hefty tip to her and any waitress who had served us that night. I walked out of the building and kept walking. I was nearly blind as I stumbled through the streets, not knowing where my feet were taking me.

I walked down an unfamiliar road, wandering to who-knows-where, when I passed that nightclub where Sora had taken us after that triumphant soccer game months ago. Figuring I could at least drown my sorrows in a glass of beer or something stronger, I entered the club. At the bar, I was trying to signal for something alcoholic when a strong arm wrapped around my waist.

"Can I get a glass of beer for this beautiful creature over here?" A very male voice called, so close I could feel his breath on the side of my neck. Quick as a flash, I had the frosty drink in my hand.

"Cheers," I raised it to the man beside me and downed it in one gulp. I called for another and yet another and I was barely finished with my fourth drink before he had pulled me to the dance floor, a song playing a sensuous beat in the background. One of his hands rested on my shoulder and the other dipped to the small of my back, pulling me against his hips. My hands held tight to either side of his narrow hips and we moved to the beat, staring deep into each other's eyes. A faster song began to play and soon, he had spun me around and ground his hips against me. I reached behind my head and locked my hands around the back of his neck and I could feel his breath, hot against my neck, as we gave into carnal passions.

In the back of my brain, I knew that I wasn't supposed to do this and that I would regret it the next day but somehow, the four glass of alcohol I'd downed were already clouding my judgment. All I knew was that I wanted this man to fuck me long and hard and maybe, just maybe, I would be able to forget what had happened earlier with Tai. I turned around, chest to chest with him now, and ground my hips against mine, felt his erection, then threw my head back and moaned. He leaned in and pressed his lips to my neck and I knew that I'd have a hickey the next day, not that it mattered at the moment. We stared at each other for a beat, then we were locked in a kiss. In my months of self-imposed celibacy, I'd forgotten how absolutely _torturously good_ all of it felt. We broke away, breathing hard, and he grinned.

"Let's get outta here?" he asked, already pulling me toward the exit. I nodded and followed him; we were out of the club and in the cool night air when he pushed me into a dark alley with a low growl. I was pressed against a cold brick wall and his mouth was on mine and his tongue was battling with mine and I could feel his muscles tense with anticipation.

"Wait," I breathed, "not here. Let's go someplace else." He nodded curtly. Five minutes later, we had checked into a motel and were walking toward our room, the key clutched tightly in his hands, our shoulders bumping as we practically ran down the narrow corridor. The door had barely flung open and closed behind us when I was on my back, the sheets of the bed already messed up. His body was resting on mine and I wanted him, _lusted_ for him. His hands lifted my shirt off and played with my stomach, my chest, my nipples and I moaned loudly, arching up my body to meet him. My pants were discarded as I pulled of his shirt, our lips never losing contact, then his jeans were off and I could feel him on me.

He flipped me onto my stomach and I gripped the metal bars of the headboard, waiting for him, almost crying from that all-consuming lust. He entered me and we both groaned in unison; his hands gripped my waist, hard, as he slammed his body into mine, as I arched back to meet him, all the better to feel him deeper within me. _God_, I wasn't prepared for it to feel so fucking good. I cried out, a keening moan, as I reached my climax and, seconds later, his hands squeezed my skin and he pushed himself into me so hard that I saw stars. He shouted loudly, and then he was spent.

"Damn," he whispered, kissing the back of my neck reverently. "_Damn_, you're hot." He released my waist and rolled over onto his back, a hand to his forehead. I turned to him and he smiled at me. "Care to show me what else you can do?" he asked, pushing a lock of dirty blonde hair out of his face.

"Of course," I purred, and climbed on top of him, allowing my instincts to take over.

The next morning, I awoke to the sound of the shower turning on. I looked around me, trying to ignore the pounding ache in my head and the searing pain in my lower region. My clothes were strewn all over the floor though _his_ clothes were gone. He must have taken them into the shower with him. _DAMMIT_, my mind shrieked and I buried my face in my hands, trembling. I had done it again. I'd done it again. I couldn't believe it. _I'm sorry. _Tears welled in my eyes and I scrambled frantically around the room, trying to gather up every stitch of clothing I had worn the night before.

"Leaving so soon?" I froze at the sound of his voice and turned to look at him. He had a towel wrapped around his hips and was watching me with a hungry expression. "Weren't you at least planning to say goodbye?" He sauntered over, a smirk on his face, and leaned in, claiming my lips with his.

"Please," I whispered, breaking contact with him, "stop."

"You seemed to enjoy that last night. Or was I just imagining it?" His eyes flashed angrily as he stood over me, glaring. "Oh come on," his voice became sweet, oozing with honey, "you can't leave just yet. We had so much fun, I don't think I'm quite finished with you." My eyes widened and I struggled away from him, hyper-aware that most of my clothes were still scattered around the dirty room. He followed me and threw me on the bed, snarling, "I just said I wasn't finished with you so you'll lie there on your stomach and do as I say. Or else…" his voice trailed off and I felt the cool metal of a knife at my neck.

I went still and allowed his hands to roam over my body as I thought quickly. My heart pounded in my chest and I knew that if I wasn't able to get away soon, I never would. But I could hardly run stark naked out into the street in the middle of the day. He sat on my legs, preventing me from moving, and I could feel him growing hard. He wasn't going to hold back and I really couldn't have him do anything else to me. I rolled over onto my back and he stiffened, flashing the knife again, but I put on my best sultry smile and licked my lips, bringing my hands to his chest. He grinned and set it down again, though I noticed he was careful to keep it within easy reach. I sat up slowly and he let me, his eyes excited. As soon as his weight was off my legs, I kneed him as hard as I was able in the groin and he doubled over. His hands grabbed for the knife but, in his pain, he missed and I knocked it out of the way. He scrambled after it as I went for my pants. Never had I put on a piece of clothing as fast as I did that moment but I was still too late. He had me in his grasp and the knife was digging into my neck. I whimpered quietly when I felt blood dripping down my chest.

Just when he was laughing triumphantly, I brought my elbows back with as much force as I could handle. His hands swung away and he cut my collarbone so deeply that, when I glanced at the wound, I could see the white glint of bone. I staggered away from him and threw open the door, squinting in the bright sunlight. I could hear him coming after me and my head screamed at me to run. My shoulder ached and I could hardly breathe from the fear but I ran as fast as I could.

I had no idea where I was going and knew that I was hopelessly lost but I had to keep running. I almost cried with relief when I came to a busy part of town, a familiar area, and I ran to the nearest shop. I must have looked a mess, bleeding as I was and wearing nothing but a pair of now-bloody pants. I heard a scream and then a business-like voice talking on the phone, calling an ambulance. I felt a pair of arms grab my waist and I struggled fiercely, shrieking loudly enough that they let go of me. There was another shout, the crash of breaking glass, and then everything went dark.

A/N: O.O /stares at angry mob brandishing pitchforks/ Um, don't kill me? So that was an interesting chapter. I wasn't expecting that. I know, I know…I'm the writer but, in all honesty, this last chapter took a sad, depressing…surprising detour. But don't worry, things will start moving now... I hope... Review! I love all my readers who give me feedback. So, there's a nice little button waiting at the bottom of your screen, just _begging_ for you to click it and do as it says /wink/ Until my next update…


	15. Denial Taichi

Disclaimer: Haha, they're not mine. I just choose to do with them as I please. These characters must hate me… /sweatdrop/

A/N/sigh/ Well, I wrestled my lagging brain into working. My muse/beta (who is a real person) has abandoned me…but not to worry! The voices in my head are just _clamoring_ to be my new muse… not that they're of much use but it's worth the try. haha

After Yamato left the restaurant, I sat stunned, staring at my plate of rapidly cooling food, trying (futilely) to get my chaotic thoughts in order. I left when the waitress let me know that the bill had already been paid. I rolled around the park, thinking and pondering the conversation. At around three, I got cold and called up Sora. She answered the phone rather grumpily and snarled into the phone; I had apparently woken her up. When I asked if she could stay, she became instantly alert and, by the time she asked me where I was, she was already out the door. She picked me up two hours later.

She answered the phone rather grumpily and snarled into the phone; I had apparently woken her up. When I asked if she could stay, she became instantly alert and, by the time she asked me where I was, she was already out the door. She picked me up two hours later.

I arrived at Sora's meager apartment, ignoring her quizzical looks and her concerned questions. I simply sat in her living room and stared at the blank television screen; I didn't even answer her when she asked if I wanted some hot chocolate or tea.

"Alright Yagami, you tell me what the hell is going on or I'm going to chuck you out of my house," Sora snapped, sitting directly in my line of vision, an angry look on her face.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"You want a place to sleep for awhile?" She asked, standing and going to the door, which she opened. "Well?" I sighed, knowing that I was backed into a corner.

"Fine," I sighed again and waited for her to sit next to him. "He told me—I don't even like to say it—he told me that he's bisexual." As I said the word, I felt my nose crinkling involuntarily. Sora's mouth opened and she looked so furious that I was sure she would start yelling. Her next action, however, took me by surprise.

"How dare you," she hissed, and slapped me. Hard. "Two of your best friends are gay and you freak out on him because he's BISEXUAL?"

"It's not the same!" I protested, holding my cheek, which was stinging. "I've been living with him! _Living_ with him!"

"And?" she asked haughtily, raising a disdainful eyebrow at me.

"And! He's bisexual, I'm a guy, Sora! Hello?" I retorted, all the while feeling guilty for what I was saying.

"So?" She crossed her arms and glared at me. "It's not like he ever made a pass at you or anything." She stopped and then gave me a look of deep disgust. "You're being a jerk about this, you know. I thought he was your friend."

"Well what if he doesn't want to just be my friend? Huh?"

"Oh come on, Taichi," she snapped, "you are so full of it. Who ever said that he likes you? Has he ever done anything to make you feel uncomfortable? Hmm?" I stopped, my unexplainable panic slowly leaving.

"In any case," I replied, fiddling my thumbs, "I still feel—er, weird—living with a guy who may or may not be interested in me." Sora opened her mouth to yell at me some more but seemed to think better of it. Instead, she shook her head and then sighed.

"He's a good guy, Taichi. I don't even know him as well as you do and I can see that he's a good person. I can't understand why you'd allow something as his sexuality to come between you. If you ask me, you were happy when you were around him. So I don't see why it's such a big fucking deal. But, here, let me get the couch set up for you." She set up the couch and made up my makeshift bed in silence. When she was finished, she stifled a yawn and went off to bed, without so much as looking at me.

"Goodnight to you too, Sora!" I called, irritated that she was giving me such a hard time. "And thanks for letting me stay over."

For the next two days Sora continued to give me the silent treatment, answering me with monotone syllables or grunts if she could get away with it. She was irritated with the way I had freaked out on Yamato and, to tell the truth, I had no idea why I'd done what I had. If I was honest with myself, I knew that, deep down, I was just scared about all the implications his coming out to me held, for me and for our friendship.

It was late in the evening of our third day of barely speaking to each other when someone began to pound on the door, shouting for Sora to open it. She acquiesced, grumbling that it had better be for a good reason that someone was trying to break down her door.

"Where is he? Where _is_ he?" Daisuke shouted, running past her, ignoring her protests. "Tai, why the hell aren't you at the hospital?"

"Should I be at the hospital?" I asked, puzzled. His mouth dropped open and he stared at me. "What?" I asked, completely nonplussed.

"Taichi, your friend is in the hospital. How could you not know?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Fucking hell, Tai! Yamato's in the hospital. You know, your friend? I thought…" he faltered, "I thought you knew. Weren't you with him that night? I mean, I remember it was the day you met Sora and me at the park." The bottom dropped out of my stomach and my heart sank.

"He's in the hospital?" I whispered, not wanting to believe it. "You mean he's _in_ the hospital?"

"Yes, Tai, as in, he's a patient at the damn hospital!"

"Oh my god," I said, completely at a loss for words. "I—why are you telling me this?" He blinked at me a bit and his eyes flashed angrily.

"Why? Tai, he's your _friend_. Isn't that what friends are for? Or am I just pulling those ideas out of my ass?" I shook my head.

"I don't want to see him." The words left my mouth before I could think and the moment they were in the air, I regretted them.

"Why not," he asked quietly, crossing his arms. "Is it because Yamato finally told you he was gay? Do you have a problem with that, Tai?"

"He's not gay, he's bi," I muttered resentfully. "And it's not the same."

"Not the same? So what if he likes other men. Hell, _I _like other men and I don't think I'm wrong in saying that you'd jump off a cliff to come to _my_ aid."

"I _told_ you, it's not the fucking same!"

"What's not the same? Come on. Enlighten me, Yagami."

"You want to know what's different? I've been fucking living with him! What if he—what if he watches me in the shower or—or tries to—to _do_ something to me?" Dai's face contorted and he turned away from me. Sora glared at me as she placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Like he couldn't do that even if you _didn't_ live with him?" Dai snorted, impatiently.

"He's already been touching me a lot. Like, on the waist!"

"He's your physical therapist, Tai. It's his job," Sora replied, with the air of explaining something to an idiot. "He'd be a bit on the useless side if he _didn't_ touch you on the waist, you know, to keep you from falling over? God, you're sure living up to your team nickname, baka." I prepared to begin an angry tirade at her but Daisuke interrupted me before I could get a word out of my mouth.

"Come on, you're coming with me," Dai snapped in a tone that suggested no room for argument and he began to push me out of the door. "I was at the hospital, for my volunteer hours—I started volunteering a week ago—Anyway, I was walking to the cafeteria and I got lost and I heard his voice. I thought I'd pop my head in to say hello and ask if he wanted anything to eat, since the door was open. But he was surrounded by a bunch of doctors and he was refusing to say anything. They didn't see me or I would have gotten into big trouble. Judging by the looks of it, he was in some pretty bad accident of some sort but he won't tell them what happened."

"Is there any particular reason you're telling me this?" I growled resentfully, sulking that he was getting his way and that I was helpless to stop it. I could feel him giving me a death glare but I ignored it, knowing that if I met his eyes, I would either explode in an instant or be scared shitless.

I recoiled at the hospital doors, wary to go inside. I had always hated hospitals but now I loathed them. They were nothing but places of death; the deaths of loved ones, of strangers, of hopes and dreams. I had died in this hospital; everything I was or thought I was before my accident was no longer alive and being in that hospital, I was reminded strongly that I had left, months earlier, in the same condition: completely unable to walk. Daisuke growled a warning to me, seeming to promise death if I hesitated any longer, and I went inside without a protest. We stopped at the nurses' station and asked if we could visit Ishida, Yamato. The old woman at the front desk flipped through a few pages before she answered me.

"Well, sweetheart, you can go and visit him but I don't know if it would be of any use. He won't see anyone, you see, and he refuses to say a word. But here, maybe the sight of a friendly face can cheer him up. He's in room number B148. Good luck." She waved us off with a motherly smile, before turning to the next person. At the door to his room, Dai stopped and looked pointedly at me.

"Look, just fucking get your ass in there and talk to him." I was about to protest but he gave me a look so fierce that I figured it would be easier to listen to him than it would be to argue. He was easygoing most of the time but, when he was really riled, he was stubborn as hell. I wondered when the hell he had become so fucking bossy and muttered darkly under my breath as I pushed open the door and wheeled inside, in some trepidation as to what I would find. What I saw made my breath catch in my throat.

Yamato was sitting on the window ledge, staring into the night sky. The leg that was closest to the window was bent and he leaned into it, one arm wrapped around it. His other leg dangled off the ledge, his toes barely skimming the carpet. His free hand was pressed flat to the cold glass, as though he were trying to push it open so he could escape. The moonlight fell on him and made his pale skin glow ethereally; he looked like an angel, trapped in a cage and longing to be free to fly into the skies once more. The look on his face was one of pain and regret and, when he shifted, his paper-thin hospital gown slid off one slim shoulder to reveal the thick bandages that had been wrapped around his neck and collarbone. I recognized, with a pang, that I knew what that feeling was like; I was going through the same thoughts except that I was physically unable to accomplish what I wanted while he was weighed down by the burden on his shoulders, one that I had never noticed but now saw clearly, as though someone had wiped away a thin, concealing veil from my eyes. I gulped and wheeled forward, bumping into the bed as I did so. His head snapped toward me and I stiffened when I saw the look of anguish that crossed his delicate features when he saw me.

"What are you doing here?" he asked sadly, turning slowly back to the window. He sounded so…defeated that I wanted nothing more than to hold him and tell him, over and over, a thousand times over, that I was sorry for leaving him that night. I was sorry that I had reacted so cruelly and so irrationally to his obviously tortured confession. He had been in so much pain and I had only added salt into the wound and rubbed it in with a blunt knife.

"Um," I gulped, fiddling with the handlebars of my wheelchair, completely unable to voice any of the apologies that were currently running through my head. "what happened?" He chuckled mirthlessly, his hand clenching, knuckles knocking on the cold glass.

"Why do you, of all people, want to know?"

"Because I'm your friend," I replied, cringing at the hypocritical words coming out of my mouth. He stiffened and turned his whole body to me, so that both of his legs dangled. The look on his face froze my blood and I unconsciously backed away from him. He didn't look particularly upset but his eyes were flashing and, in the entire time I'd been his friend, I had never seen them look at me so menacingly. There had been times when he was angry with me but he had _never_ looked at me with that particular look of…bloodlust and I knew, in that moment, that I would never do anything to incur such a look upon me again, even if I had to bend over backwards in order to stave his wrath.

"My friend!" he laughed bitterly. "Tai, a friend wouldn't have reacted the way you did when I told you about my sexual preferences! A friend wouldn't have dismissed me as though I were a piece of garbage that you didn't want dirtying the seat in front of you. A friend…"

"A friend would have _told_ me that he was gay the moment he offered up his house!" I countered. "And, come on, I had a right to be shocked, didn't I?"

"I already apologized for that!" he hissed, jumping off the ledge and landing heavily on his feet. He winced and his hand gripped his neck, right over the bandages. I made a move to ask if he was okay but he shot me that menacing look and my words died in my throat. "I already said I was sorry I hadn't told you about it."

"You _lied_ to me, Yamato," I accused, the little voice in my head screaming at me to shut up. I knew that I had no right to be angry, that I should accept it as a fact of life and move on, make amends, be his friend again but my mouth kept moving and words kept pouring out of it. "You may not have outright lied about it but you hid the truth from me. That's just as bad as lying, Yamato." I didn't know why I was so upset that he hadn't told me before but a tiny part of me was hurt that he hadn't trusted me with the information earlier on. Surely he had seen how I reacted to Daisuke's and Kevin's relationship, hadn't he? I mean, if I had accepted them, I would have accepted him just as readily. And yet, that wasn't even half of the reason why I had been so stupid about his confession. Only half of the truth was in my explanations to Sora, Daisuke, and him but I wanted to ignore the other half that I was not acknowledging. Deep down inside of me, I knew that if I did, the vague, crushing sense of _something _would inexorably change my life. I wasn't ready for a change of that degree, so I pushed it away and ignored it for all I was worth, was so committed to ignoring it wholeheartedly that I didn't care if one of the friendships that I treasured the most crumbled in ruins around me as I did so.

"Get out," he replied, turning back to the window. I recoiled at the simple command, said without feeling, and at the obvious dismissal. I stared at him and, though he wasn't looking at me, I knew that he could tell I hadn't moved. He stiffened and his fists clenched in his lap. "Get out," he repeated, this time a hint of malice behind the words. "_Get out!_" I left quickly and Daisuke looked at me, knowing from the look on my face that all had not gone well.

"I don't want to talk about it," I said flatly. He threw me a sideways glance and then entered the room. I stayed near the door, which he left ajar, and listened to the hurried, whispered conversation unfolding in the room. There was a harsh sound and then the bang of a fist on glass.

"Yamato," I heard Daisuke plead, "it's no use getting upset and it's no use giving up. He'll come around, I'm sure of it." I heard the sharp intake of breath and then a shaky exhalation.

"I drove him away," he said, voice thick with what I presumed to be tears, though I was unsure. "I—I just _drove_ him away. G-_god_, what is _wrong_ with me!"

"Yamato," Daisuke's voice was firm now, "I already said it's no use beating yourself up. Now, would you _please_ get back into the bed and hook up your IV again, so the nurses don't kill me? They'll think it's my fault and then they won't let me visit anymore."

"No. Not now. I'll do it before they come in later to check up on me. I want to sit here for a little while longer." There were more whispers and then Daisuke walked out, his face grim. He shot me a filthy look before starting to push me through the hospital. He stopped at the nurses' station and greeted a fairly young woman.

"Hey Candice, you know the patient in B148?" He waited until she nodded, her brow furrowing in concern. "Could you watch him? Make sure he puts his IV back in and doesn't try to—hurt himself. No knives for him, okay?"

"Can I ask why?"

"He's been through a lot recently and he's feeling pretty horrible. I just want to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. Thanks." We left the hospital in silence but, on the way back to Sora's apartment, Daisuke broke it. "It's all my fault."

"What?" I blurted out, completely nonplussed. "What are you talking about?"

"I convinced him to tell you. I hinted at it in front of you, raised your curiosity, and basically forced him to tell you. I shouldn't have done that. Thought it would do him some good if he got it off his chest because," Daisuke suddenly stopped, reddening slightly and I knew he'd just stopped himself from telling me a forbidden fact. "Well, because he was agonizing about whether or not to tell you. Fat lot of good _that _did. But, I can't _believe_ you reacted that way. Shit, you're even stupider than I am and that's saying something."

"Hey now!" I shouted, "Watch who you're calling stupid!"

"Yeah? Well, at least I had the balls to admit that I was gay and go after Kevin when _you_ can't even admit to _yourself_ that you're fucking head over heels for Yamato!" There was a long silence as Daisuke's eyes widened once he realized what he said. His mouth was open and he looked at me, horrified. I stared at him, my heart thumping so loudly in my ears that I was sure it would implode and that I would end up a huge, bloody mess on the pavement. I was at a loss for words, which was fortunate. I wanted to murder him and if I had been able to speak, I would certainly have said something to ruin yet another good friendship. When I finally recovered my voice, I was oddly calm.

"I am _not_ gay, Motomiya." I turned my back to him. "I am _NOT._"

A/N: They're being STUBBORN. /cries/ STUBBORN. STUBBORN, I TELL YOU! Why are my characters not LISTENING to me/cries some more/ I thought I was the author. Shouldn't that count for something/incomprehensible babble/ So they're being stubborn, eh? Well, two can play at _that_ game. /evil glint/ Bwahahahahaha.


	16. Purely Platonic Yamato

Disclaimer: Ishida Yamato is _mine_. MINE, I TELL YOU! BWHAHAHAHA. /is strapped in a strait jacket and carted to a mental institute/

"There, Ishida-san, you're all set. I don't see why we need to keep you here any longer, since you're doing so well."

"Okay, thanks," I replied, not paying particular attention to the doctor. "I'll be going then."

I turned, eager to leave the hospital after having been cooped up for far too long, and bumped straight into Daisuke, who laughed sheepishly. I rolled my eyes; he had been coming to visit me in the week and a half that I spent recuperating. I saw right through his excuses of being told to check up on me, and knew that he was there to keep me company. I was grateful for the gesture but he was so much like Tai, right down to his facial expressions, that I felt a little pang each and every time I saw him. Of course, he meant well, so I found that I couldn't blame him.

"Sorry, Yamato. Didn't see you." My eyes narrowed and he backed away from me, hands up in a placating gesture, as though he were warding off an attacking animal. "I wasn't eavesdropping, promise!" His eyes widened innocently and I bit back a smile. "So, can me an' Kevin take you home?" His boyfriend stepped out from behind him and nodded at me, a friendly gesture which I returned as I consented to Dai's proposal. "Great! So, let's go already. It's the end of my shift and I'm hungry." As if to emphasize his strident proclamation, he rubbed his slim stomach.

"You're always hungry, bottomless pit," Kevin rolled his eyes affectionately, bopping him on the back of the head. "And you always make _me_ treat."

"Ow! I do not!" he complained at full volume, rubbing his head and ruffling his hair so that it stuck up everywhere, giving him the appearance of a rather indignant porcupine. "So can we go eat? Can we, can we?"

He turned large, soulful eyes to his boyfriend, throwing in a quivering lower lip for good measure. Kevin sighed acquiescingly, never one to be able to resist The Look, as I had dubbed it in my mind, and Daisuke cheered, earning himself a reproachful glance from an elderly couple who were passing. He quieted immediately but, when they had passed by and their backs were turned to us, he stuck his tongue out at them, earning another smack from Kevin. We walked toward the exit but I stopped to talk for a minute to the youngest nurse on duty, Candice. She had come to visit me in the cheerless hospital room several times during my stay, always glad to lend an ear and a piece of sound advice, all of which I was immensely grateful for.

"Hello Yamato, good afternoon. I take it they're finally releasing you?" I had complained to her on numerous occasions that I hated hospitals and that being in one was like being trapped in an overly-sterile jail cell.

"Finally," I sighed. I opened my mouth to thank her for her willingness to listen to my ramblings about Taichi and the events of the past couple of days when I was distracted by a disturbance right behind me.

"Come _on_, Yamato, hurry up. I'm _hungry_!" Daisuke tugged on my sleeve, trying to pull me out the door. I raised an eyebrow at him and he gave me The Look, whimpering slightly. I shook my head, smirking. The trick may have been irresistible to Kevin but I was impervious to it.

"Fool!" Kevin hit him, "Can't you see he's talking to someone? Aren't you being just a bit rude? Not to mention, juvenile?"

"Owwww," Daisuke whined, shooting a glare at Kevin, who seemed utterly unfazed that his boyfriend was looking so dangerous. "That hurt!"

Candice giggled softly, enjoying the exchange, and I turned back to her, rolling my eyes.

"He has too much energy," I muttered to her. "How can you let him volunteer here? Doesn't he just bother the long-term patients?"

"They like him. He has so much pep that it rubs off on them. And they love it when he brings Kevin with him." Candice blushed and then corrected herself, "Well, most of them like it anyway. But his smile really is infectious, isn't it? You can't help but want to smile with him or at him." She laughed, her eyes trained on the arguing couple behind me. "They really work well, don't they? I wish I had someone like that," she sighed, resting her chin on linked hands. I nodded sympathetically and she tilted her head at me, watching me thoughtfully. "You know, this Taichi sounds like he might be that special someone. He's just gotta get used to the idea of being _your_ someone. Give him some time, okay?" Before I could say anything in response, a certain _pest_ yanked me away from the desk so forcefully that I nearly lost my balance.

"Oi, can we go _now_? Huh? Yamato! You've been talking way too much. Let's go before I die of hunger!" Daisuke began marching toward the door, his fingers wrapped firmly around my wrist.

"Looks like you had better go or he'll yank that poor arm off," Candice chuckled. "It's been nice getting to know you, Yamato. I just hope the next time we meet will be under better circumstances. I don't want to see you back in here with injuries like that again." She cast a dark glance at the bandages on my shoulder. I waved to her as I followed Kevin to the car.

After we ate, I decided to walk home, declining their invitations to hang out at Daisuke's apartment. They had been gazing meaningfully at each other all night and I caught several touches that meant much more than their surface appearance; Kevin's hand had lingered too long on the small of Daisuke's back on several occasions and Daisuke seemed to keep finding a reason to touch Kevin. I didn't know what would happen if they were at home, especially since they would be alone until later that night, nor was I eager to find out.

"Can't we at least give you a ride, Yamato? You live a bit far, don't you?" Kevin asked, his dark eyes asking me if I was as cheerful as I was pretending to be.

"Yeah! We don't mind."

"No, it's really okay. I want to walk—'tis a good night for walking, don't you think?" I replied lightly, waving them off. "You guys go and have fun, I'll see you soon."

"Well, alright," Daisuke mumbled, reluctantly getting back in the car, "but if you need anything don't hesitate to call us, okay?" I nodded and thanked him for his support. Kevin was harder to appease and he gave me a long, hard stare, telling me without any words that he wasn't buying my story.

"Seriously, Kevin. I'll be fine. I just—I just want to take a walk and sort everything out, you know?" I did my best to look him in the eye, even as I lied through my teeth. "Just go. Please." He looked at me for a moment and then pulled me closer.

"I'll let you go but if you do anything _stupid_, me and Daisuke will follow you around for as long as we feel like, got it?"

"Thanks, Kevin, but, like I said, I'll be fine. I'm fine. See?" I smiled widely to show him. "I'm just going to take a walk. Don't _worry_ about me." I gently pried his fingers away from my wrist and he sighed, acquiescing. They drove away and I waved to Daisuke, who had turned to watch me as the car lights dwindled into the night. I sighed when I was sure they were gone and dropped the mock-happy expression I'd been carrying all day. Putting my hands in my pockets, I turned in the direction of my house, my shoulders sagging.

In truth, I wasn't fine and I knew that I wouldn't be for a while. I had just gotten used to having someone else in the house with me, someone to stave off the loneliness and isolation that only the deepest, darkest hours of the night could bring. I wasn't ready to go back just yet; wasn't ready to face the shadows and memories that awaited me in the empty house. I wandered through town and my thoughts turned, as they always did, to Taichi. I shook my head, fiercely determined not to dwell on anything that had happened in the past few days or, more importantly, on Taichi himself. I had learned long ago that regrets only dragged me away from recovery, opening new wounds as I dwelt on what I could have done differently, what I could have said. And yet, my brain seemed to find this the time to be traitorous; it kept dredging up images of the impossibly big grin he'd worn when he'd accomplished something, the beam in his eyes that could light up rooms. I wanted to be able to move on but remembering those odd habits of his, the unconscious expressions his face wore, I found that I was completely unable to forget him. He was too likeable. Too loveable.

Before I knew it, I was at the old suspension bridge on the side of town opposite where I lived. It was hardly used anymore, having been closed off for the most part due to reasons of instability or some such nonsense. The river beneath it wasn't so much a river than it was an outlet to the ocean, which was visible from where I stood (1). I loved the sound of the raging water; memories of tossing rocks and sticks down the waterway with Takeru always surfaced. The cold metal of the icy bridge pressed against my stomach as I peered into the pearly mist below, wondering how long it would take me to hit the water, wondering if I would be killed instantly, wondering if I could make it look like an accident. But perhaps, what I wondered most of all, was whether Tai would mourn for me, shed a tear for me, if there was even a person in the world that would possibly want to cry for _my_ death.

"Ya—Yamato?" I closed my eyes against the last voice I wanted to hear. "What—what are you doing?" He sounded alarmed and I could hear him getting closer. I didn't move from my position, nearly hanging off the side of the bridge. My feet were no longer touching the ground and I was balanced precariously on the rail, my upper body and lower body in a strange equilibrium.

"What do you want, Taichi?" I sighed, staring into dark grey fog because I knew that if I saw his face and those beautiful eyes, I wouldn't be able to keep myself from crying as I worked so hard to hate him. "What are you doing here?" I leaned a little bit forward and my head tipped closer to the water. He made a strangled sound in his throat before he swallowed audibly. When he answered, his voice was choked.

"My father used to take me and Kari here when we were little. The sound of the water helps me clear my head so I come up here when things get bad."

"And things are bad now?" I asked sharply, still debating whether or not I should release the death grip I had on the rail, contemplating what he would do if I threw myself into those dark depths. He was quiet for a moment, and the silence settled so thick on us it felt suffocating.

"Yes," he whispered, and the sadness in his tone was nearly tangible. "I'm sorry, Yamato. I really am."

"And you think that simply by apologizing you could take away what happened?" As if he could really know what had really happened that night.

"No, it's not like that. I just want—you to be able to—forgive me."

"Forgive you?" I leaned back and my feet found solid ground again. Vaguely, I imagined I heard him sigh in relief but I wouldn't see him and his expression, although it took all of my willpower to keep the reflexive action at bay.

"Please, Yama. I thought about it, about what you told me, and I really don't—I don't care anymore."

"Do you really mean that?"

"_Yes_," he insisted. "Yes, I really mean that. Yama, can you _please _forgive me for what I did?"

"Not right now," I replied, turning my head to glance at him for the first time. "Not right now."

"Right. Okay." He began to wheel away from me but not before I caught the hurt and disappointment on his face.

"Wait!" I called, hating my mouth and my brain for betraying me. He gazed over his shoulder at me, with questioning eyes. "I'll still work with you. You know, be your therapist. Just—give me some time. To be your friend again." He nodded slowly, before letting a tentative hope light up his face.

"When can we begin work again?" he asked, a spark of zeal entering his brown eyes. I could practically see him twitching in anticipation and I had to smile at him, despite the practical voice in my head telling me that it wasn't good, that it was simply _dangerous_, to allow him back into my life.

"First thing tomorrow. Say, ten o'clock?"

"That's fine with me. See you tomorrow, Yamato."

"Good. Now go home and get some rest because you're going to be working harder than you've ever worked in your life." He laughed, the clear sound ringing through the air, as he left and the beam on my face widened. Once he was gone, I began walking back to my empty house, no longer feeling the need to throw myself headfirst into the water.

The night was cold and I shivered, rubbing my arms where goosebumps were beginning to form. It was amazing how familiar his laugh, his voice, his face could be to me after only a few months. That voice in my head surfaced again, screaming that I shouldn't let him back, that I should keep my distance.

_God only knows what could happen, Ishida, you FOOL!_

I wouldn't be letting him in too close.

_Yes, you would! You know how you are around him. Look what happened the last time._

But I learned from my mistake. I wouldn't do it again.

_You suck at lying. Besides, you and I know that that's not true so why bother trying to lie?_

So I could convince myself that I was strong.

_But you're not. You're weak. His smile makes you weak. His laugh makes you weak. His personality makes you weak. Hell, even his disability makes you weak._

It wasn't just a disability. It was what brought us together.

_That's stupid. You're his therapist. It's time you remembered the Rules, dumbass._

Yes, the rules. The damn rules that kept my relationship with him strictly professional.

_You are to be his therapist. You are only to touch him in a professional manner and if you're going to be his friend, it stays platonic, got it!_

Yes, I got it alright. I was going to distance myself. I was going to keep my emotions in reign around him, I was going to be professional and smile at him like a physical therapist would smile at his patient, not like a friend would smile at a friend. I could be his friend but it would be platonic.

_Purely platonic._

Yes, purely platonic.

Satisfied that I had agreed, however reluctantly, the voice subsided. By this time I was at my doorstep and, upon entering into the dark cavern, I sighed in relief that I had taken a step in the right direction. It was the right thing to do. It was the right thing to do. The mantra repeated in my head until I almost believed it.

Almost but not quite.

I knew it was the "right thing to do." I also knew that the Rules were there, to guide me and keep me within their boundaries. So why, _why_, did the words 'purely platonic' stab me in the heart, hurting as though I would never be able to smile again?

(1): Okay, I'm taking some liberties with the geography of Odaiba if you couldn't tell already…

A/N: BWHAHAHAHA! Tai-chan and Yama-chan want to be stubborn and ignore me! Well, they can bloody well ignore me! I'll just make their lives miserable in the meantime. Take _that_, you pig-headed assholes. /sticks tongue out at fictional characters/

Review? YES, review! Because this author needs the help of her faithful (and new) readers to CONVINCE Tai-chan and Yama-chan to work with me already.


	17. Progress Taichi

Disclaimer: They aren't mine.

"Come _on_. What are you, an old man?" he taunted, his blue eyes glinting mischievously at me. I glared at him, with all the venom I could muster; which wasn't much since I was trying not to fall on my ass at the same time. "I just insulted your honor, Taichi. Why don't you walk over here and punch me in the face?"

"What the hell do you think I'm trying to do? Attend a tea party? I've wanted to kick your ass since I met you," I growled, looking down at my feet and scowling ferociously as I tried to force them to move forward. _I have to prove him wrong._

"You know that won't make them move." He walked forward and I jumped when I glanced up to see his blonde head an inch away from mine, grinning at me. "Stop thinking so much about it and just do it. It doesn't matter if you fall, just take that first step. After that, it gets a bit easier, you'll see."

"Hmph," I grunted, ignoring him. My hands were gripping metal bars on either side of me and my arms were starting to shake with the effort of keeping my body upright. If I didn't start moving soon, I would simply fall over without making any sort of progress. "Well, here goes," I sighed, gingerly letting my weight rest on my legs as I slowly released the bars.

"Just one step, Tai. That's all you need, one step."

I bit down on my lip so hard that I broke through the skin, tasting blood. As sweat dripped down my face, the muscles in my right leg contracted slowly, torturously so, and it lifted, ever so slightly into the air. Gripping the bar so tightly that my knuckles turned white, I swung it forward, little by little, panting by that time, and then let it drop to the ground, about two inches from where it started. I could hear Yamato muttering softly, encouraging me and reassuring himself, by the tone of his voice, and I looked up at that moment.

In an instant, I felt like I'd been zapped by lightning, a rush of electricity jolted through me and a shudder ran down my spine. His body was as tense and rigid as mine and he looked as nervous as I felt; there were even crescent-shaped indents on his face, where he had been gripping his pale skin. What distracted me, though, was the expression on his face, which was one of intense excitement and apprehensive fear, blue eyes stretched as widely as possible, his Adam's apple bobbing, mouth slightly open as he took shallow, winded breaths. He looked so invested in what we were doing, so utterly engrossed by the mere idea that I might take my first step in a long time it was as though every emotion I had in my body, everything I was feeling at that moment in time was channeling through him, mirroring back to me, and it was amazing that he could empathize with me so completely.

"Tai?" his voice, alarmed, broke into my thoughts and I jumped slightly. "Something wrong?"

"I'm fine, Yama," I replied, attempting a smile. The suspicious look on his face told me that I was unsuccessful but it disappeared.

"Keep going, you're halfway there."

"Right." I nodded and then bit my lip again, wincing when the metallic taste of blood hit my tongue. Instead, I focused on leaning forward, putting my weight on my right leg. At the same time, I tried to lift my left leg and swing it forward to meet my right. I couldn't lift it so I settled for dragging it along the ground until my feet were even. Yama bounded toward me, his expression ecstatic, the most beautiful smile lighting up his face.

"You did it! You really, actually did it!" he cried. "I'm _so_ proud of you, Tai!" And with that, he flung his arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug. If I felt wobbly simply looking into his eyes, the hug knocked me off my feet. Literally. I was thrown off balance and fell backward with a shout, crashing to the floor and bringing Yamato down with me. He landed on top of me, so I took the brunt of the fall. For a moment, we stared at each other, our chests touching, his hands resting on the floor, on either side of my head and all I could think about was how _deeply blue_ his eyes were. He jumped up a second later, blushing severely as he brushed himself off. I sat up slowly, shakily, and raked a hand through my hair, ruffling it up even more than it was already. An awkward silence built up around us, the beating of our hearts echoing in the sparse, empty room.

"Sorry," he murmured softly, refusing to meet my eyes.

"Well, _that_ was a bit awkward," I chuckled lightly. He glanced up at me through his bangs and smiled, obviously relieved that I wasn't freaking out.

"Uhm, yeah." He bit his lip again and looked at me with worried eyes. "Are you okay? I didn't hurt you or anything, right?"

"I'm fine."

"Good." He rewarded me with a face-splitting smile and then walked over to me, pulling me to my feet. I swayed a bit but he held me upright until I was steady. "Alright, I'm going to get your chair, think you can stay standing for a bit?"

"Sure," I replied, nodding my head. I could stand for longer periods of time, I just had trouble getting my legs to cooperate with me some of the time. He let go of me quickly, striding toward the wheelchair, which was folded and propped against the wall on the opposite side of the room. As he walked away, the movement so fluid that I envied him, I thought about his reaction. Just three weeks ago, he would have made a sarcastic remark, taunting _me_. Now, he was acting so—distant and, though I had apologized, I couldn't help but feel that things still weren't alright.

"Uh, earth to Taichi?" His pale hand waved in front of my face. "Hellooo? Anyone home?" Before I could answer, his knuckles rapped smartly against my forehead and I winced, jerking away from him so quickly that I nearly lost my balance…again.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?" I rubbed at the spot between my eyes. "Jerk." He didn't reply but the smirk that broadened on his face told me all I needed to know. He pushed me into the chair and we jettisoned from the room. "Holy shit, slow down!" I shouted, tensing in my seat as the doors loomed ahead of us; we kept getting closer but Yama showed no signs of stopping, or even slowing. "We're gonna-," I let out an embarrassing squeak and covered my eyes, sure that he would crash us into the doors and I would end up dead—or worse, horribly disfigured.

"You can open your eyes now, you big pussy," he laughed, sounding slightly breathless. Gingerly, I cracked open one eye and then the next, surprised that I was not merely a splat on the solid-looking doors. "Really, Tai, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. A five year old girl would have handled that better than you did."

"It's not funny. I was scared for my life."

"Pussy," he mock-whispered at me, his voice literally shaking with contained laughter. My scowl deepened and he squatted in front of me, grinning so widely that his blue eyes were almost like slits. "You know, Tai, you are _adorable_ when you pout like that." And the next thing I knew, he was pinching my cheek.

"Ow," I whined, twisting my face away from him. "Stop!" He ignored me but ceased his attack and began walking again; we fell into an easy silence, which gave me a lot of time to think. We acted normally enough for the past few months after we'd reconciled, falling easily back into the comfort of teasing each other but the tendency of our conversations to wind leisurely into more serious topics was no longer there; I got the feeling that Yama was still cautious around me. He would often begin a sentence or question only to stop, flush a deep red, and mutter "nevermind." I knew why, knew that it was my fault, but I still wanted to fix it somehow, make our relationship go back to the way it was.

Eventually, we reached the park and followed the cement path through the crowds of laughing children by the jungle gym to a quieter area by the duck pond, where we found elderly couples calmly scattering bread crumbs for the hungry birds. I dropped from the chair and lay in the grass, while Yamato slowly lowered himself beside me. We enjoyed the sun and the breeze for a long while.

"Hey, Tai," he spoke up, jerking me from a light doze.

"Hmmm?" I asked lazily, tilting my head back so I could look at him.

"Do you—I mean, I was just wondering if maybe, I dunno, you wanted to um," Yama cleared his throat and started again. "I was wondering if you wanted to stay at my place again. I understand if you don't but…"

"Are you kidding me? I'd love to!" I said with more enthusiasm than I should have responded. "Sora's been driving me crazy lately." He chuckled at that, his blue eyes twinkling in the light.

"Yeah, she's been pestering me, too."

"About what?" I asked, wondering what she could possibly find to nag him about, especially since our conversations were dominated by constant reminders of what a great friend/therapist/guy he was.

"Oh, just this and that," he replied, the corners of his lips turning slightly downward, in what I had come to understand as a sign that he was lying or trying to evade the truth; he was so good that he probably hated to lie and the expression he wore when he did suggested that he tasted something awful in his mouth. His face cleared before the smile returned full-force. "You know, Tai, you're really lucky Sora cares about you so much."

"Not when she starts acting like she's my mother," I shrugged, joking slightly.

"Seriously, though, you're lucky," he insisted.

"Yeah, I suppose I am. She's been there with me through a lot of shit. Of course, I'm not _that_ lucky; lots of people have friends like her. Don't you?"

"I did once," he grinned ruefully. "But he's gone now and I'm never going to see him again. After he died, I unraveled. I drove away all of my other friends because I hated them so much for being so carefree, for daring to laugh when the world was such a dark place. I haven't seen any of them for ages. And—I guess I just never made another close friend."

"Yes, you did," I argued, hating to see his eyes darken with melancholy. "I'm your friend. Sora's your friend. Dai and Ken, we all care about you."

"You do?" His voice was so quiet and the question so piercing that it left me breathless; I knew what he was thinking about and I couldn't blame him for it. Hell, I thought the same thing to myself. _If you cared about him so much, why'd you push him away over something so insignificant as his being bi?_

"Yes, I do. You just—surprised me, is all. I know it's not an excuse and it doesn't wipe away the fact that I hurt you but you have to understand that I wasn't expecting it. It was different and I pulled away. I'm sorry. I wish I could take back what I did and said but I can't." I sighed. "I can only show you that I consider you to be one of my closest friends and, contrary to what you may think, I care immensely for you." He was quiet again and I wondered what he was thinking but when he turned and beamed at me, I knew he had accepted my apology and that he now believed wholeheartedly that I was somebody he could trust. He was just that sort of person.

"Alright, Yagami, let's get whatever shit you left at Sora's house and take her out for something to eat." Laughing, he stood and scooped me into his arms suddenly. I shouted in shock and grabbed him around the neck, bringing his face toward mine. He was so close to me now that I could feel his breath issuing from between his lips, which were slightly parted, and if I'd leaned in just an inch our lips would have met. My mouth was suddenly dry and my heart went into overdrive, pounding so hard against my chest that I was sure he could feel it.

_Stupid!_ My mind supplied, rather unhelpfully, as we stared at each other. _Stupid, stupid, STUPID! _Really, I ought to stop being so surprised every time he did that to me. It had been months since I'd met him and he'd been picking me up like that ever since so I really had no idea why I kept reacting the way I did; I should have been used to it. I was in the process of working through all the ways I could throttle the blush on my cheeks that shouldn't have existed when he cleared his throat.

"Um, Tai?" he asked pointedly, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Yes?" I replied, with as much dignity I could muster.

"You can let go of me now."

"Oh. Right." But I couldn't move. Or maybe, I didn't want to move. He didn't do anything either; and so, we stayed there for what seemed like a long while, staring. Just then, we heard a loud shout and I felt him jump in surprise as we both turned to the source. Sora was running toward us, a smile on her face.

"Hey Sora, guess what?" Yamato called, dropping me in the chair and casually prying my arms from his neck as he straightened.

"What?" she asked, her grin widening. I saw the look in her eyes and I knew what she was thinking though I tried to ignore it. My effort was futile, really, because I felt the beginnings of a blush and focused entirely on getting rid of it.

"Tai's going to move back in with me."

"Really?! That's great!" she squealed and jumped at me, hugging me so tightly I felt I was suffocating. "Oh, I'm so happy for you guys!"

"Sora? Can't breathe."

"We were actually just on our way to your place to get Tai's stuff. If that's okay with you, of course." Yamato smiled, always polite.

"Sure," she replied, eagerly, latching onto his arm. "You two are so _cute_ together!" He stared at her and a faint tinge of red blossomed on his cheeks.

"What are you talking about?" he asked when he had composed himself enough to raise his eyebrow. Her smile faded slightly and she furrowed her eyebrows.

"What do _you_ think I'm talking about?"

"That Taichi is going to be moving in with me because it's more convenient." He stressed the last word in the sentence and stared at her, silently communicating something.

"Oh. Right." She coughed, apparently embarrassed, before she hitched a bright smile on her face. "Erm, well, shall we get going then?" We walked in silence and, when we reached her apartment, she let us in with a quiet apology that things were so messy. In all actuality, it was really all my stuff that was making her apartment so untidy and it took us a few hours to gather up everything I owned in a box, which Yamato carried downstairs. We didn't have his car; he'd left it in the garage earlier that day, saying that the weather was too nice not to walk. I wondered for a brief moment how we were going to get to his house when it was halfway across town when Sora offered to drive.

"Come on, Yamato," she pleaded, "you don't honestly think that you can get there pushing Tai _and_ carrying all his shit too. Just let me drive." He sighed and nodded, helping me into the car before he climbed into the front seat. She gave him a smug little smirk and he grumbled something incomprehensible, slouching down in the seat.

When we arrived at his house, Sora chattered about nothing in particular as she helped me put away my things. Her happiness rubbed off on me and we were soon bickering with each other like we always used to do; the slight friction that existed between us since I had moved into her small apartment was gone. Yamato seemed to get quieter as we got louder and he disappeared from my room for longer and longer periods of time. I couldn't help noticing that, though he smiled and joked and laughed with us, a strange expression crept into his eyes and he allowed his happy demeanor to falter when he thought nobody was paying attention to him.

"Hey, Yamato?" Sora asked, turning to him. In a split-second, he had a smile on his face; she didn't notice anything. "Is it okay if I order a pizza or something? I'm hungry." He laughed and shook his head, lightly punching her arm.

"Why didn't you say so earlier? I was going to treat you to dinner." A sly smile crept onto his lips and he leaned closer to her. "For putting up with Tai for so long."

"Hey! I can hear you, you know." I crossed my arms and looked away. Yamato sauntered over, the smirk still on his face.

"Taichi," he purred, putting his fingers on my chin and forcing me to look at him. I did so, unwillingly, and when I did, I jumped so violently I almost fell off the chair. His lids were at half-mast and twinkling with mischief. Coupled with the smirk, it was a seductive look I'd only seen in the movies, made all the more confusing because I knew that it was unintentional. It vanished, however, the second I'd registered what it was and he was now smirking so widely at me that his eyes were reduced to little slits. "Don't be such a baby."

"Why do you always have to make fun of me?" I pouted, fully aware that I was making myself even more vulnerable to his teasing.

"Because it's easy," he replied with a shrug, his attitude changing. Sora laughed and said something I didn't hear and the next thing I knew, Yamato was pushing me into the elevator.

"So, Tai, Yamato tells me therapy's been going a lot better lately." Before I could stop myself, I grinned at her.

"Yeah, I've actually managed to take a few steps."

"Really?!" she gasped, launching herself at me. "Oh, _Tai_!" It was the second time that day she'd tried to suffocate me and I made it a point of telling her that but she only sniffed loudly, telling me how happy she was that I was making progress.

Progress. If a couple of steps could be called progress. It really felt like I was getting nowhere. As if, no matter how hard I worked, or how much I wanted it, nothing was happening. But I supposed I was grateful for being able to stand, for being able to move. And I was glad Yamato was there, helping me. I was glad.

Later that night, after Sora had gone home and Yama had bid me a quiet goodnight, I lay awake in my bed for a long while, staring at the shadows that danced across the ceiling. I must have drifted asleep as I contemplated the shapes because I was awakened by a sound so soft I was sure I'd only imagined it. I closed my eyes and was just about to fall back asleep when I heard it again; my eyes opened and I climbed into my wheelchair as silently as I could. I eased out the door and through the dark corridor, lit only by the light from the moon, as I listened for that sound. I passed Yamato's room and heard it again. By instinct, my head turned and I edged forward, wondering if I could discern what I was hearing through the closed door. It was only when I leaned against it and bit back a curse when it offered no resistance that I realized it was not closed but left slightly ajar, as though the lock had not caught and it had swung back open.

Yamato was sprawled facedown on his bed, blankets strewn everywhere. He had buried his face in his pillow and his arms circled his head as his shoulders quaked violently. Moonlight streamed through the large window at the head of his bed, bathing him in its luminescence so that his pale skin glowed, much like it had the night I'd gone to see him in the hospital. It threw into sharp relief the scars that shone on that skin, the scars that told me of the physical pain Yamato experienced when I pushed him away to avoid the small part of me that I still refused to see. Small mewling noises—the sound that had woken me—were issuing from him and I saw right away the effort it took for him to be quiet to keep from disturbing me; if not for my restlessness, I would never have noticed.

It was, without a doubt, the most heart-wrenching thing I had ever heard or seen. Yama was crying, _weeping_ like he had just lost the most precious thing in the world to him. With the sobs and the sniffles and the repeated gasping for breath, I became aware that I was not just listening to someone who had been dealt a hard blow but to someone whose heart was literally shattering with the sorrow and the bitterness that comes with loss. In the quiet of the house lit by the ghostly light of the moon, I watched as Ishida Yamato's heart broke once more, for reasons that remained a mystery to me though perhaps, somewhere deep inside that unacknowledged part of myself, I knew even then.

It was a long time, however, before his quiet, fierce sobbing died down, before his body only trembled sporadically with the aftermath of his private display of passionate emotion, before his breathing evened out as he fell asleep, and before I returned to bed with a painfully throbbing heart, prickling eyes, and a head full of questions.

A/N: Man, it has been such a long time since I updated. I'm sorry! I would like to thank Takato the Dreamer for the personal message, which motivated me. No, I didn't forget this story! Yes, I am working on it! It's just a lot harder than I thought it would be. Also, thanks to everyone who has stayed with me and this story. /determination/ I will finish it, I promise!


	18. Unexpected Ending Yamato

Disclaimer: Obviously, they aren't mine. If they were, they would have been together a LONG time ago. 

I thought it would be easy to uphold my commitment to being Taichi's friend, his friend and nothing more. I was confident, arrogant even, in my thinking that I could suppress the pain of knowing that my relationship with Tai would always be just a friendship. It went easily enough the first few weeks after our friendship was repaired though there were plenty of awkward silences and abrupt topic shifts. He was making progress and I knew that he would be walking soon, with the additional help of crutches of course. But after that, it was only a matter of time before he regained the full use of his legs and my role as his therapist would become obsolete. He would no longer need me.

I pushed the thought away whenever it cropped into my head, focused my energy wholeheartedly to ignoring that fact. He took his first step in a long while and I couldn't help myself, couldn't contain the joy that had flared so suddenly in my chest when I saw the look of wonder on his face as he realized that his determination had finally paid off. I forgot myself and leapt at him, crushing into a hug that knocked him flat on his back. I froze with shock when I found myself lying on top of him, his face so close that I could see the flecks of gold in his brown eyes. I expected him to get angry, thought he would push me away, but he stared at me instead. His eyes widened but he didn't say anything, just stared. It was at that moment that I knew it would not be easy to remain his friend.

In the space of a mere two seconds, between the time it took for my brain to send the signals to my frozen muscles to get off of him, I was seized with an overwhelming desire to press my lips against his; it would have been simple enough to close the space between our faces. I jumped up as soon as I realized how close I had come to endangering our friendship. I tensed, waited for him to become cold and distant, like he had that fateful night. But he laughed instead, with a trace of a blush on his cheeks, and ruffled his hair with a distinctly sheepish gesture.

And I'd been doing so well in convincing myself that Tai was just a friend. Now, here I was, mere milliseconds from kissing him, from making a complete mess of our relationship for the second time. I was flustered and angry with myself so I teased him cheerfully, hiding my feelings until I could have the chance to sort through them. He responded like I'd hoped he would and the awkwardness of that moment disappeared. But he did it again! For the second time in the same day, I found myself in a position where I was mere _inches_ from his lips; this time, he had his arms around my neck. Again, he didn't say anything, just widened his eyes and stared. _Damn it_, he needed to stop looking at me with his expression of bewilderment and confusion if he didn't want me to close the space between us in an action that would be, quite literally, the kiss of death for our friendship.

Sora appeared and I accepted her presence with gratitude; she would keep Taichi sufficiently occupied, leaving no room for temptation. Her thrill at the news that he would move in with me was expected but she very nearly destroyed all the hard work I'd put into ignoring my feelings for Taichi as she waggled her eyebrows suggestively at me. She offered to help and the extra pair of hands was especially useful as we moved Tai's belongings back into my home. As the afternoon wore on, she and Tai descended into the comfortable, friendly animosity with which they regarded each other. I saw the way they interacted, the way Sora laid a hand on his shoulder when she laughed at something he'd said, the casual manner in which Taichi leaned his head on her hip and wrapped his arm around her waist when she stood beside his chair. It didn't matter that she always twisted away from him and smacked him on the back of the head, every time I saw that, I felt a sharp pang in the pit of my stomach and had to leave the room to keep from doing something that I would regret.

"Good night, Yama," Sora whispered as she hugged me outside the restaurant after dinner. "I'll see you later." She let go and turned to Tai, a smile on her face.

"Night," he grunted at her. She hugged him gently, sitting in his lap when she did. I walked a little ways away, sensing that she had something private to tell him. I watched them surreptitiously out of the corner of my eye while I pretended to be deeply interested in the banner that fluttered over the door of the bar across the street. She had leaned in, one hand on the back of his neck and the other on his shoulder, her forehead touched his and her eyes gazed bore into his as she spoke. For his part, both of Tai's hands had gone, perhaps instinctively, to her waist and they were loosely, casually draped around her.

"Oh now, isn't that sweet?" A woman sighed to her husband as they walked past. "Don't you remember when we were that young and so in love?"

"We still are," the man replied, planting a kiss on her forehead. She giggled and snuggled closer to him as they faded into the darkness.

"But Sora…"

"Don't 'but Sora' me, baka. Just listen. I don't care what your issues are, okay? Promise me you'll think about it." Horrified that I'd heard this snatch of their conversation, I shuffled further away, still keeping an eye on the two of them. As I watched Tai and Sora, the pang in my stomach came back and intensified; it felt like a small animal trying to claw its way out of my body. I put a hand to my stomach and looked away, trying to will the feeling away but it persisted and spread until it felt as though I was being consumed by it.

"Good night, Yamato!" Sora called cheerfully, though her eyes looked pensive and worried. I looked up sharply and nodded before she got in her car and drove away, leaving me and Taichi alone on the sidewalk.

"Shall we go?" I asked, forcing a smile for his benefit. He made a funny movement with his head but didn't say anything. The ride home was quiet; I was not the only one who was preoccupied.

"Night, Yama," he sighed, a wry smile twisting his lips. He shook his head and wheeled himself into his room; I heard the click of the lock before I entered my own room, absentmindedly pushing the door closed.

I flopped onto the bed, my mind replaying the day's events. I could see Sora tapping Tai's shoulder as she asked him a question, could see Tai wrapping an arm around her waist as she stood by him, could see every single casual touch that occurred between the two of them but, worst of all, was the image of Sora sitting in Tai's lap with her forehead pressed against his, looking like lovers. The thought sent another pang through my stomach and the animal's clawing became frenzied. I knew I was being stupid; I had no reason to feel this way at all. I knew there was nothing going on between Tai and Sora, knew that they only saw each other as friends, almost like siblings.

"Damn it," I whispered to the dark room at large, "damn it." I was not jealous. The feeling in the pit of my stomach was not jealousy but a deep and painful longing for that kind of relationship, for the intimacy that the two of them shared. I wanted to be able to touch someone like that, to look at someone like that, and have him do the same. The animal disappeared, leaving behind an empty space that throbbed around the edges, a raw and open wound salted by the knowledge that the last person with whom I'd shared such a connection was dead. My hand automatically rose to my torso as I struggled to banish the sensation, to keep from flying apart. As I did, however, all I heard was Sora's voice echoing in my head, full of warm affection,

"_Taichi's like…like the brother I never had but always wanted. We would die for each other."_

I wanted that. I wanted to be able to say that I would die for someone because I loved him so much. I wanted someone to say that he would die for me. I longed for it so badly that it physically hurt me.

My eyes welled with stinging tears and my mouth turned downward of its own accord as the wound burned. I blinked back the tears that threatened to spill. I fought, like I always did, against this onslaught of bitter pain, but the first tear spilled and I knew that it was futile this time. So I buried my face into my pillow and clenched my teeth to further muffle the sound of my crying; I did not want Taichi to hear me and see me like this. It was stupid to be crying like I was, pushed over the edge by a desire, but I couldn't bring myself to stop. I gave in and, for tonight, I would let myself fully acknowledge the hole in my being that threatened to rip me apart.

It was the sunlight that woke me. I'd forgotten to close the curtain to the window and it burst into my room. I cracked open an eye and groaned at the assault on my eyes, which were tender from my fit the previous night. I assessed myself in the mirror of the bathroom, prodding gently at the purple bags under my eyes, bloodshot and swollen. I looked terrible and I felt the same way. After I'd gone through my morning bathroom rituals, I walked to the kitchen, thinking that I would make pancakes.

"Morning." Taichi's voice, though quiet, rang through the still house and I jumped, turning sharply toward the source.

"Don't do that," I breathed, my heart beating rapidly from the scare.

"Sorry." He looked away and I could tell that there was something on his mind. He had never woken up before me; usually, it was the smell and sound of my cooking that got him out of bed.

"What's wrong, Tai?" I asked, pulling out a chair and sitting beside him. "Do you want to talk about it?" He met my gaze and held it, stared into my eyes like he had done the day before. Something flickered in his expression and, though he was quick to disguise it, I saw the confusion and indecision before he broke eye contact.

"No, it's nothing," he replied, shaking his head. "I'm fine."

"Okay." I didn't believe him but it was too early to try and force it out of him. He would tell me when he was ready. "Are you hungry? I can make some pancakes."

"Sure." He sat and watched dispassionately as I clattered around the kitchen, gathering my ingredients and mixing them together in a large bowl.

"Hey, how long have you been awake, anyway?" I asked as I dipped a finger into the bowl to taste the batter. I frowned, added a little cinnamon and a little sugar and tasted it again. Perfect.

"Oh, I couldn't sleep."

"Why not?" I was watching the pancakes on the stove so I couldn't be sure but I felt as though he was forcing a casual attitude. I flipped a few of them over.

"Yama." The tone in his voice caused me to take my attention away from the stove and I glanced at him. He didn't say anything else, however, so I focused again on making sure my reputation as a good cook was protected. "Yama." I slid the few pancakes that were finished onto a plate, and turned off the stove. Breakfast could wait.

"Alright, what is it?" I asked, placing the plate in front of him. He stared at them, then grabbed one and began to destroy it apart with his fingers. His eyes studied a corner of the table and he placed a piece of the pancake in his mouth. He smiled, telling me silently that it was good, but didn't eat anymore; he placed it back on the table in a heap of crumbs.

"What would you do if—if there was a part of you that knows something," he paused, hesitated, "something that could change everything about the person you think you are?"

"I would face it," I answered, feeling like the biggest hypocrite on the face of the earth. I couldn't even fathom taking my own advice. "I would acknowledge it and if my world was blown apart, I'd find a way to rebuild." That was bullshit. I was lying through my teeth. There was no way I would be able to rebuild if my reality as I knew it at that moment were taken from me. I had done it too many times; the pieces were now too fragile to be handled. I would leave them where they lay.

"But that would be so hard," he murmured, squinting his eyes at his hands, which lay folded in front of him on the table.

"Tai, wouldn't you be happier if you understood everything about yourself? Even if it's unpleasant?" There was no reason why _he_ shouldn't be happier. Even if I'd forced myself into locking away my own secret, Taichi shouldn't.

"I—I guess."

"So, unlock your Pandora's Box." I reached across the table and placed my hands on his. "You'll have me and Sora and all your friends to help you through anything. Don't worry, you'll be fine."

"Ok." His mouth lifted into a wary smile, as if he wasn't fully convinced yet, but he grabbed a pancake and took a huge bite out of it. "These are really good, by the way."

"Good, I'll make more." I jumped up and turned on the stove again. I had just lifted it to allow the oil to spread across its surface when he spoke.

"Yama, were you happier when you realized you were bi?"

"What?" I was so startled by the question that I dropped the hot pan. Out of instinct, I reached out and grabbed it before it could hit the floor but instead of grabbing the handle like I'd meant, I touched the hot metal. "Fuck!" I yelped, dropping it for the second time. It clattered loudly against the tile as an awkward silence descended.

"Sorry," he said, "are you okay? I didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't scare me," I snapped, running my burnt fingers under cold water. "I wasn't expecting you to ask that." I cleaned up the oil on the floor and set to the task of using the rest of the batter I'd made. He didn't say anything and I realized that he was waiting for an answer.

"I was," I spoke up, still staring at the stove, "I was frightened, when I first realized that the idea of—of being with a guy excited me just as much as the idea of being with a girl. But, at the same time, I was relieved that there was a reason I always felt different. I suppose I wasn't _happier_, per se, but I felt a kind of—freedom when I acknowledged that I was different than the others."

"Oh." He took another deep breath. "How did—how did your family react?"

"Takeru accepted it right away. I don't think he understood the implications of what I was telling him—he may have been too young but that's beside the point. He still loved me. I never told my parents. My father would have killed me before admit that his own son was attracted to men, as well as women."

"And how did you—realize that in the first place?"

"Well, I was going through puberty at the time," I shrugged. "When I was in the locker room, I couldn't help glancing around. It was fascinating to me, the differences between guys and girls. Girls are all curves and soft places but I couldn't stop myself wondering…" I stopped, just in case I was disgusting him or something. As I finished making breakfast, I wondered why he was suddenly so interested in this, in my growing up and my realizations.

"Have you ever been—hurt? Like, for being bi?"

"Oh yeah," I replied nonchalantly, hearing his sharp intake of breath. "loads of times. The worst was when a couple of the football players at my high school thought they'd seen me checking them out. _Why_ they would think that, I'll never know. Anyways, they cornered me after school. They took turns holding me down, so the others could beat the living daylights out of me."

"Holy shit."

"Yeah. I went home coughing blood. I couldn't tell my parents, it would just give them an excuse to tell me 'See what happens when you admit to being gay?' I couldn't tell Takeru, he would worry. I couldn't even tell my girlfriend because it would bring up all sorts of uncomfortable questions." I paused and laughed bitterly, mirthlessly as I remembered the incident. "You know what the worst part was?"

"What?"

"The fact that one of them used to meet me under the bleachers to—do things. He told me he cared about me and the next afternoon he kicked the shit out of me."

"I'm sorry." I furrowed my brow.

"What are you sorry for?" I waved my hand at him in a dismissing gesture. "You weren't the one who did that."

"No, I may not have done that to you exactly but I hurt you." His eyes found the scar that ended just above my collar. "I told you I was your friend and then I pushed you away and you ended up in the hospital."

"Now, now," I waved a finger in his direction, "my ending up in the hospital was partly because of my own stupidity, you know. If I hadn't gotten wasted, I would never have done what I did and would never have put myself in a situation like that."

"But…" he began to protest but I shook my head.

"Taichi, it is not your fault." He was _not_ going to blame himself because I made a mistake. The consequences of my actions were on my head alone. Nobody knew the exact circumstances that led to my hospitalization and nobody would know until I was ready to divulge that information.

"Seriously?"

"If I held you responsible, do you _really_ think I'd even talk to you, let alone let you into my home?"

"Well, I suppose not," he mumbled reluctantly.

"Hey," I said softly, taking his chin between my fingers, even as a warning voice in my head told me that wasn't a good idea, "drop it." He nodded, his eyes boring deep into mine. Once again, I noticed indecision in his eyes and it confused me but I banished the thought. Casting around for a change of subject, I clapped my hands together. "So. What do you want to do today?" He replied that he wanted to walk and I could see that he was determined so we headed to the rehab center, making no attempts at conversation. Tai had his head bowed the whole way and, occasionally, he shook his head and muttered something aloud, though it was always too low for me to hear. It wasn't empty today, as it so often was when we worked, but I managed to find a spot for us. He barely looked at me as I readied the area and used his arms to pull himself into a standing position, between the two rails.

From where I was, a few feet away from him, I saw his mouth move and then watched as it set into a determined line. He met my gaze and lifted his chin, defiance etched on his face. It seemed he had come to some sort of conclusion and had decided that he would act upon it. His eyes didn't leave mine as he took a step forward, then another, and I started to say a word of encouragement but he shook his head in an abrupt manner, effectively telling me to be quiet. His legs were trembling slightly, looking unsteady, but his chest heaved as he took a big breath, never breaking eye contact, and he released his white-knuckled grip on the metal rails.

For a terrifying moment, I thought he would collapse right then at that moment and my body tensed, ready to spring forward should he start to do so. Before I could do anything, however, he was stumbling toward me. His movements were uncoordinated, awkward, but he stared straight at me, his teeth bared with the effort he was exerting. Twice, he almost fell but both times, he managed to grab the rail. He never paused, merely used his grip to give him added momentum. As he neared me, I could hear his labored breathing and see the sweat dripping down the side of his face and off the end of his nose. He was working so hard and he was so unsteady but still, still, his gaze never wavered from mine. My arms automatically lifted, stretched toward him, and I waited for him to reach me on his own two feet, as he had promised he would from the moment I began working with him. One step away from me and he tripped, his right foot catching awkwardly on his left. He let out a startled cry—or perhaps it was one of pain—and his whole body pitched forward. I was ready and closed the space between us with a quick movement, prepared for the weight of his body.

His hands reached out as he fell through the air for that split-second and they landed on my shoulders. I furrowed my brow as I was pulled forward. Before I could register what was happening, there was a gust of hot breath on my cheek, smelling of cinnamon, and then the heavy, gentle crushing of his lips on mine.

A/N/le gasp/ Who saw that coming? If nobody did, then I failed. As always, I love reviews and critiques of all kinds. If you think this happened really fast, don't worry, the story isn't over yet.


	19. A Beginning Taichi

Disclaimer: NOT MINE! A/N: So! How's this for a semi-quick update/ahem/ The italicized chunk of text represents Tai's memories. It's kind of obvious but I want to make sure nobody's confused.

I kissed him. As my mind struggled to comprehend what I'd just done, he pulled himself gently away from me, his hands on my waist so I wouldn't fall since my legs now refused to support my weight. He stared at me, his blue eyes wider than I'd ever seen, his mouth open.

"Tai," he whispered, horrified. "I-I-I'm sorry. I d-didn't mean t-to," he blushed a deep red and looked away, and I could feel him trembling.

"Why are you apologizing?" I asked, my voice hoarse. His eyes snapped back to me and I could see the panic in them.

"I was just trying to make sure you didn't fall," he said. "I-it was an accident." I furrowed my brows, perplexed, and then looked around the room. Everyone was staring at us, some of the therapists were shaking their heads, their mouths set in grim lines. I had forgotten that we weren't alone this time; I was used to having the room to ourselves.

"Er, I'm tired now. Can we leave, Yamato?" He didn't say anything, just nodded, and he brought me to my chair. As soon as I was settled, he pushed me outside. He set a fast pace and I could tell that he was tense; so was I. Only when we were inside his home did he stop. He began pacing in front of me, and I could see that he was pale and sweaty.

"Yama," I said gently, "Yama?"

"Tai," he shook his head, his face turned downward so that his bangs hid his eyes. "I don't—Taichi, you can't do," his voice gave out. He gulped and dipped his head more. When he spoke again, it was in a voice that was barely a whisper. "You can't do this to me." I rolled forward and reached out, touched his hand. He jumped back. I had to admit, that hurt.

I had kissed him. It finally dawned on me what I had done. I had kissed him and wasn't seized with the impulse to wash out my mouth or pretend that it was simply an accident. To take my eyes off his pacing, I looked down at my hands; they were shaking.

"Do what?" I asked, my question so quiet that I could barely hear it.

"_This_." He sounded so anguished. "What did you do, Tai? Back there. What happened?" A silence fell between us, so thick that I was suffocating. It was happening too fast. Everything was happening too fast. I had just opened my mind to the idea that I might be something other than completely straight and now, now I was going to force myself to admit, out loud, that I was.

"Yama, I—I think I kissed you."

"You _think_?" he spat. "You _think_ you kissed me?" Sarcastic. I gulped.

"This is happening too fast," I whispered, looking him straight in the eye. "I'm sorry. I don't know if I can do this." I could hear my father's voice shouting in my ear, calling me all sorts of horrible, derogatory names. I could hear his disgust, hear every bad thing he'd ever said about homosexuals.

"Why can't you?" his response was soft again, quiet. He sounded defeated and it scared me. "Tai, do you know what this is doing to me?" There were tears in his voice and I could hear his breath hitching.

"I'm sorry." And I was. He closed his eyes and I could see the tears clinging to his lashes, just beginning to spill.

"So am I, Taichi. So am I." Without another word, he spun on his heel and disappeared into his room, closing the door with a click that seemed to echo in the room. I buried my face in my hands and groaned.

I hadn't meant to kiss him. Or maybe I did. I had woken early that morning after a night of dark dreams plagued with the sound of his heart wrenching sobs. That morning, the only thought in my head was the fact that I had wanted nothing more than to go into that room and comfort him, just so I wouldn't have to hear him cry. Feelings I never thought I would have welled up inside me, strong and impossible to ignore. Deciding that my quest for more sleep was futile, I went to the kitchen but didn't feel like cooking even though I was hungry. In the early morning light that came through the window, I thought. I thought about Yama and my friendship with him, about Dai and Kevin and how they both seemed so much happier together, about my father and people like him.

When Yama woke and came into the kitchen, I couldn't help but notice that I felt better, relieved somehow though I couldn't explain it. He looked terrible and I knew why, and the knowledge that he was so sad inexplicably made me sad as well. He came to sit by me and, looking at him, I was struck by how beautiful he was. I had noticed that he was good looking when we first met but, somehow, the fact had never quite registered. He was beautiful and, once more, I wanted to hug him. I wanted to put my arms around him and hold him, make sure he was never that sad again. I couldn't though, my body froze and my mind told me how wrong it was, how unnatural. It was ironic how my thoughts suddenly sounded like my father.

I had to look away from him. The longer I looked at him, the stronger my desire became. He looked uncomfortable and, more to give himself something to do than anything, he began making breakfast. It was only until he stopped cooking that I realized I had said his name. Once, twice. Before I could stop myself, before I could control my mouth, I was asking him questions I refused to even let myself contemplate.

"So unlock your Pandora's box," he said and put his hand on mine. My first instinct was to pull away but I couldn't move. "You'll have me and Sora and all your friends to help you through anything. Don't worry, you'll be fine." I wouldn't be fine but I gave him a smile, complimented his cooking.

Unfortunately, this was the morning my mouth decided it would rebel against what my mind was telling it to do and I found myself asking him questions, dangerous questions about himself. At one point, he took my chin in his hands and forced me to meet his gaze, his clear blue gaze muddled with worry and curiosity. It was at that exact moment that I wondered what it would feel like to kiss him. It would have been easy to just lean in and see if my suspicions and my fears about myself were true. Try as I might, however, I couldn't bring myself to do it, no matter how insistent my wondering was. After eating, we headed to the rehab center; he was quiet, which gave me even more time to think, to agonize.

_Unlock your Pandora's box._ I had one; it sat in the corner of my mind, big and black and foreboding. It was always there and had always been there for as long as I could remember, a box of forbidden, safely hidden truths that sat in my mind and taunted me. I knew what was in it, knew that I would have been a lot happier if I'd opened it a long time ago, but it was too convenient, too easy to ignore it and be what society said I ought to be.

As we strolled through the warm sunshine, I faced it. It loomed suddenly, larger and blacker than it seemed before, and much more ominous. For a few moments, I thought I could go back to ignoring it, like I always had—it really was easier—but, now that I had acknowledged its presence, it was at the forefront of my mind. So I took a deep breath and…

"We're here, Tai." Yama's announcement distracted me momentarily and I welcomed it. "It's not empty today, like it usually is, sorry," he shrugged his shoulders, "but I'll set up here." It was an unoccupied corner of a large room that allowed us a bit of privacy, less than I'd have liked but perhaps a little more than if we'd worked anywhere else in the center. I watched him intently, noticing how he struggled with the heavy rails, setting them in place for me. He moved so gracefully he could have been a dancer and I briefly entertained the mental image of an unabashedly smiling Yama in a black tuxedo, which contrasted beautifully with his pale skin, when the image approached me and held out its hand, in an obvious invitation to dance. Then, my hand took his, the different hues of our skin entwining, and his face came closer, which meant that one of us had stepped closer to the other in this dream world I had created so quickly.

I shook my head to banish the thought and was presented, yet again, with the black box, the key in the lock. I gritted my teeth and opened it quickly so I wouldn't change my mind. Yama had finished setting up the rails and he was on the opposite end; I could feel him watching me but I had to concentrate on the contents of this box. I barely noticed that it took very little effort for me to stand.

"_Hey Tai, what are you staring at?" My friend shoots me a strange look from the corner of his eye as he pulls his shirt over his head. I stare at the muscles on his chest, telling myself it's only because I'm comparing our muscles, instead of checking him out._

_I'm in the park, playing football with my friends. I have the ball and I'm dribbling toward the goal when one of my friends comes at me, trying to block me. His body presses against mine, and something embarrassing happens. They laugh at me and I tell them—and myself— that it is because I was thinking of a girl. I have to convince myself that this is the truth._

_My dad sees two guys holding hands in the park while we practice my kicks. His lip curls in disgust and he mutters something. I hear the word "fag" in his speech. They hear it, too. The small, skinny one's face crumples and he turns away. His boyfriend gives us a dirty look and leads him away. I'm ashamed, not of them like I should be, but of my dad who looks proud that he has hurt one. I want to apologize to them._

_Yama's laughing. When he laughs, this feeling comes into my chest and I can't help but smile. His whole face lights up when he laughs. His hair is golden in the sunlight, his skin milky. I think he's beautiful but I tell myself that I only notice this because I'm jealous that all the girls like him. _

"It's okay," I told myself. I sounded scared and I was. My heart was pounding and I was already sweating but it wasn't from exertion. I was terrified with what I had acknowledged, all those years of lying to myself. The truth was terrifying. But I was going to face it; I had no choice. I had opened Pandora's box and, though its contents weren't comforting, they weren't exactly the worst things. I gritted my teeth and looked up, catching Yama's eyes. I took a step and he smiled. I took another step and he started to say something but I shook my head. I needed to concentrate and hearing his voice would only distract me. I had made my decision and I was going to stick by it, even if it left me questioning everything about myself.

It was almost an unconscious decision when I let go of the rails. I was wobbling but it seemed as though looking at Yama, watching me anxiously, was giving me something to focus on. My lips twitched in a tiny, involuntary smile; the metaphor was great. I was standing but unsteady on my own two feet, just like the foundation of who I thought I was had crumbled, leaving me reeling. I focused on Yama to give me an incentive to take steps without needing any support, like I depended on him to help me deal with who I really was. I walked toward him, slowly at first, but my pace quickened and I was stumbling. I tripped once and my heart danced into my throat but I didn't fall. I tripped again and stopped breathing for a few seconds but I knew that if I stopped, I would never reach my goal. It had suddenly become vital to me that I reach Yama on my own and I concentrated on that. I was close to him, close enough to see the emotion in his eyes, when I tripped once more. I fell forward and my arms reached out. I grabbed him by the shoulders and…kissed him. And now, I had hurt him again.

"I'm so stupid," I growled to myself and then sighed. I had to make this right somehow. "Yama?" I called, propelling my wheelchair toward his room. "Yama?"

"What?" he grunted, his voice thick.

"Yama, could you please come out here?" There was a long silence behind the door and I was scared he was just going to ignore me but then I heard the soft padding of his footsteps and the door opened, revealing his face, which was paler than usual except for the dark rings around his bloodshot eyes.

"What do you want?"

"Please," I said, much softer than I had intended, "please don't be mad at me. I just—I'm just scared." His eyebrows contracted and he came forward, bent down in front of me so that his head was on the same level as mine.

"Tai, I understand that you're scared. I was too. I went through my share of denial. But you can't always be scared. You can't always deny the truth." I knew what he wanted from me and…after a split second's hesitation, I decided that I was going to give it to him.

"I think," I took a deep breath, "I'm gay." He smiled genuinely, and chuckled, touching my cheek with the pad of his index finger.

"There, that wasn't so hard, was it?" Then his expression became serious again. "So what now? Where do we go from here?"

"Yama, can I ask you do me a favor?" He gave me a quizzical look but shrugged his shoulders, agreeing. "Could you," I paused, feeling the blush on my cheeks as I thought about the question I was going to ask, "could you kiss me?"

"_Kiss_ you?" he repeated, one eyebrow raised in a skeptical expression. I muttered an affirmation and then, his face was right in front of mine, his hands on the armrests of my chair, supporting him. "I'll do it but with one condition."

"And that is…?"

"You promise me that you won't freak out. You won't suddenly stop being my friend anymore." I nodded fervently.

"Friends." I wouldn't freak out. His blue eyes pierced into my brown ones and then he leaned in, closer and closer until our noses were touching. I could smell his breath and hear his heart beating—or was that just mine? His lips ghosted over my cheeks and I knew he was giving me time to back out, letting me know that it was still okay to lean away. I knew that but I didn't make any move. My heart was beating so very, very quickly and my hands clenched in fists. My eyes were frozen open and all I could see was his blonde hair. I could feel his lips at the corner of mine and I inhaled very sharply.

Then his lips were on mine and I closed my eyes, feeling my shoulders relaxing. My stomach imploded, sending tingles down my spine and throughout the rest of my body but the feeling was—_right._ He pulled away from me, just slightly, and watched me for my reaction with heavy-lidded eyes, whose color had darkened to a deep midnight-blue.

Instinctively, I knew how Yama felt about me. I had always known, to a certain extent, that he liked me in a way that went beyond mere friendship. If I'd admitted it to myself, I would have known that I was not bothered. He was one of my best friends and I cherished him. I chuckled softly at this thought and Yama tilted his head, a quizzical smile quirking his perfect lips.

"What? What's so funny?"

"Dai's never going to let me live this down."

"What do you mean?"

"For the first time since I've known him, he was right." I shook my head. "He's never going to let me forget that he was right. And I wasn't." Yama laughed loudly, seeming to understand perfectly well what I was talking about. He laughed and I drank in the sight and sound of his laughter.

A/N: Review, my dear readers! I love you all!


	20. Throttled Happiness Yamato

Disclaimer: If I were making money off this, I wouldn't be a poor college student.

A/N: I got a lot of questions last chapter asking me if that was the end. Nope. These guys have a lot more hell to put up with. I still haven't resolved several issues so, not yet.

"Shit," I muttered to myself, pacing around the room for the twentieth time. "Shit. Shit. _Shit._" Tai had gone to bed and I had tried to sleep but thoughts of the night's events kept replaying in my head.

_"Could you kiss me?" he blushes and, angry with him as I am, I can't help but melt._

_"Kiss you?" I reply, trying to disguise my unease with practiced skepticism. My heart is pounding so hard I feel as if it will burst from my chest. He nods and mutters something that I know is a yes and it lodges in my throat. I can't swallow, I can't breathe, but my body moves of its own accord and I am in front of him. I lean close to him, my hands on the armrests of his chair to support myself. "I'll do it but with one condition."_

_"And that is…?"_

"You promise me that you won't freak out. You won't suddenly stop being my friend anymore." He nods his head so earnestly that his hair flops in every direction. I don't know what I'm doing and I'm questioning whether or not I should be doing this but I lean in and touch my lips to his cheek. It's just a light kiss because I want to give him time to back away from me. Or at least, that's what I tell myself. It's really because I want to savor this moment. As I gently move closer to his mouth, I close my eyes and memorize the feel of his skin on my lips, the smell of his shampoo, the heady scent of his skin. I kiss him on the lips, a tiny one. He inhales sharply through his nose but he doesn't move and I take this as consent.

_The kiss is just a kiss, a chaste meeting of skin. Nerves tingle and I can feel it in every particle of my body. It is just a kiss but it is so much more. He relaxes in the few moments that our lips are connected and then I pull away from him, gently, reluctantly. He opens his eyes slowly, and ruefully chuckles that Dai is right._

Right about his being gay. Right about my feelings for him. I am overcome with joy at this statement and I laugh. I can't help myself.

"SHIT!" I let out a string of profanities and punched my pillow viciously. The rules for a therapist's interaction with his patient had been broken. I broke them. I collapsed onto my bed and pressed my hands over my eyes, feeling a headache forming. There would be hell to pay when someone found out and since our first "kiss" at the rehab center, there would definitely be suspicions. I had seen my colleagues' expressions.

Yet, I couldn't help but smile, even as my worries echoed in my head. I couldn't help but smile because I had kissed him. What was better was that _he_ had kissed _me_. I still wasn't sure whether or not it was because he had feelings for me or because he just wanted to know what it felt like to kiss another man.

At this thought, I stood and resumed my pacing around the room. I had allowed myself hope after the night's events, hope that maybe my feelings for him would be reciprocated, that there could be the possibility of…_something_. If he was just using me as an experiment, I didn't know if I could take it. My head kept spinning in circles and I knew I was thinking way too much about this but that was the way I worked; I thought and thought and thought until I drove myself insane with possibilities.

Maybe…but I shook my head. I was getting into dangerous territory and I knew that, as his therapist, I couldn't do this. I couldn't. I'd reconciled with myself that my feelings for him would be platonic, that my relationship with him would be purely platonic. But despite all my convincing and effort, somehow, I had ended up in an even more dangerous position than I had been when I'd first started to fall.

"And now the shit's in the bag," I said aloud, furrowing my brow. "The shit's really in the bag." And I was going to get in trouble for it.

The next morning, he awoke as I began to make omelets for us. Looking over, I noticed that he was tousle-haired and sleepy-eyed as he entered the kitchen.

"Good morning, you," I said, wincing at the fond familiarity in my voice. I sounded like I was greeting a lover, not—whatever we were. He smiled, a tired one, and grunted.

"You too."

"So I'm making omelets. What do you want in yours?" I gestured to the fixings I had chopped and set out in small bowls. He eyed them for a long moment and then shrugged as he listed his preferences. When the eggs were cooked, I brought his omelet to him, setting it on the table with a flourish. I was about to move away to make my own breakfast when his arm shot out and caught me around the waist.

"Tai!" I yelped, falling awkwardly into his lap. "What the hell are you doing?" He laughed menacingly and said into my ear,

"So who's the pussy now?" I leapt off of him and fixed him with an indignant look, which I tried very hard to keep from looking like a pout.

"That was mean," I informed him stiffly and moved back to the stove. "You should start eating that. It won't be very good if it's cold." He took a bite, watching me interestedly as I cooked. We were quiet but it was a comfortable silence. I was still a little nervous about the whole situation but I figured it would come up when we were ready to discuss it.

"Yama, we need to talk." So we were ready now. Taichi had cleaned off his plate so well it looked like there had never been any food on it at all. I finished chewing my last bite, swallowed, and wiped my mouth before answering.

"Alright then." I smiled mildly, despite the panic that was rising in my chest. "Come on, let's go to my secret place. We haven't been there for awhile." Once in the park, he stood and, despite my protests, insisted that he wanted to walk. I folded the chair and offered him my arm, to give him something to stabilize himself as we traveled over the uneven ground.

"Whew," he muttered as he sat cautiously at the base of one of the trees, "that was tiring." He pushed back his sweaty bangs and made a face. "I'm out of shape."

"Yep," I agreed, "you've gotten fat."

"Hey now, that wasn't nice," he scowled. Then, his face got serious and he sighed. "So…"

"So," I echoed, my heart beating rapidly again. "What now?" He ruffled his hair needlessly and then sighed in frustration. I flopped down on a patch of grass in the center of the small clearing and watched him intently, knowing that I had somehow managed to put myself in a very precarious position, my heart poised in his hands and ready to be crushed with one word.

I wanted him, I allowed myself to admit it. I wanted him with such intensity that it scared me. He made me happy; I smiled more since I'd met him than I had since Takeru died. There was something about him that drew me to him, despite the fact that he had hurt me before. More than anything, _anything_, I wanted his friendship and his companionship—and I knew that if he admitted that he had no feelings for me, I would not be able to go back to the way we were. Unwittingly, stupidly, I had poured my whole self into our relationship and I was scared that he was going to hurt me, the way I was always hurt.

His expression changed and he lowered his head, shaking it. He looked hesitant and kept stealing glances at me. He was tense, as was I, and I couldn't help but think, in my nervous state, that he was trying to figure out a way to reject me thoroughly but painlessly. He opened his mouth and I froze, my breath catching in my throat.

"Yama, it's going to take me some time—you know, to get used to—to the idea of being—being gay."

My heart sank as soon as the words came out of his mouth. I knew it. He was going to tell me that he couldn't do it. He wanted me to back away from him. He was going to say that it would take him a long time and, until that happened, he wanted me to stay away from him. I took a deep breath, forcing my tears at bay, wondering if I was overreacting.

He flushed a deep red but continued valiantly. "You're special. To me, I mean. And—and I think—no, I know—that I want to," he paused and fidgeted with his hands for a bit, "to be with you." Then he met my eyes and I saw mixed emotions; determination and fear warred behind those beautiful amber orbs. "Please understand. Please," he pleaded, "just give me some time, Yama. That's all I want. I still—I want to be with you but—I'm going to need time before I'm open—about it."

"You want time?" My voice was constricted with the hope that was rising in me. "That's all?" I laughed shakily, relieved, my breath whooshing out of me. I hadn't been aware I was holding it in.

"What?" he asked, a hint of a pout appearing on his face. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, nothing's funny. I just—you have no idea how happy you've just made me," I grinned, my mouth stretching as wide as it was able. I couldn't help it. "I thought you were going to tell me this was a mistake or…" he scowled at me and I stopped, still smiling as widely as my mouth would allow me. "So what—are we?"

"People?" he answered, looking genuinely confused.

"No, stupid," I snorted in amusement, "what are _we_?" I made a hand gesture indicating the both of us as a single entity.

"Ohhh," understanding dawned on his face, then his brows knitted and he pursed his lips, "I have no idea."

"We're indefinable," I nodded. "I guess that works for me."

"Look, Yama, I don't know if I'd be willing to tell a lot of people yet."

"Only close friends," I agreed. "Sora, Dai, and Kevin, definitely."

"And Kari," he added, a slight frown on his face. "I've been so wrapped up with my problems, I haven't even spoken to her or called her to see how she was doing." I approached him and put my hand on his.

"I'm sure she understands, Tai. You've gone through a lot." He laid his head on my shoulder and I scooted closer to him, until our shoulders and hips touched. His head ended up under my chin and, when he spoke, I could feel the vibrations of his voice deep within my chest.

"Do you think she'll be happy for me?"

"Tai, she loves you so much I'm sure she wouldn't care if you were homosexual, bisexual, trisexual, or transsexual. She'd love you just the same." I ran my fingers through his hair, "So stop worrying about it." I kissed him on the top of his head and closed my eyes, inhaling his scent. He made a whining mewl in the back of his throat and moved his head, demanding without words that I continue patting him.

"You're like a little puppy," I commented, my voice muffled against his head. He huffed, then stilled, having gotten comfortable. At this point, he was practically sitting in my lap as I leaned against the thick tree. I tilted my head back and watched as clouds wandered past the patch of blue sky that was visible through the green foliage, my arms wrapped around Tai's frame. He was quiet and I had no way of telling whether he was in deep thought or asleep but I enjoyed the closeness of our bodies. It was a nice feeling, like I had a very large dog in my lap.

We still hadn't defined what our relationship was. We were, as I'd said, indefinable but that was all right with me. We'd figure it out if necessary but, at the present moment, it wasn't. I felt that it would cause too much awkwardness if I forced the discussion and the last thing I wanted to do was embarrass him and drive him away. I leaned my chin on his soft hair and let the sound of his breathing, the feel of the cool breeze and warm sunshine, lull me into a peaceful sleep that had evaded me since our first kiss.

"Seriously, Tai, you've been walking for awhile, I think you should sit down." I brandished the folded wheelchair at him but he turned from him, his arms crossed.

"No," he pouted childishly. "I want to _walk_." And he stalked away from me before I could do anything to convince him otherwise. As he walked however, his left leg gave out on him and he stumbled, pushing a girl against the brick wall of a building. His hands were on either side of her head and his body was pressed against hers.

"Er, sorry," he said awkwardly, trying to push away from her.

"Get off me, jerk!" she cried, pushing against his chest. I walked toward them to help but a very-muscled, very angry man stalked over and jerked Taichi away by the collar.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, asshole?!" he bellowed. Tai's eyes tripled in size and he stuttered an apology.

"Excuse me, is he bothering you?" I asked smoothly, stepping forward.

"He's hitting on my girlfriend!"

"I'm very sorry," I replied, reaching out and easing Taichi's shirt out of the man's grip. "He's slightly disturbed," I pulled on Tai's body and he fell against me, "and I must have let him out of my sight for a second. He gets so excited about being outside and seeing pretty girls that he forgets to behave." I wrapped my arms around his waist to support him and then wagged my index finger at him.

"Aww," the girl sighed sympathetically; her indignant expression gave way to one of pity. "He _is_ kind of cute and I don't think he meant any harm."

"No, he didn't. He probably just wanted to give you a hug." She melted completely at those words and patted his head before she hugged him, much like one would hug a child. His mouth fell open and he spluttered, unknowingly adding to the façade I had created for him.

"Come on," she said to her boyfriend, tugging at his arm. "It was all just a big misunderstanding." They turned and left, and she waved over her shoulder as they disappeared around the corner. I helped him into the chair and pushed him in the opposite direction.

When we arrived home, we were laughing. I had started laughing as soon as we were at a safe distance. Tai joined in, too, once he'd seen the hilarity of the situation and we were just starting to calm down when we entered the house. Of course, he threw in a few grumbles about the price his dignity was paying but he was glad that I'd found a way to bail him out of the situation.

A red light on the phone was blinking rhythmically, which meant I had a message, but I ignored it. Taichi was complaining of hunger and my own stomach was telling me that it was time for some food so I settled into the comfortable routine of making dinner for the two of us. He watched me and offered to help.

"No, you're already in a wheelchair. The last thing I need is for you to chop your fingers off and then I end up having to take you to the hospital to get them reattached."

"Hmph," he pouted, crossing his arms and sticking out his lower lip.

"You don't have to be like that," I murmured, sauntering over to him. I leaned in and he gulped, his indignant façade crumbling. "Smile." I gave him a small peck on the corner of his mouth before turning briskly and resuming my cooking. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and saw, with much amusement, that he looked rather punch-drunk.

"No," he murmured, rather petulantly. I paid no attention to it but regretted it almost immediately when the back of my knees were hit, causing me to fall back, for the second time, into Tai's lap. "_You_ don't have to be like that," he said, touching his lips to my ear.

"Tai," I growled, "let go of me." He kissed my neck and, for a brief second, I relaxed completely, tilting my head to the side to allow him greater purchase so that he would continue what he was doing. The sound of sizzling brought me back to my senses, however, and I renewed my efforts to stand.

"Aw, come on, Yama," he whined, tightening his hold on me.

"Tai, if you want to eat tonight, you'll let go of me before I count to five." The threat of an empty stomach worked magic and I made a mental note, as I turned the stove off, that I should threaten or bribe him with food anytime I wanted him to do something for me. I smirked and glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, which wasn't missed.

"What? What's with that look?" he asked, alarmed.

"Oh, it's nothing," I said lightly, schooling my expression into one of practiced innocence. "Here." I set a plate in front of him and he sniffed appreciatively. "Well? I didn't slave over that for you to sniff at it."

It amused me slightly how quickly he was becoming comfortable with me. In the privacy of my house, he relaxed the front he unconsciously put up in public. Despite living for years valiantly denying his sexuality, he was opening up to me and allowing himself to become more familiar with me. I didn't push him, didn't initiate bodily contact with him but he was, at heart, a touchy-feely person and his slight discomfort at the fact that I was another man didn't squash his desire to find reasons to touch me—on my hand, my shoulders, my waist. It was amazing how these tentative bumps, the slight brushing of his hand on any part of my body, could give me such chills.

The rest of the night passed quickly, spent playing video games and teasing each other. There was a stolen kiss here or there and I was surprised by how easily Tai could distract me from the game when he leaned over and kissed me. Twice, he beat me because I'd turned my head to deepen the kiss only to find that my player had had his head chopped off in the few seconds my eyes were away from the screen.

"Dammit, there I go again," I groaned as his character was pronounced the winner for the nth time that night. "Alright, alright, you win, happy?" I dropped the controller and stretched. "Besides, it's pretty late."

"Mm-hmm," he agreed, setting his own controller on the couch. He got in his wheelchair with practiced ease and rolled toward his room; I followed suit after turning off the television.

"Good night, Yama," he yawned.

"Night, Taichi."

"Hey, Yama? Come over here." He beckoned me over and I went, raising my eyebrow. He waved his hand in a gesture I knew meant I should bend closer to him and, when I did, he quickly pressed his lips against mine, breaking away after a second and blushing madly after that.

"I could get used to this," I commented and he blushed even darker. Just as I turned to go into my room, the red light caught my attention and I frowned, realizing I'd forgotten to check it.

"What is it?" Tai asked lazily when I walked over to it.

"Message," I replied absently as I picked up the receiver and pushed the button to play the recording. As I listened to it, I could feel the blood draining from my face. My heart stopped beating and I was having trouble breathing; the air suddenly seemed heavier. There was a click and then the automated voice of the machine noted the date and time the message was made.

Taichi said something but all I heard was the clatter of the phone against the wood floor when I dropped it.

A/N: I ask for patience. I know my updates are far in-between but please bear with me. There's been a hell of a lot of crap going on lately so your patience is greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for everyone who has stuck with me. I love you all!


	21. The End Taichi

Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: This story is dedicated to Takato the Dreamer, who stuck with me until the very end. Cheers!

"What? What's wrong?" I asked, alarmed. The color had drained from his face and the phone had slipped from his fingers; he swayed on the spot and had to hold the edge of the counter. His knuckles turned white with the force of his grip. "Yama?" I approached him and held out my hand. He jumped when my fingers brushed against his, and turned panicked eyes to my face.

"Tai," he whispered, unable to say anything else. He had turned slightly green and I wondered whether he was going to be sick. I frowned and picked the phone off the floor, pressing the play button as I held it to my ear.

"_Good afternoon, Mr. Ishida. This is Dr. Takanowa from the Medical Board. I'm calling to inform you that there have been several reports about inappropriate behavior concerning one Taichi Yagami. For now, he has been assigned another physical therapist and, suffice it to say that you will not be receiving any new patients. Your presence is also required at a hearing one week from today, at 2 p.m. I will see you then; we will be discussing your future. Good day."_

"Oh shit, Yama, _shit_," I cursed. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean for this to happen." He was still in shock and I doubted that he even heard me.

"What am I going to do?" he asked, a plea evident in his shaking voice. "How am I going to explain this? How do I explain _us_?" I watched him, unable to offer any words of reassurance. This was my fault.

"I'm sorry, Yama, I'm so sorry," I said, they were the only words that came into my head. "I'm sorry." I reached toward him to give him a hug—something, anything—but he shied away from me.

"No, Tai. They're right. This is—this is _wrong_." His face twisted as he said those words and, though I knew he was lying, they still hurt. He continued, his eyes focused on something beyond me, "We can't do this."

"What?" I asked loudly, "What do you mean? Yama, why can't we?"

"Don't you see how this will look to them?" He shook his head, fiercely. "I can't lose my job, Tai. I _can't_!" And then Yamato crumpled to the floor in a tight, trembling ball. "We can't be together." I could see the effort it took him to say those words, knew how much it cost him, and it made me angry that this is what it would take for him to keep his job.

"No," I shook my head. "No. I didn't flip my entire world upside-down for you just to have you tell me that we can't be together." I put my hand on his shoulder. "I got you into this mess. I'll be damned if you have to get through it without me."

"Tai, they're probably going to call you in. Ask you questions—about me," he winced and pushed his face deeper into his arms, so his next words were muffled, "about us." He looked up at me and put his hands on my cheeks. "I can't make you—I can't make you answer those questions for me." I didn't answer but placed my hands on top of his.

"Come on, Yama, it'll—it'll be okay. We'll get through this. Somehow." He didn't answer, just rose unsteadily and walked back to his room, leaving me alone in the dark.

"Yamato! Yamato, don't think you can just walk away from me with that look on your face and _not_ expect me to ask you what's going on. I can _tell_ something's wrong, dammit," Sora shouted as she pounded angrily on the door.

"Sora?" She gasped and whirled around, clutching her chest.

"Jesus Christ, Tai, _don't_ sneak up on me like that!"

"What's going on?" I asked. "It's a little early to be shouting, don't you think?" She growled angrily, flipping her bangs out of her eyes. Her eyes jumped to the door—as if, by glaring at it, she could burn a hole through the wood.

"There's something wrong with him. I came by, like he asked me to, and when he answered the door, he looked like someone had died. I just about had a heart attack—the way he looked, I thought _you_ had died or run off again or something. And _then_, when I asked him if he wanted to talk about it, he gave me a _completely fake_," she raised her voice, presumably so he could hear her from the other side of the door, "smile and told me nothing was wrong." She pulled a disgusted face and ran her fingers through her hair. I frowned and moved toward the door. "Like I'm stupid enough to believe him," she muttered.

"Yama?" I called softly, as she stepped to the side to give me room. "Are you there?" I sighed, "come on, Yama, open the door." There was a pause and the doorknob turned. He stepped out and my jaw dropped; his golden hair was styled neatly today, as opposed to its usual fashionable disarray and he was wearing a black suit that made his skin appear even paler.

"Hey," he whispered. I saw panic in his blue eyes, though he was trying very hard to hide it. The week had flown past; it was time for his hearing and I knew that he was absolutely terrified. We had spent the past seven days in the house; Yamato was too nervous, too anxious, to keep his mind on anything. I was as supportive of him as I knew how to be, was there for him any time he needed me. His agitation often took over at night; the dark and quiet left too much room for thought and his mind supplied him with the worst-case scenarios. I laid awake, hearing his tossing and turning, hearing the whimpers that escaped from him until I couldn't handle it and entered his room, shaking him until he snapped out of whatever nightmares he was having. I ended up sleeping with him six of the seven nights since he'd received the message; it was innocent—he often fell into a deep, dreamless sleep once I'd climbed onto the bed with him—but I was glad that my presence could offer him such comfort. There was little I could say.

As he walked by, I grabbed his hand and tugged on it. His brow furrowed just a bit but he bent toward me and, by stretching my neck, I pressed my lips against his and he reacted in a way I did not expect; his hand threaded in my hair and his mouth was crushed against mine. I could sense his desperation, his need, so I ignored Sora's presence and pulled him closer to me. Vaguely, I realized that this was the most passionate kiss we'd shared; our previous ones had been chaste—almost hesitant, on my part and cautious on his. He ended the kiss and buried his face into my neck, breathing deeply.

"Tai," he breathed. "Oh God, I'm so scared."

"Everything will be fine," I reassured, not completely confident in my words. "You'll see. We'll all have a big laugh once this is over." I glanced at the clock on the wall and noticed it was fifteen to two. "Shit, Yama, you have to go," I slid my hands to his chest and gently eased him away from me.

He nodded and set his jaw, looking like a man who was heading for his death. He walked stiffly and I followed him to the front door, which Sora held open.

"See you later, Tai. Thanks for coming by, Sora," he whispered, not turning to look at me. I nodded though he couldn't see and watched as he drove away, my heart clenching painfully inside my chest. Sora shut the door and heaved a sigh as she placed her hands on her hips.

"What do you want to do?" she asked. I shook my head but she growled, "Don't give me that. You're not going to mope inside all day. So, I'm going to repeat myself and you _will_ have an answer ready." She paused for a moment, then, "what do you want to do?"

"Let's get out of here," I muttered. "I don't know if I can just sit here and wait. I'll jump out of my fucking skin."

"Okay then, let's go." We moved out into the sun, not saying anything. I could sense her watching me with questions in her eyes but I ignored them—she could wait a little while. It wasn't until we were seated in a private area of her favorite café that her patience wore thin and her curiosity burst forth.

"I want to know what _exactly_ is going on, and I want to know _now_." I winced. When she used that tone of voice, it meant certain death if I didn't comply. "Please?"

"We're together, me and Yama," I mumbled, avoiding her gaze. Even though I wasn't looking at her, I could feel her satisfied smirk, though she dropped it in favor of bombarding me with questions.

"How'd it happen? When did it happen? What's going on with you two now? Where'd Yama go? Why was he so upset?" Her last question was concerned, subdued.

"I don't know _how_ it happened," I answered truthfully. "It just _did_. And it was last week, exactly one week ago today. I was walking…"

"Wait, you can _walk_ now?" she shrieked. "And why the hell did I not hear about it until now?"

"I was walking," I continued, ignoring her questions, much to her displeasure, "and I tripped and kissed him. It wasn't an accident," I said softly, ducking my head. "And, since then, we've been—together."

"Why wasn't I informed?" she asked, her anger and hurt palpable.

"Because, people saw my accidentally deliberate kiss. And Yama's in deep shit because of it. I didn't want to tell you guys what happened because I knew—I knew you'd be happy for me but it wasn't fair to Yama. He's going to lose his job, Sora. He loves being a therapist and now he's going to lose his job. Because of me. Because of what I did." I bent over the table and clutched my head, wracked with guilt.

"It's not your fault," she whispered.

"You don't understand! It's all my fault!"

"Stop it, Tai," she said firmly, "what's done is done. Okay? Besides, I'm glad you finally had the guts to admit it."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh come on," she scoffed, "you can't honestly say that you didn't know you were attracted to him from the moment you met." My mouth opened to voice my protest but I shut it again when I realized that she was right. She smirked widely, crossing her arms in self-satisfaction. I could feel my cheeks warming with my embarrassment but figured that I very much wanted to preserve my dignity by not arguing with her any longer.

"Fine," I mumbled, slightly sheepishly, as the warmth grew on my face. She nodded and, eyes amused, leaned toward me across the table.

"So? What's it like?" her voice was lower, easily lost amidst the happy, busy noise of the bustling café. She was curious, I could tell, but that only made me more self-conscious and I shrugged.

"It's…different," I answered, lowering my voice as well. "I guess it's not that much different from kissing a girl."

"Except that you're kissing another guy," she threw in, as if I needed the clarification. I merely rolled my eyes at her. Our conversation was slightly interrupted as we were served and my half-hearted hopes that she would be distracted from her interrogation went unfulfilled.

"Well?" she asked, through a mouthful of food.

"Well, what?" I muttered almost sullenly.

"Come on, can't a girl ask for details about her best friend's relationship?" she looked at me with wounded eyes. "I'm beginning to think you don't want me to know about it?" The eyes became, if possible, more wounded, as if they would fill up with tears any second. "Why wouldn't you want to tell me, Tai? I'm your best friend." And her lip started trembling.

That did it. No matter how many times she unleashed her kicked-puppy routine on me, I couldn't resist. It always broke my resolve, no matter what I said, no matter how cold-hearted I tried to be, I could never refuse her anything when she did that. The thing was, given my current worries over Yama's hearing and the very public area she had oh-so conveniently chosen to carry on her inquiries, I was not pleased that I was falling for it for the thousandth time since I'd met her.

"What do you want me to tell you, Sora?" I asked, sounding more irritated than I'd meant to. "That I've never felt this way for anyone before? That I would do anything to see him smile? That I want to protect him as best as I can? Because I do. I do, even though I'm starting to sound exactly like one of those clichéd romance movies you hate to watch." A surprised silence followed my outburst and I watched her stare at me with an open mouth.

"Well? Are you just going to stare at me like that all day?" I muttered grumpily, looking away and crossing my arms.

"I'm just…wow," she shook her head, as if clearing it. Then suddenly, she was beaming at me, her smile wide and her face alight with happiness. "Good for you, Tai," she said, with so much sincerity that I knew she wasn't just making fun of me.

"Thanks." We finished eating in silence and, once I'd paid, we left for the park which was quickly becoming one of my favorite places to spend time.

Later that evening, Yamato came home. He didn't say anything to me or Sora, just walked into the house in a daze. He shut the door of his room and there was silence.

We exchanged significant glances. Sora jerked her head in his direction before standing. I waved vaguely at her as she left while I approached the door.

"Yama?" There was no reply. "Yama, I'm coming in now." I opened the door and wheeled inside. He was standing in the middle of the room, his expression shuttered and dark. I didn't like it; he was only a few feet from me but with that look on his face, it felt like he was miles.

"Hey," he said quietly, in a wooden voice.

"How'd it go?"

"Not good." He looked at me, and his face had despair written all over it. "They took away my license. I got fired. It's—it's a mess, Tai. I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Hey," I said, frowning, "it's okay. It's going to be okay. It'll work itself out." I took his hand. "It'll be okay." He laughed humorlessly.

"And what are we going to do? I'm not allowed to practice here anymore."

"Then we'll move," I said. The words took me by surprise but I meant them. Our lives had been turned upside down the day we became more than friends. Maybe it was time for us to start over, find somewhere we wouldn't be judged for loving each other.

"What?" he whispered, looking incredulously at me. "Move?"

"Yeah. I have some money saved up, and I know you do too. I've always wanted to see America. You can go back to school and get your license again. I'll get a job."

"Tai…"

"No, Yama. It will work out. We'll _make_ it work out. I swear."

"Tai, we'd be leaving everyone behind. What about them?"

"They'll visit us. And we'll visit them." I met his gaze and his slowly growing smile, and I knew we'd do it. We'd do it and it would work out. It had to.

Five years later…

The doorbell rang.

"Get the door, will you, Tai?" Yama called from the kitchen. "I'm up to my elbows in food. The least you could do is move your lazy ass."

"Hey! You _love_ my lazy ass," I yelled back.

"Whatever."

"Hey guys," I said, opening the door. Dai, Kevin, Sora, and Kari barreled in, giving me hugs as they entered the house.

"Dude, no wheelchair!" Dai whooped.

"Nope. Haven't needed one for ages," I replied. My back still hurt every now and then, and I wouldn't ever be well enough to play professionally. But I lived with the best physical therapist I could ask for, and Yama had helped me strengthen the muscles I needed to make up for a weak back.

"How are you doing, Tai?" Kari asked, smiling widely as Sora hugged me.

"I'm great. The team's awesome. I think we've really got a chance to go to nationals."

"Team?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah. I coach a high school team. And I love it." I did. I wouldn't ever play professionally but I made my peace with that.

"Hey everyone," Yamato said, coming into the foyer.

"Lookin' good, Ishida!" Dai whistled. Kevin elbowed him in the ribs and I shot him a filthy look before moving to wrap an arm around Yamato's waist.

"Careful," I warned. "This one's mine."

"Whatever, Tai," Yama said, rolling his eyes even as he grinned. "Why don't you stop being an idiot and show everyone their rooms?" I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Need any help, Yama?" Sora asked.

"Sure," he said and led her to the kitchen. The rest followed me.

That night, Yamato and I lay in bed, each of us lost in our own thoughts. I thought he'd fallen asleep when he suddenly shifted so he could look me in the eye.

"I love you, Tai. I love you so, so much."

"Forever," I agreed. He hummed in pleasure and kissed me.

When I first met him, just the thought of kissing him was weird. Now, I was hopelessly in love with him. And the prospect of forever by his side, sharing life together, was more than I could have ever asked for.


End file.
